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McReggae		#1981 Posted : Wednesday, December 18, 2013 3:43:39 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi		Omondi goes to an M-pesa attendant in Kisumu Omondi: Hey yo,wazzup ma nigga,i wanna cash out some mulla from ma phone,you feel me?....I need 15,000..... Attendant: You can withdraw sir..... Omondi: Hold on.....(he buys credit by mistake from M-pesa menu) ...mayooooo,mayoooooo Attendant: wazzup ma nigga? Omondi:(angrily) Wazzup makachieth!....anyiewo credit mar aluf apar gabich teee,mayooo ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Euge		#1982 Posted : Wednesday, December 18, 2013 4:09:41 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 8/4/2008 Posts: 2,849 Location: Rupi		washiku wrote: masukuma wrote: This goes out to all my luhya friends..we are mourning madiba and NOT matiba Lol...Kumbe in plural ni matiba...and my fellow Gikuyus should be told Mandera is not dead, its still a town in Kenya. We are mourning Mandela. LOL! Lord, thank you!
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ZZE123		#1983 Posted : Wednesday, December 18, 2013 4:12:42 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 6/21/2008 Posts: 2,490		Mwangi and Wangare were taking a romantic walk in the forest then Mwangi notices there is no one else in the forest but them so he tells Wangare."Let’s do wiwichu".. Wangare says no let’s just hold hands.. ok Mwangi agrees...after a few minutes he says again.. let’s du wiwichu pliz but Wangare say no I don’t wanna do it...so they go back to holding hands....after a few minutes Mwangi says " pliiiiiiiizzzzz I can’t help it lets just do wiwichu... Wangare agrees and Mwangi hugs her n they start............."wiwichu a merry Christmas... wiwichu a merry Christmas..wiwichu a merry Christmas and a happy new yr..... The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem
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washiku		#1984 Posted : Wednesday, December 18, 2013 4:32:28 PM
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095		ZZE123 wrote: Mwangi and Wangare were taking a romantic walk in the forest then Mwangi notices there is no one else in the forest but them so he tells Wangare."Let’s do wiwichu".. Wangare says no let’s just hold hands.. ok Mwangi agrees...after a few minutes he says again.. let’s du wiwichu pliz but Wangare say no I don’t wanna do it...so they go back to holding hands....after a few minutes Mwangi says " pliiiiiiiizzzzz I can’t help it lets just do wiwichu... Wangare agrees and Mwangi hugs her n they start............."wiwichu a merry Christmas... wiwichu a merry Christmas..wiwichu a merry Christmas and a happy new yr..... I thot wiwichu is a new Wazua lingo. Lol A needy child's education depends on you. Click here to assist
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Mukiri		#1985 Posted : Thursday, December 19, 2013 12:25:59 AM
Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222		ZZE123 wrote: Mwangi and Wangare were taking a romantic walk in the forest then Mwangi notices there is no one else in the forest but them so he tells Wangare."Let’s do wiwichu".. Wangare says no let’s just hold hands.. ok Mwangi agrees...after a few minutes he says again.. let’s du wiwichu pliz but Wangare say no I don’t wanna do it...so they go back to holding hands....after a few minutes Mwangi says " pliiiiiiiizzzzz I can’t help it lets just do wiwichu... Wangare agrees and Mwangi hugs her n they start............."wiwichu a merry Christmas... wiwichu a merry Christmas..wiwichu a merry Christmas and a happy new yr..... Proverbs 19:21
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Mastermind		#1986 Posted : Thursday, December 19, 2013 1:38:14 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 1/25/2012 Posts: 1,624 Location: Langley		Kysse: Nataka embe. Mama mboga: (Anamchagulia embe moja mbivu) Bei ni ile ile. Kysse: Mbichi Please If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
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kysse		#1987 Posted : Thursday, December 19, 2013 2:24:24 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth		Mastermind wrote: Kysse: Nataka embe. Mama mboga: (Anamchagulia embe moja mbivu) Bei ni ile ile. Kysse: Mbichi Please lol.
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XSK		#1988 Posted : Thursday, December 19, 2013 8:23:14 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/8/2009 Posts: 975 Location: Nairobi		kysse wrote: Mastermind wrote: Kysse: Nataka embe. Mama mboga: (Anamchagulia embe moja mbivu) Bei ni ile ile. Kysse: Mbichi Please lol. where is the joke here? You will know that you have arrived when money and time are not mutually exclusive "events" in you life!
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Rankaz13		#1989 Posted : Friday, December 20, 2013 9:20:29 AM
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here		McReggae wrote: Omondi goes to an M-pesa attendant in Kisumu Omondi: Hey yo,wazzup ma nigga,i wanna cash out some mulla from ma phone,you feel me?....I need 15,000..... Attendant: You can withdraw sir..... Omondi: Hold on.....(he buys credit by mistake from M-pesa menu) ...mayooooo,mayoooooo Attendant: wazzup ma nigga? Omondi:(angrily) Wazzup makachieth!....anyiewo credit mar aluf apar gabich teee,mayooo Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rankaz13		#1990 Posted : Friday, December 20, 2013 9:30:40 AM
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here		M.P Gone Mad!! OFFICER:- what is your name? MUZO:- M.P sir! HR OFFICER:- In full please MUZO:- Muzo Phiri HR OFFICER:- your father's name? MUZO:- M.P sir HR OFFICER:- what does that mean? MUZO:- Melvin Phiri HR OFFICER:- your native place? MUZO: M.P sir HR OFFICER:- what's that? MUZO:- Muchinga Province HR OFFICER:- what is your qualification? MUZO:- M.P HR OFFICER:- (angry) what is thaat?!!! MUZO:- Mathematics Professor HR OFFICER:- so why do you need a job? MUZO:- it is because of M.P sir! HR OFFICER: meaning? MUZO:- Money Problems HR OFFICER:- would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like? MUZO: MP sir. HR OFFICER: and what is that? MUZO:- Marvelous Personality! HR OFFICER:- I see...I will get back to you. MUZO:- sir, how was M.P sir? HR OFFICER:- and what's that again? MUZO:- My Performance. HR OFFICER:- I think u are an M.P MUZO:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g? HR OFFICER:- Mental Patient!!! Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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washiku		#1991 Posted : Friday, December 20, 2013 12:25:27 PM
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095		@Am, si tukutane pale Sabasaba tukure hii thigukuu? These are the rules... Quote: MAWATHO MARIA MARARURUMUKIRIO NI MUTUTHO MAKONIÍ RIRIA WAGIA NA IRUGA GWAKU MUCIÌ 1. No nginya ùkorwo na fameeti ya cibù, kana shafa shifu, kana kafuteeni wa itùra. 2. Ageni aku makinya, nì marìe kana manyue makirìte ta twana twa eighti tùgììka kìgeranio! 3. Angìkorwo ùrandìkithìtie fameeti atì ùrarugìra andù mùratina, hatikagìe na Taska, Njooni Walker, kana mùng'aarì iruainì. 4. Angìkorwo ageni aku nì arìa manyuaga makahùyuka ta mìthige mìhùùnu, no nginya ùkorwo na peegi cia kùmatumania iromo. 5. Mwarìa na mwanyua gùtirì kwaria maùndù marahutania na ùteti. Ùcio nì ùrimù!! 6. Angìkorwo wìna ciana cia thì wa mìaka ikumi na ìtandatù, amba ùcitùme cigaikare kwa neiba ùrìa ùtarì na iruga gwake. 7. Gùtirì ùhoro wa kùnyuìra njoohi hakuhì na kiugù kìa mbùri, mùno mùno mwena wa Kiambu na Mùrang'a! 8. Ndùkanagerie kùharíria iruga ùkimenyaga ndùrìkìtie kùríha fiithi ya ciana! 9. Na mùthia, ririkana atì ona gùtuìka nyoota maita nyoota no nyoota-rì, njoohi ti thuffuh...!! Ningì njoohi nì njohi! MENYITHIAI ARAATA MAUNDU MAYA!! A needy child's education depends on you. Click here to assist
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washiku		#1992 Posted : Friday, December 20, 2013 12:29:37 PM
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095		XSK wrote: kysse wrote: Mastermind wrote: Kysse: Nataka embe. Mama mboga: (Anamchagulia embe moja mbivu) Bei ni ile ile. Kysse: Mbichi Please lol. where is the joke here? I think the joke is Kysse saying the Mbichi which comes out as "Bitch, pleaaase" A needy child's education depends on you. Click here to assist
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Mastermind		#1993 Posted : Friday, December 20, 2013 12:29:59 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 1/25/2012 Posts: 1,624 Location: Langley		XSK wrote: kysse wrote: Mastermind wrote: Kysse: Nataka embe. Mama mboga: (Anamchagulia embe moja mbivu) Bei ni ile ile. Kysse: Mbichi Please lol. where is the joke here? Bitch please If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
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vinii		#1994 Posted : Friday, December 20, 2013 1:43:06 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 10/14/2009 Posts: 2,057		"@kennytoonz: Play your woman like a football and Watch another boy catch her like a goal keeper..you will regret watching the replay.." If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
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washiku		#1995 Posted : Friday, December 20, 2013 4:32:11 PM
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095		Awkward moments:.: 1)Ukoexam room alafu chopi wa daro anainua mkono anasema question 4 iko na shida na ushapata ansa.... 2)Uko exam room alafu chopi fulani anaitisha graph paper na ushamaliza paper na hujaona mahali inatumika... 3)Uko exam room alafu invigilator anakam anasema uruke question 6 kwanza iko na shida watarectify baadaye,na hiyo pekee ndio ulikuwa umeweza... 4) Uko exam rum halafu unaona watu wanatumia ruler na hujui ni kwa nini 5)Uko exam rum,chopi anainua mkono anadai question 3 na 17 ni similar na umemaliza na hukunotice 6) Uko exam room na unaona watu wako busy wako na shughuli ww tu umezubaa unashindwa uende wapi,ufanye nn...maisha ni ivo. 7) uko exam room but the only thing you rem is your name and reg no. Hata course name na code hujui.. Unangoja que paper ndio ucopy kwa ans booklet 8)Unaomba rubber exam room na hujaandika chochote. 9)Uko exam room alafu invigilator anatoka nje kunyora na sa hizo ka chem kamekukalia ukigeukia neiba unakuta anadoz 10)uko exam room mwenzako anaomba extra foolscap ya essay wakati wewe umeweka hujafika ata nusu foolscap na mlipewa mbili! 11)That akward moment kwa exam watu wanchora diagrams na hata ujui ni nini unafaa kuchora.... unaanza kuchora invigilator A needy child's education depends on you. Click here to assist
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washiku		#1996 Posted : Friday, December 20, 2013 4:41:10 PM
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095		"How does Uhuru's case die for lack of witnesses, with all these Jehovah witnesses knocking our doors?" A needy child's education depends on you. Click here to assist
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4lourBliss		#1997 Posted : Friday, December 20, 2013 4:43:11 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 5/9/2013 Posts: 285 Location: hapakule.		washiku wrote: Awkward moments:.: 1)Ukoexam room alafu chopi wa daro anainua mkono anasema question 4 iko na shida na ushapata ansa.... 2)Uko exam room alafu chopi fulani anaitisha graph paper na ushamaliza paper na hujaona mahali inatumika... 3)Uko exam room alafu invigilator anakam anasema uruke question 6 kwanza iko na shida watarectify baadaye,na hiyo pekee ndio ulikuwa umeweza... 4) Uko exam rum halafu unaona watu wanatumia ruler na hujui ni kwa nini 5)Uko exam rum,chopi anainua mkono anadai question 3 na 17 ni similar na umemaliza na hukunotice 6) Uko exam room na unaona watu wako busy wako na shughuli ww tu umezubaa unashindwa uende wapi,ufanye nn...maisha ni ivo. 7) uko exam room but the only thing you rem is your name and reg no. Hata course name na code hujui.. Unangoja que paper ndio ucopy kwa ans booklet 8)Unaomba rubber exam room na hujaandika chochote. 9)Uko exam room alafu invigilator anatoka nje kunyora na sa hizo ka chem kamekukalia ukigeukia neiba unakuta anadoz 10)uko exam room mwenzako anaomba extra foolscap ya essay wakati wewe umeweka hujafika ata nusu foolscap na mlipewa mbili! 11)That akward moment kwa exam watu wanchora diagrams na hata ujui ni nini unafaa kuchora.... unaanza kuchora invigilator Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
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sherrif		#1998 Posted : Friday, December 20, 2013 7:38:36 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 7/27/2012 Posts: 169		washiku wrote: Awkward moments:.: 1)Ukoexam room alafu chopi wa daro anainua mkono anasema question 4 iko na shida na ushapata ansa.... 2)Uko exam room alafu chopi fulani anaitisha graph paper na ushamaliza paper na hujaona mahali inatumika... 3)Uko exam room alafu invigilator anakam anasema uruke question 6 kwanza iko na shida watarectify baadaye,na hiyo pekee ndio ulikuwa umeweza... 4) Uko exam rum halafu unaona watu wanatumia ruler na hujui ni kwa nini 5)Uko exam rum,chopi anainua mkono anadai question 3 na 17 ni similar na umemaliza na hukunotice 6) Uko exam room na unaona watu wako busy wako na shughuli ww tu umezubaa unashindwa uende wapi,ufanye nn...maisha ni ivo. 7) uko exam room but the only thing you rem is your name and reg no. Hata course name na code hujui.. Unangoja que paper ndio ucopy kwa ans booklet 8)Unaomba rubber exam room na hujaandika chochote. 9)Uko exam room alafu invigilator anatoka nje kunyora na sa hizo ka chem kamekukalia ukigeukia neiba unakuta anadoz 10)uko exam room mwenzako anaomba extra foolscap ya essay wakati wewe umeweka hujafika ata nusu foolscap na mlipewa mbili! 11)That akward moment kwa exam watu wanchora diagrams na hata ujui ni nini unafaa kuchora.... unaanza kuchora invigilator stress tupu.
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Rankaz13		#1999 Posted : Friday, December 20, 2013 10:33:47 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here		washiku wrote: Awkward moments:.: 1)Ukoexam room alafu chopi wa daro anainua mkono anasema question 4 iko na shida na ushapata ansa.... 2)Uko exam room alafu chopi fulani anaitisha graph paper na ushamaliza paper na hujaona mahali inatumika... 3)Uko exam room alafu invigilator anakam anasema uruke question 6 kwanza iko na shida watarectify baadaye,na hiyo pekee ndio ulikuwa umeweza... 4) Uko exam rum halafu unaona watu wanatumia ruler na hujui ni kwa nini 5)Uko exam rum,chopi anainua mkono anadai question 3 na 17 ni similar na umemaliza na hukunotice 6) Uko exam room na unaona watu wako busy wako na shughuli ww tu umezubaa unashindwa uende wapi,ufanye nn...maisha ni ivo. 7) uko exam room but the only thing you rem is your name and reg no. Hata course name na code hujui.. Unangoja que paper ndio ucopy kwa ans booklet 8)Unaomba rubber exam room na hujaandika chochote. 9)Uko exam room alafu invigilator anatoka nje kunyora na sa hizo ka chem kamekukalia ukigeukia neiba unakuta anadoz 10)uko exam room mwenzako anaomba extra foolscap ya essay wakati wewe umeweka hujafika ata nusu foolscap na mlipewa mbili! 11)That akward moment kwa exam watu wanchora diagrams na hata ujui ni nini unafaa kuchora.... unaanza kuchora invigilator Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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washiku		#2000 Posted : Saturday, December 21, 2013 1:46:03 AM
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095		2000th Joke...well, not really. All churches which insist on SOWING SEEDS should fall under the Ministry of Agriculture. If A Carpenter Was Enough for Mary The Mother Of Jesus, Then What's The Problem With Girls Of Nowadays??? A needy child's education depends on you. Click here to assist
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