Tooo funny:
http://www.telegraph.co....s-next-nine-months.html
Nine predictions for Arsenal's next nine months
A month-by-month breakdown on Arsenal's likely woes ahead featuring Arsene Wenger's failure in the transfer market (again) and Cesc Fabregas running the show
By Jonny Cooper12:14PM BST 03 Sep 2014 Comments3 Comments
1. September to October - A solid start raises early season hopes. Despite their underwhelming first three games to this year's season, Arsenal traditionally start well: they've been in the top four by the end of October five times in the last seven years.
The early season promise reached its zenith last year, when Aaron Ramsey ran amok in September and October to propel Arsenal to the top of the table nine games in. That's not to say that the 2013-14 campaign turned out any differently to the normal Groundhog Season, however.
2. October to November - Squad limitations become apparent. Arsenal's longstanding issue with big teams continues. They struggle to assert themselves against Manchester United and Borussia Dortmund, while Chelsea enjoy a comfortable victory at Stamford Bridge, where Cesc Fabregas artfully bulldozes Mikel Arteta in midfield.
3. December - Results improve as the transfer window beckons. Arsenal are linked with a host of names during the month, including Sami Khedira, William Carvalho, Adrien Rabiot, and every other deep-lying midfielder who looks like he could beat Arteta in an arm wrestle. But the month's opposition - including Southampton, Newcastle, QPR and West Ham - prove little problem for Arsenal, and Wenger insists in his post-match interviews that he is happy with his squad and is only interested in bringing in "top, top quality".
4. January - Wenger announces 'signing' as the transfer window closes. While his top four opponents add to their squads, Wenger speaks only of how much he dislikes the January transfer window. Midway through the month, Arsenal travel to Manchester City in a game that's billed - somewhat hopefully - as a test of their title credentials. They lose.
When asked about the possibility of new signings after the game, Wenger says that the return of Oliver Giroud, now recovered from his broken ankle, is "like a new signing". It's not - and it wouldn't be the defensive-minded signing the team needs anyway - but no matter. We've been here before and, most likely, we'll be here again.
5. February - Injuries take their toll. After playing two 90-minute games a week since early September, Alexis Sanchez, Mesut Ozil and Aaron Ramsey suffer the first in what turns out to be a series of muscular problems that effectively curtail their seasons.
6. March - Arsenal go out of the Champions League. Having finished second in their group to Borussia Dortmund, Arsenal draw Bayern Munich in the Round of 16. They lose, exiting the competition at the same stage for the fifth straight year in a row.
7. April - Flat track bullies get flattened. Arsenal's annual spring implosion coincides with the visits of Liverpool and Chelsea, who take advantage of an injury-ravaged squad that visibly lacks confidence. Expect tennis-style scorelines.
Mathieu Flamini is suspended for either one or both of these games, having picked up a yellow card in every one of his previous 10 substitute appearances.
8. April to May - The Emirates empties. With every passing home game, the number of empty red seats grows, spreading like chicken pox through the crowd....but Arsenal continue to announce attendances of over 59,000.
9. May - Arsenal finish fourth in the Premier League. The club has now finished either third or fourth for 10 seasons in a row (seven fourths, three thirds).
They qualify for the Champions League for the 18th straight season.
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