"A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed."

"@SokoAnalyst: Tanzania has issued a travel advisory against Kenya? That's like a boda telling you not to use a Range rover coz you will be late. Nkt"

One of the funniest things i have ever read

LOL

Am not sure if this was ever here....

..a man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.He asked, “What are all those clocks?” St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”“Oh,” said the man, “whose clock is that?” “That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved,indicating that she never told alie.“Incredible,” said the man. “That’s The pope's clock. The hands have moved twice,telling us that he told only two lies in his entire life,” St. Peter informed him. “Where’s Ole Lenku's clock?” “His clock is in Jesus’s office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan." Peter answered

An officer was asked if he can ever forgive the attackers, he said "forgiveness is for God, mine is to arrange their meeting".

Not all men are players.Some are managers and coaches.

Johnny a 7 year old boy was sitted in a bus eating chocolate, he took another one and the man next to him said, "Do u know that eating chocolate can damage ur teeth?" Johnny replied "My grandfather lived for 100 years. "The man asked "Was it becoz of eating chocolates?" Johnny said "No, because he was always minding his own business!!"