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Weddings: The newest form of exploitation
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Impunity
#81 Posted : Tuesday, December 20, 2011 7:15:58 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,328
Location: Masada
bwenyenye wrote:
My two pence on why weddings are unnecessarily expensive.

Men live beyond their means to impress women. Women live beyond their means to impress other women.

You agree with your fiance that your wedding will cost 300K. And she is good with it. Then she meets her friends and tells them that she is about to get married....boy, your chic comes home and shrieks every time you mention a 500K wedding. She wants a 1M wedding..( Someone posted on another thread 'when two women talk, the devil sita aside and listens and learns..)


So the sole purpose its appears of doing a wedding is to impress the weaker sex?
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harrydre
#82 Posted : Wednesday, December 28, 2011 8:12:12 PM
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Joined: 7/10/2008
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Drunkard
#83 Posted : Wednesday, December 28, 2011 8:35:16 PM
Rank: User


Joined: 5/3/2011
Posts: 559
For kenyans in Diaspora it is even bad, one day another guy called me and ask me to be part of his wedding committee and my first question was, Are you marrying another wife? the reason I asked so is because my understanding was they were married since they'd live together for like 10yrs and they had three kids. The dude decided that since they didn't have a wedding in Kenya, they wanted to travel to Kenya and have a wedding.... I never attended any meeting! Alot of harambee go on everyday in diaspora, if you cuzo from your sister inlaw, step brother's antie from another marriage dies people call for harambees!
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Lolest!
#84 Posted : Wednesday, December 28, 2011 11:22:47 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
harrydre wrote:
and if u thought Kenya is bad, check this out
http://www.nation.co.ke/blogs/Great+wedding+cons/-/445642/1296618/-/view/asBlogPost/-/7yyfaaz/-/index.html

Ugandans care too much for image!
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
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harrydre
#85 Posted : Saturday, March 03, 2012 12:51:07 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/10/2008
Posts: 9,131
Location: Kanjo
i thought this piece fits here

Till fitina does us apart
i.am.back!!!!
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pariah
#86 Posted : Saturday, March 03, 2012 3:16:06 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 11/24/2011
Posts: 833
Drunkard wrote:
For kenyans in Diaspora it is even bad, one day another guy called me and ask me to be part of his wedding committee and my first question was, Are you marrying another wife? the reason I asked so is because my understanding was they were married since they'd live together for like 10yrs and they had three kids. The dude decided that since they didn't have a wedding in Kenya, they wanted to travel to Kenya and have a wedding.... I never attended any meeting! Alot of harambee go on everyday in diaspora, if you cuzo from your sister inlaw, step brother's antie from another marriage dies people call for harambees!


first time ever i agree with drunkard, these are unnecessary michangos
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butterflyke
#87 Posted : Sunday, July 14, 2013 7:45:59 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/1/2010
Posts: 3,024
Location: Hapa
Anne Kansiime's take on expensive weddings

Laughing out loudly
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
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2012
#88 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 8:17:15 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 6,592
Location: Nairobi
kelele.com wrote:
some months ago I attended a "Goat eating" fundraiser for a colleague to raise money to pay his dowry. Now the wedding preparations are underway, and I am needed in the wedding commitee " so that I and others can pledge what to give towards the wedding, on the wedding day am expected to give a present to the newly married......haiyaiyaiyae, things are getting out of hand, we fund you dowry, we fund ya wedding then we stock your new matrimonial house!!!! Nonsense, I will never sit in a wedding committee. People should learn to fund themselves or conduct simple weddings, like I did, mine didn't even cost 90k!!


Why didn't you say "no thank you?"
The problem with us Kenyans is we feel hard pressed to be honest with ourselves. At least the guy had a plan, did you tell him it was a bad idea or you nodded at the moment and went to tell the other story behind his back?

BBI will solve it :)
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washiku
#89 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 12:32:15 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
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carygoh
#90 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 2:00:26 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/4/2008
Posts: 1,703
YesuWangu wrote:
I have just been invited by sms, by a cousin to contribute some money (3,000) for her wedding. I am not even in the committee. I never knew she even had a man friend.

Maybe if I maintain silence she just will go away.

Honestly I don't have time for these feel-good one-day ventures.



Think Positive Test Negative
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Forester
#91 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 2:34:49 PM
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Joined: 12/7/2010
Posts: 520
Location: Epicentre - Ngamia 1
While at it, what is reasonable dowry to pay for a Meru chic according to their traditions? I know of a guy who's been asked for over 0.5M. Ata kama dowry haishangi...seriously?!!!
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs - Farrah Gray.
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youcan'tstopusnow
#92 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 3:44:41 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 6,779
Location: Black Africa
freiks wrote:
MaichBlack wrote:
Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause

Especially spendthrift!

Some even have the nerve to invite "friends" and committee members for a thanks giving "goat eating" a couple of weeks after the wedding only for them to get there and realize you need to buy an overpriced "flower" which is basically entry fee. You get in and realize the "goat eating party" doesn't even have a goat Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly .

Reminds me of a guy i met at Club Betty's one evening watching chelsea -arsenal game, even before the game started he was tipsy as we discussed what we expect from the game. I had audacity of asking why he started drinking so early even before Drogba tested Jens on the posts. The guy told me he went for a birthday party for a friends kid and decided to buy a Fire Engine toy as gift, when he reached the place to enter you buy a white handkerchief at 250kshs, then when he gave the gift he was told that the truck needs fuel, he gave 500ksh but was told that fuel to go to the field but not to return so he parted with a K. After that he got an imaginary call excused himself and made it to betty's in time, interestingly the guy he left at the party called him to say that the guys are requesting for the spare tire for the truck, the guy just cut off the phone wrote a message to his dude and said meet me at betty's when you are through and switched off the phone

Wewe wachaLaughing out loudlyLaughing out loudlyLaughing out loudlyLaughing out loudlyLaughing out loudly
GOD BLESS YOUR LIFE
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youcan'tstopusnow
#93 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 3:48:15 PM
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Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 6,779
Location: Black Africa
Tebes wrote:
kingfisher wrote:
nowadays i only appear on the wedding day to eat 'nchenga' and a present of a thermos flask. Ukikataa thermos shauri yako. maneno ya committe siwesmek

Laughing out loudly Applause Applause Applause

I like that


Thermos iko sawa kabisa!smile
GOD BLESS YOUR LIFE
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Lolest!
#94 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 7:52:54 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
Forester wrote:
While at it, what is reasonable dowry to pay for a Meru chic according to their traditions? I know of a guy who's been asked for over 0.5M. Ata kama dowry haishangi...seriously?!!!

outdated custom
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
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newfarer
#95 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 8:12:20 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/19/2010
Posts: 3,504
Location: Uganda
youcan'tstopusnow wrote:
Tebes wrote:
kingfisher wrote:
nowadays i only appear on the wedding day to eat 'nchenga' and a present of a thermos flask. Ukikataa thermos shauri yako. maneno ya committe siwesmek

Laughing out loudly Applause Applause Applause

I like that


Thermos iko sawa kabisa!smile

you gave me an idea at the right time. a friend has invited me to join a committee for his 800000 budget wedding. I will fake busy work schedule halafu Thermos for his wedding ni sawa.nitaifuga kama kitu ya maana no name tag just to maintain the 'friendship'.why spend so much on a wedding yet you are living in a rented house?
si u buy an eight in Nairobi suburbs
punda amecheka
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Rankaz13
#96 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 8:17:09 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
Forester wrote:
While at it, what is reasonable dowry to pay for a Meru chic according to their traditions? I know of a guy who's been asked for over 0.5M. Ata kama dowry haishangi...seriously?!!!


For the record, I don't advocate for payment of dowry and I don't intend to. To me, this is just another form of culturally sanctioned extortion.
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Lolest!
#97 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 8:29:03 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
Rankaz13 wrote:
Forester wrote:
While at it, what is reasonable dowry to pay for a Meru chic according to their traditions? I know of a guy who's been asked for over 0.5M. Ata kama dowry haishangi...seriously?!!!


For the record, I don't advocate for payment of dowry and I don't intend to. To me, this is just another form of culturally sanctioned extortion.

pay the extortionists today but don't turn into one when your time as a girl's dad comes. Be the change you want to see.
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
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maka
#98 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 8:36:00 PM
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Joined: 4/22/2010
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Location: Nairobi
Am doing one mid next yr guest list 50 people max 25 from each side dnt come with any gift I already have everything I want...
possunt quia posse videntur
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Lolest!
#99 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 8:43:21 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
na photo session is for what? I find it unnecessary.
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
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CLK
#100 Posted : Wednesday, July 17, 2013 8:46:37 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 4/1/2009
Posts: 846
what i hate most about this is those college friends who have not talked to you since you graduated, then they 'friend' you on facebook, go like 'you are so lost, we need to hook up for coffee' at this coffee date, the bomb shell is dropped, am getting married and i want you to be in my committee, i would prefer this 'am pregnant, and i want you to be my child's godmother/father.
Nowadays i wonder why anyone who ha snot bothered to look for me for the last 10 yrs wants us to meet for coffee or drinks out of the blue.

For women its even worse, you are in the wedding committee, will have to get her a gift for her bridal shower, then a hen's night at the penthouse at Hotel Sankara, then you are one of the maids, spend some money on specific shoes she wants her cousin to bring from UK, a dress that Omondi will stitch but will cost 8k, then a wedding gift, then come the baby, a baby shower, then you go visit the baby with flowers at the hospital and for every subsequent birthday, this one has a happy ending.....
There are those after the wedding who will disappear and 'unfriend' you on facebook, or stop talking to you and when you check, utaambiwa 'you know am married now, so i have to stay home and also hang around married people, my partner thinks single women/men will derail me.

Now i have horror stories abt committees, my friend bought a hse immediately after the honeymoon, i still pay rent . This one made a mistake of showing me a foto of the 248k seats they wanted to buy for their new house,i withdrew my pledge instantly, we do not talk.

Now since the initial cases of being used/conned i say outright i do not do wedding committees, suffice to say very few of those i say NO to send me the actual wedding invitation.

I hope and pray that when the time comes, i will fund my wedding fully together with my other half, else AG or the early morning thing, so help me God...

Better idea, while dating we save for the wedding religiously for one year, get hitched at the AG or in church with maid of honor and best man, then parents. Lunch for everyone and a few speeches. Hope onto a plane go for a honeymoon for a whole month with the savings, why would i want to feed masses that will end up criticizing how they only got Mchele na maharagwe at my wedding???



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