That sounds like a soap. Apart from that, i dont think it is really a big problem. It is only a big problem if it is bigger than what you can solve on your own..... You only need to stop seeing your ex and give a chance to your husband. You cheated on each other, now do you really think you can trust this ex of yours again? do you think he can trust you? He is only enjoying the game before he is caught by the wife.... may be the thrill of nearly getting caught.... May be the reason why you are not able to "love" your husband is because you are still seeing your ex and your emotional needs are being satisfied there hence you feel you do not need your husband.
Ok, if he introduces you to his parents, then? you gonna leave your husband? Where is your husband when you are with your ex for loooooong hours at night? i think you are the one being selfish here.