Wazua
»
Club SK
»
Culture
»
Just for laughs...corner
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
|
After perusing the CV during an interview, the human resources person asked the young accountants fresh from UON, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The accountant said, “Around of Ksh. 500,000 a month, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a five-week vacation in Maasai Mara, a house in Muthaiga, full medical and dental insurance cover, company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a Range Rover Sport?” The young accountant sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
|
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
|
AN AMERICAN, JAPANESE, and a LUOPEAN were sitting NAKED in the SAUNA. Suddenly there is a beeping sound.... The American presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly."That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”... A few minutes later a phone rings.The Japanese lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.” The Luopean, feeling decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, decided he had to do something just as impressive. He steps out of the sauna and goes to the toilet. He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and said ... "Wow! What's that?”...The Luo replied, "I'm receiving a Fax," ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2012 Posts: 3,855 Location: Othumo
|
COMMERCIAL BREAK **************** 1. Ukiona mtoto anatumwa na harudishi change. Huyo atakuwa Makanga. Just encourage him. 2.Ukiona mtoto anaitwa na haitiki,huyo atakuwa waiter, just encourage him 3.Ukiona mtoto kila saa ni Kisirani, huyu atakuwa Kanjo just encourage him. 4.Ukiona mtoto ana slap tutoto tudem twa mtaani huyo atakuwa Governer wa Nairobi waschana wa Nairobi wana panganga just encourage him.! 5. Ukiona mtoto analialia ovyo ovyo just encourage him he will become a deputy president. 6. Ukiona mtoto ............... Harafu? (Alama ya dukuduku) Thieves
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 6/21/2008 Posts: 2,490
|
washiku wrote:After perusing the CV during an interview, the human resources person asked the young accountants fresh from UON, “And what starting salary are you looking for?”
The accountant said, “Around of Ksh. 500,000 a month, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a five-week vacation in Maasai Mara, a house in Muthaiga, full medical and dental insurance cover, company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a Range Rover Sport?”
The young accountant sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.” The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem
|
|
|
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
|
|
|
|
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
|
LUOPEAN SENSATION A Luo guy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive lady. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The lady notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies,”I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it..” The intrigued lady says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What”s so special about it?” The guy explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.” The lady says, “What”s it telling you now?” Well, it says you”re not wearing any panties.” The woman giggles and replies “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!” The Luo guy smiles, taps his watch and says, “This damn thing is one hour ahead.”
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 11/8/2011 Posts: 482 Location: Nairobi
|
washiku wrote:LUOPEAN SENSATION
A Luo guy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive lady. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The lady notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies,”I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it..” The intrigued lady says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What”s so special about it?” The guy explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.” The lady says, “What”s it telling you now?” Well, it says you”re not wearing any panties.” The woman giggles and replies “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!” The Luo guy smiles, taps his watch and says, “This damn thing is one hour ahead.”
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 10/14/2009 Posts: 2,057
|
"@Mato_oneal: I love the way Lindah Oguttu looks at me, smiles & asks for a commercial break weneva I stand infront of my TV naked”" If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/1/2010 Posts: 3,024 Location: Hapa
|
everlasting wrote: C&P
APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER FILL THE FORM IN OWN HAND WRITTING AND INBLOCK LETTERS I _______________hereby apply to marry your daughter Sir I am _____ years old Please answer the following questions honestly 1. Do you go to church? Yes/No 2. Do you have a degree or diploma? Yes/No 3. Are you still a virgin? Yes/No 4. Are you working? Yes/No 5. Do you have a car? Yes/No If your answer to any of the above questions was NO Do not continue. Leave my house and don't look back If all your answers were YES, Then continue 1. In 50 words or more, Describe the disadvantages of cheating in marriage ____________________ ____________________ 2. With the aid of a diagram, Explain how you can give respect to your father in-law-mother in-law 3. Suppose your wife says "Honey I need money for my hair-style at the saloon", what would you answer? ____________________ ____________________ 4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce________ __________________________ 5. What does the term 'good husband' mean to you? ____________________________________ 6. Do you have both dad and mum? Yes/No If No explain why? 7.Were your parents legally married? Yes/No If YES for how long? If the time of their marriage is less than your age, Explain why you were born out of wedlock 8. Explain the meaning of ''COME HOME EARLY" As used by women (100 words) 9. Give any THREE reasons that can cause a man to sleep outside his house 10. In case of divorce, Who do you think is theowner of the kids between father and mother? Answer the following by Yes or No 1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No 2. Do you smoke? Yes/No 3. Are you short-tempered? Yes/No LAST PART - BUT EQUALLY IMPORTANT 1. When can you be free for interviews?____ ________________ 2. When is the best time to interview your dad? ____________________ 3. When can I interview your mum?___________ _________ 4. When can I interview your church pastor 5. Please stick your passport size photo below Which will be put in newspaper to check if you have other girlfriends Sign here: ___________ Sign again: __________ Thank you for showing interest in my daughter Your application will be processed in 4years time. You will be acknowledged only if you emerge successful As you are waiting Please don't call me Don't visit me Don't contact my daughter If u do you will be disqualified Leave your details in case I need to ask you more questions Postal Address: ______________________ Email: ______________________ Phone: ______________________ Facebook: ______________________
walisahau twirra account Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
|
|
|
Wazua
»
Club SK
»
Culture
»
Just for laughs...corner
Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.
|