Yeah,right.

EFFECTS OF CHINA PHONES!!!

Girl: Hi Baby ..

Boy: Hi My lovely .. (Sending failed)

Girl : Are you there?

Boy: Yes Yes im here (sending failed)

Girl: Are you ignoring me or what!!!

Boy: Honey im not... I'm righ here...
(Sending failed)

Girl: It's over; dont you ever talk to me
again!

Boy: Damn! You can go to hell !!!
( Message sent )

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It happened that the equipment arrived when his wife was away. So he decided to test it on himself first.
He inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on, and voila, everything else was automatic! He really had a good time as the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. However, when the fun was over, he found that he could not take the instrument off. He read the manual, but did not find any useful information.
He tried every button on the instrument - some made the equipment squeeze, shake, or suck harder or less - but still he had no success getting out of it. Panicking, he just barely reached the phone and called the supplier's customer service hotline.
The farmer: "Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It worked fantastic. But how can I take it off from the cow's udder?"
Customer Service: "Don't worry. The machine was programmed to release automatically after collecting about 2 gallons of milk."

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.

She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"

"Well teacher, I just saw your petticoat."

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly

there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?"

"Well miss, I just saw part of your panties."

Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe,"I don't want to see you for three weeks."

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter

from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving

the classroom.

"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.

"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over!"

Signboard outside Heaven:

"Lying naked with somebody in bed and screaming Oh God...Oh God.... will not be considered as prayers"

📋 Signboard outside a Prayer Hall:

" Please Do Not Leave Your Bags, Wallets, Cell Phones Unattended.. Others Might Think Those Are The Answers To Their Prayers."

📋 Signboard outside a prostitute's house..

" Married MEN are not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy.."

📋 SignBoard outside GARAGE:

"If we can't repair your brakes we make your horns louder.."

📋 Signboard outside A Bar:

" Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance "

📋 Signboard outside Driving School:

" If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way....."

📋 Signboard outside Library:

"Statutory Warning... While reading Kamasutra, please hold the book with BOTH Hands.."

C&P

APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER FILL
THE FORM IN OWN HAND WRITTING AND INBLOCK
LETTERS
I _______________hereby apply to marry your
daughter Sir
I am _____ years old Please answer the following questions honestly
1. Do you go to church?
Yes/No
2. Do you have a degree or diploma?
Yes/No
3. Are you still a virgin? Yes/No
4. Are you working?
Yes/No
5. Do you have a car?
Yes/No
If your answer to any of the above questions was NO
Do not continue. Leave my house and don't look
back
If all your answers were YES, Then continue
1. In 50 words or more, Describe the
disadvantages of cheating in marriage ____________________ ____________________
2. With the aid of a diagram, Explain how you can
give respect to your father in-law-mother in-law
3. Suppose your wife says "Honey I need money
for my hair-style at the saloon", what would you
answer? ____________________ ____________________ 4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce________
__________________________
5. What does the term 'good husband' mean to
you? ____________________________________
6. Do you have both dad and mum?
Yes/No If No explain why?
7.Were your parents legally married?
Yes/No
If YES for how long?
If the time of their marriage is less than your age,
Explain why you were born out of wedlock 8. Explain the meaning of ''COME HOME EARLY" As
used by women (100 words)
9. Give any THREE reasons that can cause a man to
sleep outside his house
10. In case of divorce, Who do you think is
theowner of the kids between father and mother? Answer the following by Yes or No
1. Do you drink alcohol?
Yes/No
2. Do you smoke?
Yes/No
3. Are you short-tempered? Yes/No
LAST PART - BUT EQUALLY IMPORTANT
1. When can you be free for interviews?____
________________
2. When is the best time to interview your dad?
____________________ 3. When can I interview your mum?___________
_________
4. When can I interview your church pastor
5. Please stick your passport size photo below
Which will be put in newspaper to check if you
have other girlfriends Sign here: ___________
Sign again: __________
Thank you for showing interest in my daughter
Your application will be processed in 4years time.
You will be acknowledged only if you emerge
successful As you are waiting
Please don't call me
Don't visit me
Don't contact my daughter
If u do you will be disqualified
Leave your details in case I need to ask you more questions
Postal Address: ______________________
Email: ______________________
Phone: ______________________
Facebook: ______________________