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Bikozulu. . . and the very best of kenyan bloggers
Siringi
#41 Posted : Wednesday, February 19, 2014 2:44:53 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/8/2013
Posts: 2,517
How to burry a Luo #DEAD
smile smile smile Read it jana and I was fetched from the ground dying of laughter my ribs are aching Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly the part about light skins (tuyellow yellows) and its not biogas its your ass , silly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly dammnit

"The further a luo comes from an electric line the more abnoxious and loud he is"




Mukiri wrote:
You know you are far deep in luo-land when a horde of shrieking and excited half naked luo children run after your car, wanting to touch it. By this time you will be too tired and too hungry to bother lifting your android phone to Instagram this moment. And whatever you do, don’t ask your hosts “aren’t these kids supposed to be in school?” It’s brash. It’s also none of your business. But should you feel you just have to (because you are one of those NGO types yoked with humanitarian piousness) you will be told, deservedly, that, “Luo children are born learned, they only go to school to calibrate their brilliance.” And you would have deserved that answer. -

Read more

"😖😡KQ makes money for everyone except the shareholder 😏😏 " overheard in Wazua
murchr
#42 Posted : Tuesday, June 10, 2014 5:06:56 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/26/2012
Posts: 15,980
"Anga Mathenge ndari kiongo kiega…a ndumira mbica ingi tuma tiga uhii atahiki mani, iromania akiruthia mundu..ta maka kimwana giki kina ng’oni na mundu mugima wa miaka thate!’ ”

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

He lost it abit in translating but its still funny
http://bikozulu.co.ke/a-cut-below/
"There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
.
Bigchick
#43 Posted : Tuesday, June 10, 2014 10:24:52 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/8/2013
Posts: 4,068
Location: At Large.
[quote=murchr]"Anga Mathenge ndari kiongo kiega…a ndumira mbica ingi tuma tiga uhii atahiki mani, iromania akiruthia mundu..ta maka kimwana giki kina ng’oni na mundu mugima wa miaka thate!’ ”

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

He lost it abit in translating but its still funny
http://bikozulu.co.ke/a-cut-below/[/quote]


HilariousLaughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

He has a way with words ....

Wishing Ochang quick recovery so that he can embark on his first flight at the Embu airstrip.
Love is beautiful and so are those who share it.With Love, Marriage is an amazing event in ones life time, the foundation of joy, happiness and success.
Swenani
#44 Posted : Tuesday, June 10, 2014 10:29:09 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
Bigchick wrote:
[quote=murchr]"Anga Mathenge ndari kiongo kiega…a ndumira mbica ingi tuma tiga uhii atahiki mani, iromania akiruthia mundu..ta maka kimwana giki kina ng’oni na mundu mugima wa miaka thate!’ ”

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

He lost it abit in translating but its still funny
http://bikozulu.co.ke/a-cut-below/[/quote]


HilariousLaughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

He has a way with words ....

Wishing Ochang quick recovery so that he can embark on his first flight at the Embu airstrip.


In the meantime, can somebody find for me that Embu girl.it will be a long time before Ochang heals to start landing
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
FRM2011
#45 Posted : Wednesday, August 20, 2014 9:22:31 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/5/2010
Posts: 2,459
Biko has really proven himself as the best with his last two posts.

Pole I don't know how to post links.

He has done an article on gays and one on the jaguar.

He has succeeded in monetizing his blog. Quite a feat if you ask me.
Rankaz13
#46 Posted : Wednesday, August 20, 2014 10:08:05 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
FRM2011 wrote:
Biko has really proven himself as the best with his last two posts.

Pole I don't know how to post links.

He has done an article on gays and one on the jaguar.

He has succeeded in monetizing his blog. Quite a feat if you ask me.


Jaguar

Quote:
I can picture those kids back in class being asked by the teacher: “Which animals did you guys see at the orphanage? Yes, Kipchoge?”

“A giraffe.”

“Yes, Sungut?”

“A buffalo?”

“Good. Yes, Chelimo?”

“A Chakua”

“There are no Chakuas in Africa, Chelimo.”

“But teacher I saw, a white Chakua.”

“Tont argue with me Chelimo!”


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Speculz
#47 Posted : Wednesday, August 20, 2014 10:11:55 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 5/6/2011
Posts: 391
Location: Nairobi
FRM2011 wrote:
Biko has really proven himself as the best with his last two posts.

Pole I don't know how to post links.

He has done an article on gays and one on the jaguar.

He has succeeded in monetizing his blog. Quite a feat if you ask me.



Here you go ..


Bikozulu

Bikozulu
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" - Stephen Wright
masukuma
#48 Posted : Wednesday, August 20, 2014 11:36:49 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 13,821
Location: Nairobi
He is hands down one of the most entertaining writers in Kenya.
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
accelriskconsult
#49 Posted : Wednesday, August 20, 2014 11:58:41 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 4/2/2011
Posts: 629
Location: Nai
How to bury a Luo is a masterpiece!
wanyuru
#50 Posted : Thursday, August 21, 2014 3:06:40 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/29/2007
Posts: 948
the one he talked about Farouq....and the "alley tales". super!
muganda
#51 Posted : Tuesday, September 16, 2014 10:03:40 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 9/15/2006
Posts: 3,905
The Bri'ish denied a young luo man from Kendu Bay entry to the United feakin Kingdom. He penned a lethal missive http://bikozulu.co.ke/visa-denied/

On the balance of probability, Mr Smith did not foresee this outcome

murchr
#52 Posted : Wednesday, September 17, 2014 3:15:28 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/26/2012
Posts: 15,980
muganda wrote:
The Bri'ish denied a young luo man from Kendu Bay entry to the United feakin Kingdom. He penned a lethal missive http://bikozulu.co.ke/visa-denied/

On the balance of probability, Mr Smith did not foresee this outcome



Smith doesnt even know he sent the letter to Biko, but that was an awesome read. And the response makes it even more epic
"There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
.
masukuma
#53 Posted : Wednesday, September 17, 2014 7:59:51 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 13,821
Location: Nairobi
muganda wrote:
The Bri'ish denied a young luo man from Kendu Bay entry to the United feakin Kingdom. He penned a lethal missive http://bikozulu.co.ke/visa-denied/

On the balance of probability, Mr Smith did not foresee this outcome


now the onus is on them.... the pen is mightier than the sword. i just love the way the guy writes.
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
pleasecallme
#54 Posted : Wednesday, September 17, 2014 10:22:57 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 7/14/2011
Posts: 171
this guy is good. best Kenyan blogger. He should write a book.
You kill bird...bird dead snake come.
urstill1
#55 Posted : Wednesday, September 17, 2014 10:27:59 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 9/6/2013
Posts: 1,446
Location: In a house
masukuma wrote:
muganda wrote:
The Bri'ish denied a young luo man from Kendu Bay entry to the United feakin Kingdom. He penned a lethal missive http://bikozulu.co.ke/visa-denied/

On the balance of probability, Mr Smith did not foresee this outcome


now the onus is on them.... the pen is mightier than the sword. i just love the way the guy writes.


On the comment section one guy stated that from the shores, onus sounds like the male version of anus according to their naming rights. This is interesting.
masukuma
#56 Posted : Wednesday, September 17, 2014 10:38:01 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 13,821
Location: Nairobi
butterflyke wrote:
kiterunner wrote:
muganda wrote:
I read and reread BikoZulu's A power nap in the ditch...

The style in that short story, quick paced, short sentences, describing the characters look, mind, biases - very unique.

Okay there have been other narratives that follow the same flow, even a movie like Changing Lanes. But not many writers I've read tell a Kenyan story so effectively.


I read somewhere Jackson Biko has some respect for Pala Oyunga (denizen of old relationships). But as with all students, he surpassed his master.




He writes very well though their styles are slightly different. Pala mostly writes on relationships with a tinge of male chauvinism which makes him popular with men while Biko tells the contemporary Kenyan story with shock humour with a unique style.

PS Is your first name Clay? If it is I think you are one of the most objective writers in NMG (With Muriithi Mutiga). Every other Kenyan columnist at NMG dons orange/red goggles from time to time IMO


Clay Muganda, Muriithi Mutiga, Mutuma Mathiu.....

how dare they imply that he is living under the poverty line and his car uses 56 bob to ignite.
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
muganda
#57 Posted : Thursday, September 18, 2014 3:38:59 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 9/15/2006
Posts: 3,905
Onus, it's not a bum deal. The 'laid back diplomat who sings in the choir' responds. What's a man to do if the damn blog has been trending 48hrs now.

I infer Biko may have applied late, insufficient documentation, and people do not get favours for personal contacts (but I figure he'll get it on reapply).



harrydre
#58 Posted : Friday, September 19, 2014 11:59:17 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/10/2008
Posts: 9,131
Location: Kanjo
pleasecallme wrote:
this guy is good. best Kenyan blogger. He should write a book.


ooh yes, he has a way with his words...it's pure joy reading his stuff.
i.am.back!!!!
leona
#59 Posted : Saturday, September 20, 2014 2:54:14 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 8/1/2008
Posts: 1,432
Location: Marsabit
Biko is amazing.. and all his stories are unique and not forgettable. The first i ever read was 'Alley tales' then 'Sabina joy'. totally hilarious & witty
Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
harrydre
#60 Posted : Wednesday, January 14, 2015 3:15:29 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/10/2008
Posts: 9,131
Location: Kanjo
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