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Just for laughs...corner
Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,325 Location: Masada
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washiku wrote:Bosco: I think I have a problem with my eyes Boss
Boss: Sorry for that. Whats up?
Bosco: I cant SEE myself coming to work tomorrow. Portfolio: Sold You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/1/2010 Posts: 3,024 Location: Hapa
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kuna watu blood group yao ni R(hesus)AO positive Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Aliđ
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/8/2011 Posts: 482 Location: Nairobi
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danas10 wrote:why you should never date an economist... 1. Economists may be dangerous. Watch out for the invisible hands! 2. It wonât matter what you supply, they will always demand more. 3. They consider selfish behavior the most natural thing in the world. 4. They prefer doing it with models and dummies. 5. Economists habitually deflate everything. 6. They like their love lives like they like their markets: free and open. 7. On average they are pretty mean. 8. And definitely too trendy. 9. They will never be happy with you as you are, they will always want you to grow. 10. They require a lot of stimulus in order to expand. 11. They will spend their lives trying to predict your behavior. 12. They consider you perfectly substitutable. 13. Theyâll only like you if you have plenty of elasticity. 14. They will always think that there is an acceptable level of unemployment. 15. As soon as you are happy in the relationship theyâll burst your bubble. 16. Theyâll only be into you if you have plenty of boom and bust. 17. Theyâll never say âI Love youâ only that âYou optimise my utilityâ. 18. They will rate your kidsâ advancement into a Human Development Index. 19. They will establish very clear household property rights to avoid the tragedy of the commons. 20. If you ever get depressed, theyâll lower their interest rate to zero. 21. They might collect a stratified household survey of family and friends, run regression and cluster analyses and check for heteroskedasticity before deciding to commit to you. (On the plus side you might get to see what your love looks like as a formula). Source: Stolen via Jodi Beggs - Economists Do It With Models....21 reasons not to date an Economist
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/8/2011 Posts: 482 Location: Nairobi
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/14/2009 Posts: 2,057
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"Girls, if ur Boyfriend hurts U, look for his father, and Marry him. Make the bastard Ur step SON!" If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2012 Posts: 3,855 Location: Othumo
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vinii wrote:"Girls, if ur Boyfriend hurts U, look for his father, and Marry him. Make the bastard Ur step SON!" Thieves
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Ctrl V, ctrl P. Steve The Assistant.... A Bemba doctor wanted to go hunting; he calls his assistant Steve and tells him... Ya Steve , I am going hunting tomorrow, we don't want to close the Clinic, I ask you to take care of our patients. Yes, sir......answers Steve. The doctor goes hunting and returns the next day and asks: So Steve, how was your day? PA tells him he took care of 3 patients. The first one had a headache and I gave him TYLENOL. Bravo Steve, and the second one? The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX,sir. Bravo ya Steve you're good at this, and the third one? Sir, I was seated, suddenly the door opens and a woman enters like a ''flame'' and undresses herself, taking off her bra, 'NICE BIG ONES SIR' and then takes off her panties 'YA ALLAHHHH'.....then she jumps and sleeps on the table and shouts 'HELP ME. Since 5 years I have not seen any man!!!!!!' And what did you do Steve? I put eye drops in her eyes sir!!!! Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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Rankaz13 wrote:Ctrl V, ctrl P.
Steve The Assistant....
A Bemba doctor wanted to go hunting; he calls his assistant Steve and tells him... Ya Steve , I am going hunting tomorrow, we don't want to close the Clinic, I ask you to take care of our patients.
Yes, sir......answers Steve.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the next day and asks:
So Steve, how was your day?
PA tells him he took care of 3 patients.
The first one had a headache and I gave him TYLENOL.
Bravo Steve, and the second one?
The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX,sir.
Bravo ya Steve you're good at this, and the third one?
Sir, I was seated, suddenly the door opens and a woman enters like a ''flame'' and undresses herself, taking off her bra, 'NICE BIG ONES SIR' and then takes off her panties 'YA ALLAHHHH'.....then she jumps and sleeps on the table and shouts 'HELP ME. Since 5 years I have not seen any man!!!!!!'
And what did you do Steve?
I put eye drops in her eyes sir!!!!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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Two Kamba men, Kimondio and Mutiso were invited for tea by two Luo ladies. When the tea was brought to the table, Kimondio tried to tear the tea bag to get to the tea leaves. Mutiso couldn't stand the embarrassment. He intercepted and said let's pray. MUTISO: "Heavenly Father,we thank you for this tea. Kimondio, Ngai wa matuni, kasamu kau kekiawa kyaini na mathangu ekana na utumanu mwanoo....eteela wone undu ngwika. Amen"
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/14/2009 Posts: 2,057
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"WhatsApp Last seen = 1min ago. Twitter Last tweet = 4min ago. BBM Last message = 5min ago. HOLY BIBLE,last opened=31th march. God is Watching you"! If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/14/2009 Posts: 2,057
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*Dude suddenly stops moving during Sex* Chick: What is it?.. Dude: Shhh it's ok, I have seen this on Porn Hub, it's called Buffering" If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/21/2011 Posts: 1,010
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/14/2009 Posts: 2,057
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"HUSBAND: U told me several men proposed marriage to u.. WIFE: Yes.. HUSBAND: I wish u had married the 1st fool who proposed.. WIFE: I did" If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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vinii wrote:"HUSBAND: U told me several men proposed marriage to u.. WIFE: Yes.. HUSBAND: I wish u had married the 1st fool who proposed.. WIFE: I did"
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/14/2009 Posts: 2,057
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GetIT411: KNEC says intelligence reports show there are plans in Nyanza, Mombasa and Garissa to cheat in upcoming national exams. www.capitalfm.co.keIf you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/17/2007 Posts: 1,345
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C & P
'A patient broke wind while having surgery and set fire to his genitals. The 30-year-old man was having a mole removed from his bottom with an electric knife when his attack of flatulence was ignited by a spark. His genitals, which were soaked in surgical spirits, caught fire. The man, who is suing the hospital, said: "When I woke up, my penis and scrotum were burning like hell, Besides the pain, I can't have sex with my wife.' Surgeons at the hospital in Merthyr said: 'It was an unfortunate accident' - We're unsure of the origin, this came to us via Twitter.
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Quote:Emmy Kosgei with her short hair gets married to a Billionaire..... Margaret Kenyatta with her short hair married to President Uhuru Kenyatta.. Wewe baki hapo na "weave" zako utaolewa na FARASI..
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Rank: Member Joined: 9/30/2013 Posts: 659
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