This was carried in the Onion the other day. It is sad to see farce turn into tragedy right in front of our, largely helpless, eyes.
British voters will decide Thursday whether the U.K. should remain a member of the European Union. Here are the leading arguments for and against the U.K. leaving the E.U.:FOR- First step in returning Britain to its pre-1970s glory as an economically languishing failed colonial empire
- In the face of a resurgent Russia and increased threats from ISIS, leaving E.U. would be the best strategy for letting someone else deal with that shit
- Britons could once again refocus their hatred on internal class divisions
- One less goddamn flag everyone has to hang up
- Won’t have to take part in awkward process of denying Bosnia and Herzegovina’s E.U. membership request
- Throughout its history, Britain has always been a valiant defender of the right of smaller territories to separate from larger, oppressive governments
- Pretty airtight way for citizens to mask racism as concern for national autonomy
AGAINST- Could lead to a chain reaction in which other member states consider leaving and then realize their economy would collapse if they did so
- Abandonment of E.U. would significantly delay transition to single totalitarian world government
- Could possibly make things awkward when bumping into Denmark or Malta at United Nations summits
- The windswept Swiss Alps! The stunning Sagrada Familia! The radiant vineyards of Tuscany!
- Never a good idea to find yourself on Luxembourg’s bad side
- Free trade agreements keep price of imported wiener würstchen low
- Fewer people for David Cameron to order around
"The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth." (Niels Bohr)