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Just for laughs...corner
Rank: Member Joined: 11/16/2009 Posts: 152
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A secretary ws busy setting up da computer 4 hs boss,thn she ws suppose 2 enter a new password.
She asked da boss abt da password nd da guy wanted 2 make da young lady embarrased so he said,"PENIS."
The secretary almost fell off her chair laughing,the curious boss looked at wht she found so funny,so he looked at da screen.
And it ws written,"TOO SHORT CAN NOT BE USED AS PASSWORD."
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An old woman went 2 visit her granddaughter when she got there the granddaughter was naked she asked what going on she granddaughter said its a valentines suit for my husbsnd.
The granny went home she took off her cloths and the grandpa asked what's happening the granny said it a valentines suite the grandpa answered it needs some ironing then The Strong Do What They Want,The Weak Do What They Must!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/11/2008 Posts: 2,306
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Selah, LMAO Great men are not always wise, neither do the aged understand judgement...
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/20/2008 Posts: 1,126 Location: Nairobi
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JOB ADVERTISEMENT!!
The Kingdom of God is hiring!
Are you ready to apply? Do you qualify?
JOB TITLE:
Disciples for Christ
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Tell the dying world how to live through Jesus Christ
NUMBER OF AVAILABLE POSITIONS:
Unlimited; everyone is welcome--preachers, teachers, singers, musicians,
missionaries, custodians, food servers,
and numerous others that we just can't list them all here
EXCEPTION TO AVAILABLE POSITIONS:
The vacancy of BOSS has already been filled by the Holy Spirit
QUALIFICATIONS:
Must have previously sinned and been blood washed;
must be willing to press toward the mark of the high calling in Christ Jesus
EXPERIENCE NEEDED:
None necessary; experience will be earned through
on-the-job training
EDUCATION:
The Holy Spirit will teach you all things
BENEFIT PACKAGE/SALARY:
God (the employer) shall supply all your needs
according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus
Medical Aid Insurance:
Access to the Master Physician Plan
PACKAGE ALSO INCLUDES:
Love, joy, peace, patience, long suffering; Lawyer, Comforter, and a
Wonderful Counselor
RECOMPENSE FOR COMPLETING THE JOB ASSIGNMENT:
The most important benefit, ETERNAL LIFE with the employer.
DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS:
Before the return of Jesus Christ;
date/hour not known; wise to apply TODAY, RIGHT NOW
JOIN MY FREE MINI-COURSE FOR WRITERS. CLICK HERE
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/20/2008 Posts: 1,126 Location: Nairobi
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An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but
only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I'm Zinedine Zidane, the
world's number 1 footballer. FIFA needs me, I can't afford to die." So
he took the first pack and left the plane.
The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the wife of the
former President of the United States , I am the most ambitious woman
in the world. I am also New York Senator and a potential future
President." She just took the 2nd parachute and jumped out of the
plane.
The third passenger, Robert Mugabe, said, "I'm President of Zimbabwe
and I have 13 million helpless people who always look to me for
guidance.
Above all I'm the cleverest President in African history, and Africa
’s people won't let me die". So he put on a pack next to him and
jumped out of the plane.
The fourth passenger, Nelson Mandela, says to the fifth passenger, a
10yr old Chinese school boy, "I'm old and have lived a fruitful life,
God will decide my fate, so I'll let you have the last parachute".
The boy said, "It's OK, there's a parachute left for you. Africa 's
cleverest President (Robert Mugabe) has taken my schoolbag".
For in ALL things God works for GOOD for those who LOVE HIM and have
been called according to His purpose.JOIN MY FREE MINI-COURSE FOR WRITERS. CLICK HERE
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Rank: Elder Joined: 9/15/2006 Posts: 3,907
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This story is an ‘alleged’ transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian maritime contact off the Canadian coast in October 1995.
Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees North to avoid a collision.”
Canadians: “Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees South to avoid collision.”
Americans: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship; I say again divert your course.”
Canadians: “No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.”
Americans: “This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States’ Atlantic fleet. we are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, that’s one five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.”
Canadians: “We are a lighthouse; it’s your call.”
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/4/2008 Posts: 1,703
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AKOWALLY LMAO  Think Positive Test Negative
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/26/2008 Posts: 745
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The following was an insha written by Akinyi,
===============================================
Samani, siku ule mimi alikuwa sule kama mitoto ndogo, maalim nalikuwa namambia sisi ni maji ni msuri saidi
moloyo kwa kurudo mswak, kuoga. kumupa dhian'g, diel na hata kondoro kunywa. Sasa siku moja kama sisi iko pared, maalim olikuja kufanya peksen kwa mitoto yote. olipokuwa anapeksen, mitoto moja olipatkana na ochafuuuu! ya singo, maraten'g ti! Omera! mitoto alikula boka, rua! rua! rua!. Na saa
huo huo, misichana ile kubwa ya klas ya juu, mara moja omesatumwa gi ndo kukelo pi ya kuosa hii mitoto chaf pared ka! Ai yawa!
Hee! mi na mambia wewe, alioswa na ao ao misichana wakubwa hapo kwa parade duk sikita, thiringny watu yote akiona. Mimi aliona ayub sana kwa yeye. Chakore chieng'no, mimi olikata suruale ni fadhal mimi ooge kwa riba dala kusinda kuoswa na msichana sikul, mbele ya sisi nyoote pared.
Ni siku mimi otasaau ya kuwa maji en muim!
Akinyi got 32/40!!!
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 6/8/2007 Posts: 675
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@brav LMAO Form is temporary, class is permanent
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Rank: Member Joined: 12/7/2009 Posts: 320 Location: nairobi
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@bravo
You are killing me gi nyiero yawa! tho
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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Bright kids
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
____________ _
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math
multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
____________ _
TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
____________ _
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
____________ __
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: George!
____________ __
TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!
____________ __
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
____________ __
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
____________ _
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? "
JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time."
____________ _
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down
his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing
it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
____________ __
TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
____________ ___
TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
____________ __
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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