hi.new to the site.have an issue i need some advice.hav been married for 3 years with a 2yr old son.lovely boy.bibi ndio shida.she puts her relatives ahead of me and always wants to spend time at her parents in nakuru.she even wanted her sister to accompany us to the damn honeymoon!i have,with time,come to know my position in this so salled marriage and resolved to be a great father and a husband by my mere presence.i stay out late drinkin and even have affairs with other women.it amazes me how i do these things and don't feel a thing about it.i wish my son had a different mother.i don't want a separation or divorce for the sake of junior.i don't love her anymore,if i ever did.am of to the pub.what would u do?ps,we got married coz she got pregnant

yeah.u hav no idea how miserable i am.damn!

pole,many are going through similar situation,the most important thing is for you to pursue happines,if the wife is an hindrance to this then let it go,get another one

how many of u have had affairs like our friend pavlov?i personally can count the handfull of married men who are faithful in this city in the sun;even goin to brothels and whores.what don't women/wives give or not give to their men to dive them to do such things?

u know mariage in an african/kikuyu setting is more than a union between man n woman.it also involves extended families,the church,society.it's not that easy to just get a divorce as much as i may want.in fact people will think i hav gone mad.and i get along very well with my in laws and nodody suspects we have a lousy marriage or my infidelity.children r truly a blessing and my son helps with the misery coz he is the source of my happiness,pamoja na pombe!he cushions the bad feelings and tension in the house (not home).by the way,we have sex about 3 to 4 times a month,purely for therapeutic purposes.even the doggin is more for companionship than sex

pole sana boss. you sound learned enough. why havent you considered seeking professional help from a qualified marriage counsellor? 2. quit drinking 'to reduce stress ya home'....for soon you shall be drinking to 'reduce stress ya DRINKING ......all on account of your wife. dude,you will self destruct. pombe has brought down so many homes....its the silent killer of many kenyan families. am sure everyone on SK knows a family that was brought down na hio pombe. 3,if you and wifey cant resolve issues,and seeing a counsellor/parents/church/best man and best woman cant resolve your issues,its best you just consider divorce. in the long run the interests of the kid are best served when you and wifey are happy...whether together or living apart ... you can come up with an arrangement whereby one of you lives with the kid,and the other party can visit. note even we men are perfectly capable and able to bring up good kids.

He who laughs last thinks slowest..

@pavlov.... might work...... I dint write them,someone thought they might be useful.....

Here are true marriage advice tips will help you answer that very question! These secrets to a happy marriage come straight from the horse's mouth those who are happily married!
1. Never assume.
2. Compliment more than you criticize.
3. For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends,tell three positive stories.
4. Remember that it is ok to do things differently (e.g. there is more than one way to peel a potato or fold the laundry).
5. Always make time for the two of you.
6. Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
7. Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.
8. Remember that the best gift that you can give your children is to love their mother/father.
9. Be fair! Split the housework,spending money,etc evenly. This way you are never resentful of your partners contributions (or lack of) or expenditures.
10. Never go to bed angry. (Unless it's 3a.m. and you're exhausted,angry,and not thinking straight.)
11. Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters.
12. Before starting an argument,consider if it's really worth it.
13. Fight naked. ;)
14. Agree to disagree.
15. Never,ever mention the 'D' word (divorce).
16. Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?
17. Respect each other's privacy.
18. Remember that 'love is like childhood. You need to learn to share.'
19. Marriage is not 50/50,it's two people giving 100/100 all of the time.
20. Surprise each other now and then.
21. The secret to a happy marriage is two TV's!
22. Have date night!
23. Never pass up an opportunity to say 'I love you'.
24. Hold hands.
25. Hug & kiss every day (several times a day actually!).
26. Always believe that you got better than you deserved.
27. Be quick to say 'I'm sorry'.
28. Choose the one you love,then love the one you choose.
29. Keep the in-laws out of your marriage!
30. Love isn't always a feeling,it's a decision.
31. Hang in there. It's worth it.
32. Play nice,play often,love much.
33. Never air your dirty laundry as a couple in public.
34. Never keep secrets from each other.
35. Be each other's champion. No matter what,take your husband or wife's side first!
36. Communication is the key!
37. Always respect each other.
38. Never underestimate the power of a good belly-laugh and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
39. It's the little things that matter most.
40. Never use the words 'Always' and 'Never' in a fight.
41. It's ok to argue,but never use curse words to express your anger.
42. Never compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside.
43.Don't make love in the same place/position everytime. Variety is the spice of LIFE

Some deals are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

@ Much Know

That's a bad thought.Controlling behaviour and manipulation does not go far.

tell me .... good people...

is marriage about.... do's and dont's...

or is it about enjoying life.....???

making the most of what we have...???

I'm the real Massey F.....shut your mouth

@pavlon

Pole sana,
I feel you coz ave seen the same scenario with my neighbour.

dont tell me that you live like my neighbour who normally come at nite only for the wife to refuse to open for him.She normally molests the husband infront of all people and the damn man has never slapped the wife.
The wife is a housewife and a lazy idiot who spends the day planning on how she will teach the husband a lesson.
the guy literally sleeps outside...and th damn wife is always to the mother on weekends getting some more advise.

Before marriage people should look out for these prospective mother inlaws who approaches you with fake smiles,people who are doing things in exceeding ahould be suspicious.

Never and I mean Never marry a lady who hates her father whatsoever.
Never and I repeat,you shall never marry a lady who seeks advices from her mother.

ALL THESE THINGS YOU CAN SEE THEM BEFORE SETTLING DOWN UNLESS YOU ARE BLINDFOLDED TO SEE THE GOOD SWAPPING BOTTOMS IN EXPENSE OF THE BRAIN.

DO NOT MARRY IN A HURRY COZ OF SUGARCANE YOU MAY END IN HASTE