Wazua
»
Club SK
»
Life
»
Single Women with kids
Rank: Member Joined: 6/24/2009 Posts: 21
|
To you all,,,,,
Some men can just be a pain and the only way out is to leave em,if you(the man) was married and divorsed with kids,would you consider urself suit to be married again?????And in this case,will you also be the 'ploughed land' or you still term urself 'the fertile land that is unploughed?'
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 5/20/2009 Posts: 11
|
Take it however you want,but your instincts should give you some pretty good warning signals.
Kama u r easy and there is friendship and laughter and you've sorod that ikiumana she is stable and level headed,why the hell not go for it?
A very small percentage of this society is chaste (and note I do not say celibate,thats another issue); personally,I think the maturity and courage it takes to raise a child single handedly says something about the character of the person involved. It may lead to certain affectations that make relationships difficult but those develop of necessity,to provide defence against a cruel world,and if you can earn trust genuinely you could be on to a good thing.
On the other hand,some women who have chosen to have children did so indolently,as a path of least resistance so to put it. You might be advised to stay away in this case but even so remember you are responsible for your environment,& if you think you're strong enough,go ahead and gouge away!
If it worries you that the kids are not yours,remember,even your own kids are not yours. A goat or a snake can procreate,but fatherhood or motherhood is a stewardship,a responsibility for the life of another human being that is far removed from a random response to a lustful urge.
Use your judgement.
Life is complex,it has a real and an imaginary part
|
|
|
Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/19/2008 Posts: 839
|
Wini*... you have yourself tied in a bend..... the topic here is women with children.... not equality...... or gender balance... if you want to share your thoughts on the topic... feel free to start a new thread....... the damning reality... is that gender balance is often miscontrued to.... equality..... I'm the real Massey F.....shut your mouth I'm the real Massey Fergu...... Shut your mouth....
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 6/30/2009 Posts: 24
|
@ the real shaft,I too think that your decoder is switched off today or maybe you had too many yesterday. or somebody exchanged you real shaft and gave you a Taiwanese one. te heee. just kidding
I agree with the guys who think that this matter is best looked at from a case to case basis.
What a bam bam?
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 6/27/2008 Posts: 4,114
|
Some issues are best discussed with real-life examples: My friend married a lady with a child 16 years ago. They are still happily married today. During the wedding preparations,some friends and family members questioned his wisdom in 'choosing' a woman who has a child. His response was this: would she have been better quality if she had aborted the pregnancy like cousin X's wife did? That put the matter to rest and the wedding went on. Behind the gardens...Behind the wall...Under the tree (Including: Red...Dark Blue...Yellow) Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 8/4/2008 Posts: 2,849 Location: Rupi
|
Marry her if you love her and if the kid is not attached to the father. Lord, thank you!
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 7/6/2009 Posts: 40
|
I am really appreciating ur feedback guys
WIN WIN SITUATION
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 9/12/2008 Posts: 58
|
That is a tricky situation. My advice would be if it is your first marriage don't marry her. The more you see the 'bastard' the more you think of how the other guy used to 'work on her'. That will kill your psche. Further,if the lady is incontact with the father you can't rule them 'doing it for old time sake'.What kind of marraige will it be if the father of the kids keep visiting the kids?
On the flipside if it your second marriage you can consider marrying a woman with a kid since kila mtu analete mzigo wake.
die trying
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 11/13/2008 Posts: 87
|
Marry the person in ''her''. Take your time to know her better.Its only then you can make an informed decisions.
I have seen single women with kids who have been married and are living happily ever after.
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 2/7/2007 Posts: 11,935 Location: Nairobi
|
I join those who stand for determination on case by case........and this is why.Most men run away from the said single women with kids the moment they realise they are pregnant........It's an old known thing and the likes of TRS refer to this as 'jumping'.Suppose the ladies had a way of running away from us and leaving behind each kid we father?.Many men would need a children's home in their compound....At least in most cases,the ladies limit the kids to no more than one....!!..How many men can say this for dead?........and before we judge our sisters,let's ask ourselves this question then.How many ladies would marry a single man with kids.....?...Many kids..??.....while at it,we would wish to marry gals who have never been ploughed.......Our gals to,wish to marry men who have never ploughed......Can sk dudes stand and let's get a count.Am obviously out...! Yombo dhier....!! Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 10/17/2008 Posts: 338 Location: Kenya
|
leTs Be realisTic heRe...meN and WomeN,due To tHeir naturaL curiOsiTy deciDe tO do it or maY be foR onE reasoN or ThE othEr a mistaKe resulTs to a BabY..theN lateR theSe two realiSe thaT theY jusT canT make iT,so theY parT waYs and thE lady is LefT to brinG uP the Kid...iF anothEr duDe falLs in Love wiTh the LaDy woulD the kiD be tHe firSt decisioN To consideR reallY..bearinG in MinD thaT thE kiD will leave tHe two in lateR yeaRs...i donT thiNk so. Wisdom brightens a man's face and changes its hard appearance.Eccle 8:1 Think the unthinkable but wear a dark suit
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 7/6/2009 Posts: 40
|
@Njung'e ...yeah..how many dudes can actually stand up for counting????good to challenge the brothers...
@Gogeta...yeah i also think it happens like that sometimes...out of curiosity..a baby shows up..then the couple discovers yenyewe..we r just not meant foe each other...wot to do?the jamaa will easily move on...how bout the chic?should she be denied the opportunity to be in a really happy rship with a jamaa even wit a guy who hasn't fathered before?really?really?
WIN WIN SITUATION
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 3/6/2009 Posts: 172
|
the topic and some of the answers belong to 1971.....Ladies,if you find a man who cannot look at your kids without thinking of the other guy,or asking for a dna test,that is as insecure a man as you will ever find.....Bure kabisa and he's probably dogging you and the guilt is killing him......Every case is different and men forget that after having a child,the woman is more worried about the 'ka-man' than the other way round......I know of ladies who use this scenario to weed out the useless,insecure men who are looking for TRS's 'virgin land to plough'...haha
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 12/4/2008 Posts: 341 Location: Nairobi
|
My take on this one is simple.Should you find yourself in a situation whereby the object of your affection is a single parent and you are having a struggle whether to marry them or not,then you probably do not deserve her. Do you have a clue how much garbage they've heard to deal with thus far? Besides...this is confirmation enough that you are not ready for a responsibility..a key component in marriage. Patience Pays in Guaranteed Checks Patience Pays In Guaranteed Checks.
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 8/8/2008 Posts: 201
|
A good topic.My opinion no matter what,athorough case by case analysis is important.
A good example is that of a lady who has been over & about will men from her childhood and gets a mr.xx who she now needs to settle dowm with in life.Of course such a gal may have all the skills to make sure that she dont get a child .To add salt to the injury,she goes a head and fake virginity or whatever you can call it.So you meet her and you are over the moon.ONE OUT OF A BILLION but in real sence...............If by any chance a dude can come to know this,that will be the end of trust.You feel deceived,ma?
But here is a young gal who happen to have fallen into trap.Personaly i do advise ladies that having a child with some one should not be a reason to force yourself into marriage if by anychance the dude does not love you.Things do happen and sometimes a child is born out of lust and not love.Such a gal should just take care of the baby and with time she will finally meet the man of herlife.I really respect such ladies so much since its not an easy job.
The case differs for a lady with ababy as a result of marriage.Whether its a church wedding or just a traditional marriage and the man is still a live,such should be avoided at all cost but if you dont,please be ready to pay the price.
In a nutshell,take time and learn someone b4 making your decision.A good wife comes from the Lord.Remember a man/lady can be virgin for real but you never know what might happen after marriage.Pray and ask God for direction.
Without Holiness no man shall see God.Dear God,mould me to be a vessel of honour at this End times,to remain Obedient to your Word in all situations.Amen!
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 1/13/2009 Posts: 60
|
@Karuss,i'd say it depends on how old you are....if you are 40 and above go for option 1,the 'case by case' advise,if you are 30 and below,go for option 2,moibutu's advise...If you are neither,then continue dating until you are either one of the two options....Personally,if it were me,i would have my cake and eat it!
May we live in interesting times!
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 7/6/2009 Posts: 40
|
@Nanfor..i honestly don think this topic belongs in the 70's....am sure most guys find the topic interesting...besides,these are issues probably most of us have not had a chance to discuss....so..keep em coming...
@MR.Tea,i agree,someone who keeps so worried bout ur baby may just not be ready for a serious relationship....the earlier the chic juas,...we call it running for the hills?yeah...dat one!
@Ngwono.....well said all the way....Agood man or woman comes from the lord...someone needs to pray
WIN WIN SITUATION
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 7/6/2009 Posts: 40
|
@donedeal...i hear you..does that mean that guys below 30 should never marry someone if have a child they have not fathered??i did not understand ur point quite clearly..
WIN WIN SITUATION
|
|
|
Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/19/2008 Posts: 839
|
sasa wewe utanunua jembe... ili upalilie shamba iliyo na mavuno...??? sa laa leeee..... makuu haya..... what kind of 'standing men'.......are we.....??? i would rather try the unploughed land first... than the tested one..... I'm the real Massey F.....shut your mouth I'm the real Massey Fergu...... Shut your mouth....
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/27/2008 Posts: 3,760
|
No problem,so long as the child is a girl. No way someone else's son will be inheriting my modest wealth.
|
|
|
Wazua
»
Club SK
»
Life
»
Single Women with kids
Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.
|