Mabibi na bwana:

We were requested to analyze the cyber wars with a focus on the factors informing the wars (causes) and we have found an answer which may help us solve the issue. We started off with 3 hypotheses which have all been proved correct:



1. There is positive correlation between lack of ngoni and anger management problems

2. That lack of ngono causes anger to build up leading to the cyber wars

3. That those who are happily married or at least enough ngono are less likely to be involved in cyber wars or insult others.

In order to examine whether these hypotheses are true or correct, we took samples from only two forums, PK (progressive Kenyans) and Uchunguzionline and studied the antagonists, the anger problems/wars and the social status (actually marital status or at least their ability to get ngono on a regular basis. We had to use covert and overt methods since the subjects were likely to resist being studied. Today we report our longitudinal study and hope that we can help end the wars. I must admit that we also encouraged independent and dependent variables in order to get data and study them. Here we go.

GROUP 1

The first group consisted of those who fight consistently and are always on a warpath. Those who respond in anger or fight as if the world has come to the end. Those who are likely to go to war over small issues and will use any term or means to fight their perceived enemies. They will not care about hurting other folks feelings. In this group, we came up with two warlords-x and y. We can today authoritatively and without doubt conclude, based on our well researched findings that both of them don’t get ngono, are single and divorced. This can explain why they have the energy to fight and are the leading warlords on these forums. We blame ngono as the main cause of their anger management problems. Get them married and the problem ends there.

Warsama and Maurice Oduor are the main character in this group but we have others under group who can be said to be playing minor roles but are consistently on war path due to ngono scarcity or lack of it. It is not very clear if we should place the rest in this category (severe scarcity of ngono which causes massive or severe anger and warlike activities). We strongly think Warsama and Maurice should be in their own class (First Class Honors) and the following folks in second class honors, upper division). The supporting actors under this group (second class honors upper division) includes but not limited to:

1
2

GROUP TWO

Group two has those who fight seasonally and do fierce fighting when provoked. We have found out that when they are with their spouses (not necessarily wives but could be married), they rarely fight. This group consist of Omwenga and Kibet. The solution is to get them settled in our place with their spouses or at least provide them with consistent ngono and all will be fine. Separate their from their loved ones and you will see cha mtema kuni from them. Other prominent netters under this category includes the following:

1.
2


GROUP 3

This is group of peace and made up of people are rarely provoked. They don’t get into wars even if attacked and they includes Pastor Birai, Kuria wa Mwangi, Ajossy, Nyongesa, Moturi, Abu, Ogendi, Jexx, Tom Oreje, Jay, Mbemba, Mundu, Sadi, Lee, Mike Gichigo, John Gichuru, Sungu, Oduya, Mitawia, OOO, and several other peace loving netters who I cannot name all due to lack of time and space. These are folks who are happily married or have consistent ngono (no interruption at all). They are able to control their anger via ngono and are either peace makers or don’t want to get involved in wars at all. This group also consist of those who are sat on by their spouses so they act nicely and don’t fight back because they are intimidated at home or monitored by their spouses. But the spouses don’t use ngono as a means of disciplining them or punishing them so anger does not build up. The control is done in such a way that the accept it as a norm, don’t question and are well behaved. Actually spouses use ngono bring order, sanity in private and public domains. You deny them ngono and they become angry and join group B or group A1 or A2.



In conclusion, we found a very positive and strong relationship between getting consistent ngono (not necessarily getting married although the latter helps in maintaining the supply of ngono in terms of accessibility and consistency) and reduction of anger. Those getting regular ngono are happier and less likely to get involved in cyber wars. The ngono receivers are the peace makers or will avoid confrontations and anger outbursts. Those who get ngono regularly but occasionally or seasonally don’t get it due to social and biological problems were found to have increased anger, engage in cyber wars and fights during those times but are generally peaceful and less likely to be involved in cyber wars during times when ngono is in abundance. You deny them ngono and we face their wrath on these forums. Those who are denied ngono momentarily return here to fight us and insult us. A good example of this category is my brother in law, Gichaba who fights fierce wars whenever ngono supply is cut short or suspended. We also found out that Warsama and Maurice Oduor are the most starved ngonowise and so happen to be our most consistent warlords. Marry off any of these two or get them a woman willing to supply ngono continuously and these wars will come to an end. Any attempt to stop them from fighting as Abu is trying to do without addressing the ngono need will come to zero. The problem is ngono. Period.

@Mukiri... very true

So can we conclude kuna watu Wazua wamekosa hio kitu?
and it must be worse for those wamekaziwa kama paka ya butcher.. Nyama kwa wingi na panya tu ndo zakko... ive heard of divorce cases where lack of matrimonial obligations was mentioned as a cause of mental anguish and distress..
Ive always associated the chief's barbs to a woman.. warudishiane to each his own...