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Just for laughs...corner
washiku
#1721 Posted : Saturday, September 07, 2013 11:43:37 AM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
After perusing the CV during an interview, the human resources person asked the young accountants fresh from UON, “And what starting salary are you looking for?”

The accountant said, “Around of Ksh. 500,000 a month, depending on the benefits package.”

The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a five-week vacation in Maasai Mara, a house in Muthaiga, full medical and dental insurance cover, company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a Range Rover Sport?”

The young accountant sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
The interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”
Magigi
#1722 Posted : Sunday, September 08, 2013 3:25:50 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/31/2008
Posts: 7,081
Location: Kenya
McReggae
#1723 Posted : Friday, September 13, 2013 12:44:10 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
AN AMERICAN, JAPANESE, and a LUOPEAN were sitting NAKED in the SAUNA.

Suddenly there is a beeping sound....
The American presses his forearm and the beeping stops.

The others look at him questioningly."That's my pager," he says. "I have a
microchip under the skin of my arm.”...

A few minutes later a phone rings.The Japanese lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains,
"That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.”

The Luopean, feeling decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, decided he
had to do something just as
impressive.

He steps out of the sauna and goes to the toilet.
He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt.

The others raised their eyebrows and said ... "Wow! What's that?”...The Luo replied, "I'm receiving a Fax,"
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
King G
#1724 Posted : Friday, September 13, 2013 12:47:31 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/20/2012
Posts: 3,855
Location: Othumo
COMMERCIAL BREAK
****************
1. Ukiona mtoto anatumwa na harudishi change.
Huyo atakuwa Makanga. Just encourage him.
2.Ukiona mtoto anaitwa na haitiki,huyo atakuwa
waiter, just encourage him
3.Ukiona mtoto kila saa ni Kisirani, huyu atakuwa Kanjo just encourage him.
4.Ukiona mtoto ana slap tutoto tudem twa mtaani
huyo atakuwa Governer wa Nairobi waschana wa Nairobi wana panganga
just encourage him.!
5. Ukiona mtoto analialia ovyo ovyo just encourage him he will become a deputy president.
6. Ukiona mtoto ............... Harafu? (Alama ya dukuduku)

Thieves
ZZE123
#1725 Posted : Friday, September 13, 2013 12:55:35 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/21/2008
Posts: 2,490
washiku wrote:
After perusing the CV during an interview, the human resources person asked the young accountants fresh from UON, “And what starting salary are you looking for?”

The accountant said, “Around of Ksh. 500,000 a month, depending on the benefits package.”

The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a five-week vacation in Maasai Mara, a house in Muthaiga, full medical and dental insurance cover, company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a Range Rover Sport?”

The young accountant sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
The interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”

Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem
washiku
#1726 Posted : Friday, September 13, 2013 1:01:19 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
McReggae wrote:
AN AMERICAN, JAPANESE, and a LUOPEAN were sitting NAKED in the SAUNA.

Suddenly there is a beeping sound....
The American presses his forearm and the beeping stops.

The others look at him questioningly."That's my pager," he says. "I have a
microchip under the skin of my arm.”...

A few minutes later a phone rings.The Japanese lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains,
"That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.”

The Luopean, feeling decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, decided he
had to do something just as
impressive.

He steps out of the sauna and goes to the toilet.
He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt.

The others raised their eyebrows and said ... "Wow! What's that?”...The Luo replied, "I'm receiving a Fax,"


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Applause Applause
washiku
#1727 Posted : Monday, September 16, 2013 1:50:28 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
LUOPEAN SENSATION

A Luo guy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a
very attractive lady.
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his
watch for a moment.
The lady notices this and asks, “Is your date running
late?” “No”, he replies,”I just got this state-of the-art watch,
and I was just testing it..”
The intrigued lady says, “A state-of-the-art watch?
What”s so special about it?”
The guy explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me
telepathically.” The lady says, “What”s it telling you now?”
Well, it says you”re not wearing any panties.”
The woman giggles and replies “Well it must be
broken because I am wearing panties!”
The Luo guy smiles, taps his watch and says, “This
damn thing is one hour ahead.”
Manyala
#1728 Posted : Monday, September 16, 2013 2:18:04 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 11/8/2011
Posts: 482
Location: Nairobi
washiku wrote:
LUOPEAN SENSATION

A Luo guy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a
very attractive lady.
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his
watch for a moment.
The lady notices this and asks, “Is your date running
late?” “No”, he replies,”I just got this state-of the-art watch,
and I was just testing it..”
The intrigued lady says, “A state-of-the-art watch?
What”s so special about it?”
The guy explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me
telepathically.” The lady says, “What”s it telling you now?”
Well, it says you”re not wearing any panties.”
The woman giggles and replies “Well it must be
broken because I am wearing panties!”
The Luo guy smiles, taps his watch and says, “This
damn thing is one hour ahead.”


Laughing out loudly Applause
vinii
#1729 Posted : Monday, September 16, 2013 10:21:34 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/14/2009
Posts: 2,057
"@Mato_oneal: I love the way Lindah Oguttu looks at me, smiles & asks for a commercial break weneva I stand infront of my TV naked”"
If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
butterflyke
#1730 Posted : Tuesday, September 17, 2013 6:40:52 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/1/2010
Posts: 3,024
Location: Hapa
everlasting wrote:

C&P

APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER FILL
THE FORM IN OWN HAND WRITTING AND INBLOCK
LETTERS
I _______________hereby apply to marry your
daughter Sir
I am _____ years old Please answer the following questions honestly
1. Do you go to church?
Yes/No
2. Do you have a degree or diploma?
Yes/No
3. Are you still a virgin? Yes/No
4. Are you working?
Yes/No
5. Do you have a car?
Yes/No
If your answer to any of the above questions was NO
Do not continue. Leave my house and don't look
back
If all your answers were YES, Then continue
1. In 50 words or more, Describe the
disadvantages of cheating in marriage ____________________ ____________________
2. With the aid of a diagram, Explain how you can
give respect to your father in-law-mother in-law
3. Suppose your wife says "Honey I need money
for my hair-style at the saloon", what would you
answer? ____________________ ____________________ 4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce________
__________________________
5. What does the term 'good husband' mean to
you? ____________________________________
6. Do you have both dad and mum?
Yes/No If No explain why?
7.Were your parents legally married?
Yes/No
If YES for how long?
If the time of their marriage is less than your age,
Explain why you were born out of wedlock 8. Explain the meaning of ''COME HOME EARLY" As
used by women (100 words)
9. Give any THREE reasons that can cause a man to
sleep outside his house
10. In case of divorce, Who do you think is
theowner of the kids between father and mother? Answer the following by Yes or No
1. Do you drink alcohol?
Yes/No
2. Do you smoke?
Yes/No
3. Are you short-tempered? Yes/No
LAST PART - BUT EQUALLY IMPORTANT
1. When can you be free for interviews?____
________________
2. When is the best time to interview your dad?
____________________ 3. When can I interview your mum?___________
_________
4. When can I interview your church pastor
5. Please stick your passport size photo below
Which will be put in newspaper to check if you
have other girlfriends Sign here: ___________
Sign again: __________
Thank you for showing interest in my daughter
Your application will be processed in 4years time.
You will be acknowledged only if you emerge
successful As you are waiting
Please don't call me
Don't visit me
Don't contact my daughter
If u do you will be disqualified
Leave your details in case I need to ask you more questions
Postal Address: ______________________
Email: ______________________
Phone: ______________________
Facebook: ______________________


walisahau twirra account smile
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
294 Pages«<171172173174175>»
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