Now that we're on this topic, I guess it is also important to know the type of downloads we experience...(I think I've ever sent this before,labda hata kwa hio post ya @dunkang)

Ghost Shit
You know you’ve sh**. There’s s*** on the toilet paper,but alas! No s*** in the bowl!

Teflon Coated Shit
Comes out so slick,clean and easy that you don’t feel it. No traces of s*** on the toilet paper,you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey Shit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn’t come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don’t stain it. This s*** leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Shit
You’re all done wiping your ass and you’re about to stand up when you realize it.....you’ve got some more. Normally coincides with the toilet paper running out!

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit
This kind is the kind of s*** that killed Elvis. It doesn’t come until you’re all sweaty,trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Shit
You s*** so much you lose 5 kilos.

Right Now Shit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down. Normally coincides with finding another person in the toilet that you run to. Normally experienced when you go to shit at a latrine during a function in shagz after eating Mutura

King Kong or Commode Choker Shit
This s*** is so big that you know it won’t go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of s*** usually happens at someone else’s house.

Wet Cheeks Shit
This s*** hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.

Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times,but no shit!

Cement Block or Oh God Shit
You wish you’d gotten a spinal block before you shit.

Snake Shit
This s*** is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.


Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)
Even after the third flush, it’s still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This s*** usually happens at someone else’s house.

Indian Food Shit (also called Maharaj Kijeiho Shit)
You’ll know it’s alright to eat again when your ass**** stops burning.

Beer Drunk Shit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your s*** doesn’t smell too bad,but this s*** is BAD. Usually there’s somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of s*** also usually happens at someone else’s house.

The Frightened Turtle
The kind of s*** that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in

The Bungee Shit
The kind of s*** that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Shit
The kind of s*** where you eat really spicy food and your ass**** feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler
The kind of s*** where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down

The Big Bobber
The kind of s*** that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
The kind of s*** that hits you when you’re trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk Shit
The king of s*** that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice its normal size.

The Jack the Ripper Shit
The kind of s*** that yanks out the hair around your ass as it pushes its way out.


The Party Pooper
The giant s*** you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet,you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas Shit
The kind of s*** that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish,and then you wake up in some strange South American town without your kidneys.

Dirty Bowl Shit
The kind of s*** that comes out in a million pieces a second,reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion,and splatters all over the toilet bowl. Normally happens before you sit on the bowl properly (Kiminjithia)

The Windy City Shit
When you sit down,and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a s***

Oh Shit! Shit
You s*** so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!

The Never Ending Shit
It’s the s*** that keeps running out of your ass like pea,and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash,more s*** runs out. This always happens after eating bloody mutura

Ouch That Hurt Shit
The type of s*** that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours

Explain this and where can I get a bottle of this?

wololo! my mind was on files.
k good luck with pooping.

you are at a high risk of developing cancer of the colon. chemicals in bile can cause cancer, hence the need to empty your bowels more frequently

Now that OAR is 'gone', you can see the kind of topics dominating the forum.......

@jguru.........Pse issue a caveat on castor oil...that it is not recommended for those with "buns in the oven"especially from the seventh month as it could trigger early labour.

@Mawinder.....Wazuans are bothered about you because they do not want to loose a family member or visit you in hospital.Its sad to see a loved one in pain.We also need the Gachie security when necessary so we need you around.

About the greens being mentioned, I want to emphsise in spinach and mchicha in your diet.

They will cause the downloading to happen early morning when you wake up so no need to look for Kanjo loos in town and the experience will be pleasant.

What is pleasant about shit?

....mmmm...so those are moments you enjoy alone?

How come after the "pleasantness" you want to exit very quickly from the room if someone else finds you ukitoka the small room ama ukiosha mikono kwwa sink?

Apart from Greens, fruits and constant water intake throughout the day, try this. Download at exactly the same time every day. Say say early morning. Take a bath. Try wait till the same time the next morning. same time. Do it for a month. Funny thing is that you will Always feel like downloading at exactly that same time. The body tends to get used to routine. The urge will always come at that same time and the body will always tend to push out good quantities. It works