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Something to cool dem nerves
Surealligator
#1 Posted : Wednesday, December 16, 2009 12:22:57 PM
Rank: User

Joined: 6/27/2008
Posts: 709
Location: Velayat-e Faryab
Teacher: "Children, tomorrow I would like you to give me an example of a development that is >currently being built near your home and what are the advantages of this new development. "
At the end of the class, the teacher asks that all the little girls remain behind for 5 minutes.

Teacher: "Young ladies, I have received numerous complaints from your parents concerning >Little Johnny's' crude remarks. It is very likely that for tomorrow he is going to say something dirty and that is why I am asking you all, to avoid any further problems, when he says anything >that appears rude, to get up and leave the class room"

Everybody agreed to this plan.

Next day, teacher: "Is everybody ready with their assignment? Go ahead Anna"

Anna: "Near my home, a supermarket is being built. Now my mommy doesn't
have to walk so far to get bread and milk."

Teacher: "Very good Anna! Yes Koosie!"

Koosie: "Near my home, they are building a furniture factory. My addy is
a carpenter and this permits him to work near home"

Teacher: "Excellent, thank you Koosie!"

At this point, little Johnny's hand shoots up and the teacher asks:

"Oh heavens, tell me Johnny what new development is being built near your home."

Little Johnny: "Near my home, they are building a brothel" >

As all the young ladies get up and proceed to leave, Little Johnny says,
"Hold it, you little whores, it hasn't opened yet!"
Go overdrive in purchasing the goods when there's blood on the streets, expecially if the blood is your own
McReggae
#2 Posted : Wednesday, December 16, 2009 12:42:04 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Why men shouldn't write advice columns,
Dear John,
I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back to get my husbands help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbours daughter.
I am 32, my husband is 34 and the neighbours daughter is 19. We have been married for 10 years. When i confornted him, he broke down and admitted they had been having an affair for the past 6 months. He won't go to counselling, and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help?
Sincerely, Sheila,

Dear Sheila,
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is debris in the fuel line. If it is clear check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps,
John!!!!
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
brav
#3 Posted : Wednesday, December 16, 2009 12:43:26 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 745
Laughing out loudly lmao
selah
#4 Posted : Wednesday, December 16, 2009 12:43:58 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/13/2009
Posts: 1,950
Location: in kenya
he he he
that jonny need some spanking.
'......to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; 3 In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.' Colossians 2:2-3
JeanLucPiccard
#5 Posted : Wednesday, December 16, 2009 3:02:07 PM
Rank: New-farer

Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 23
Location: Nairobi
LOL. Kuna Nduru Gizani
kamurigo
#6 Posted : Thursday, December 17, 2009 6:47:02 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/8/2008
Posts: 82
A mom was making pancakes for her two boys one morning. And as she poured the batter onto the griddle, the kids began to argue and bicker over who would get the first pancake.
Bright mom that she was, she immediately recognized this as one of those teachable moments.
She said, "Now, kids, if Jesus were sitting here with us, you know what he’d say. He’d say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.’"
“You’re so right, Mom,” said Kevin. “Ryan! -- You be Jesus!”

aemathenge
#7 Posted : Thursday, December 17, 2009 9:40:26 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
akowally
#8 Posted : Thursday, December 17, 2009 1:48:02 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/20/2008
Posts: 1,126
Location: Nairobi
Itnersetnig!!!



Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a tatol mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
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selah
#9 Posted : Friday, December 18, 2009 7:51:16 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/13/2009
Posts: 1,950
Location: in kenya
@akowally
Applause thats really interesting and fuuny
'......to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; 3 In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.' Colossians 2:2-3
akowally
#10 Posted : Friday, December 18, 2009 10:52:38 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/20/2008
Posts: 1,126
Location: Nairobi
@ selah

yaeh, itneretsing & fnnuy Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
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