A luhya lady goes to drink with three white men.
The first one say,"Johnie walker single".

The second one say,"Jack daniels single".

The third one say,"Martini single".

When it came to the turns lady to order,she said,"Glory wekesa married"

@Masukuma tiga wana mani

Adopted

Making a baby The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..." "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat". After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh, my word!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look" "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?" "It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long." Mrs. Smith fainted

Bwana King G karudi usiku wa manane akiwa mlevi chakari;akabisha mlango Bi.King G akakataa kufungua mlango na kumwambia "Nitapiga nduru majirani waje uwaambie umetoka wapi usiku"

Bwana King G akasema "Basi najirusha kwa kwa swimming pool nikufe tuone nani atalipa karo" Bwana King G akarusha jiwe kubwa kwa swimming pool.Bi.King G kuskia hivyo akatoka mbio akielekea kwa pool.wakati alipotoka nje Bwana King G akaingia kwa nyumba na kufunga mlango.Bi King G kurudi kwa nyumba akapata mlango umefungwa akamwambia Bwana King G afungue.

Bwana King G akasema "Sifungui mlango,nitapiga nduru majirani waje uwaambie unatoka wapi usiku wa manane"

Man: Hello baby!

wife : Hello sweety.
Man:I will delay today
wife :yeah right i know you are with your
prostitutes i regret the day i met u ... actually
i dont love u i hate u
husband : I'm at the bank
wife : Haa! how did u know that i have no
money ..baby bring me 20,000/- ...i love u so
much ..i love u more than my heart... hurry
baby I'm boiling you some water for bathing...
don't forget the chips and chicken love u
mwaaah ...mwaaaah
husband ::: Baby ... im at the blood bank ...im
donating blood ...
wife : mscheew... tell them to remove all the
blood mscheew

And did you hear his accent? It was hilarious.

Silly boy. Do you know coincidentally I have twin sisters. Oh, and yes. They are hot