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Just for laughs...corner
Mukiri
#1601 Posted : Wednesday, February 20, 2013 3:01:57 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/11/2012
Posts: 5,222
kelele.com
#1602 Posted : Wednesday, February 20, 2013 3:41:46 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 6/28/2010
Posts: 293
Location: Gigiri
Satan must be gay. Yaani she met eve naked and the only thing he told her is to eat a fruit? come on devil!!
Sina Signature. NKT
Bree
#1603 Posted : Wednesday, February 20, 2013 3:52:31 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 7/17/2008
Posts: 478
Location: Old Trafford
C&P

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ...... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

kenmac
#1604 Posted : Saturday, February 23, 2013 12:02:57 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/26/2009
Posts: 1,793


faiba



waaapi makofiLaughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
......Ecclesiastes
kenmac
#1605 Posted : Saturday, February 23, 2013 12:08:09 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/26/2009
Posts: 1,793
......Ecclesiastes
Julie
#1606 Posted : Saturday, February 23, 2013 12:16:29 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 12/2/2006
Posts: 658
Tihihi!
Julie
#1607 Posted : Saturday, February 23, 2013 12:18:45 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 12/2/2006
Posts: 658
Ata hangover imeisha!

Lakini mwili inauma everywhere!

@McReggae

Are you awake yet?
Ngong
#1608 Posted : Sunday, February 24, 2013 6:04:26 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/17/2012
Posts: 1,461
Location: Ngong Forest
Julie wrote:
Ata hangover imeisha!

Lakini mwili inauma everywhere!

@McReggae

Are you awake yet?


Liar Kwanini mwili inauma everywhere madam?
McReggae
#1609 Posted : Sunday, February 24, 2013 10:32:22 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Julie wrote:
Ata hangover imeisha!

Lakini mwili inauma everywhere!

@McReggae

Are you awake yet?


Woke up the following night!!!
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
Bree
#1610 Posted : Monday, February 25, 2013 1:28:37 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 7/17/2008
Posts: 478
Location: Old Trafford
brav wrote:
9 RULES OF LIFE FOR 2010
1 - Live to relax!

2 - Love your bed, it is your temple!
3 - Relax in the day, so that you can sleep at night!

4 - Work is holy, so don't attack it!

5 - Don't do something tomorrow, that you can do the day afterwards!


6 - Work as little as possible. Let the others do what needs to be done!

7 - Don't worry, nobody died from doing nothing, but you could get hurt at work!

8 - If you feel like doing work, sit down and wait until that feeling goes away!

9 - Don't forget: working is healthy! So leave it for the sick people!



Love it so... Drool
Bree
#1611 Posted : Monday, February 25, 2013 1:30:39 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 7/17/2008
Posts: 478
Location: Old Trafford
McReggae wrote:
Julie wrote:
Ata hangover imeisha!

Lakini mwili inauma everywhere!

@McReggae

Are you awake yet?


Woke up the following night!!!



Mc' slept on the job wololo! Pole Julie Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
dunkang
#1612 Posted : Monday, February 25, 2013 1:39:29 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/2/2011
Posts: 4,818
Location: -1.2107, 36.8831
Judge: Do you want to live with your mother?
Child: No
Judge: Why?
Child: She beats me.
Judge: Okay, so you want to live with dad?
Child: No
Judge: Why not?
Child: He beats me too.
Judge: So who do you want to live with?
Child: Arsenal
Judge: WHY??
Child: They never beat anyone!!!!
Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.” ― Rashi

ChessMaster
#1613 Posted : Monday, February 25, 2013 9:10:21 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/23/2009
Posts: 1,626
Uncertainty is certain.Let go
ChessMaster
#1614 Posted : Monday, February 25, 2013 9:12:05 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/23/2009
Posts: 1,626
dunkang wrote:
Judge: Do you want to live with your mother?
Child: No
Judge: Why?
Child: She beats me.
Judge: Okay, so you want to live with dad?
Child: No
Judge: Why not?
Child: He beats me too.
Judge: So who do you want to live with?
Child: Arsenal
Judge: WHY??
Child: They never beat anyone!!!!

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Uncertainty is certain.Let go
butterflyke
#1615 Posted : Monday, February 25, 2013 10:26:41 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/1/2010
Posts: 3,024
Location: Hapa
dunkang wrote:
Judge: Do you want to live with your mother?
Child: No
Judge: Why?
Child: She beats me.
Judge: Okay, so you want to live with dad?
Child: No
Judge: Why not?
Child: He beats me too.
Judge: So who do you want to live with?
Child: Arsenal
Judge: WHY??
Child: They never beat anyone!!!!



Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
dunkang
#1616 Posted : Monday, March 04, 2013 3:25:15 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/2/2011
Posts: 4,818
Location: -1.2107, 36.8831
Ati, guys at the coast are complaining that voting is taking too long because of the many electoral posts. They are now proposing that they be allowed to carry some home as homework!
Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.” ― Rashi

Motomoto
#1617 Posted : Tuesday, March 12, 2013 10:28:50 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 11/18/2010
Posts: 503
Location: Kenya
dunkang
#1618 Posted : Wednesday, March 13, 2013 4:37:51 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/2/2011
Posts: 4,818
Location: -1.2107, 36.8831
Waswahili nao! Eti...
1. Hata simba na ukali wake bado hutiwa mimba.

2. Hata uwe na haraka aje, huwezi kuomba lift gari la taka

3. Hata uendeshe range rover, hata upande chopper. sote tutaenda chooni kwa miguu.

4. Hata umle nguruwe, umle bata mwenye mafuta mengi, ule bhajia, au hata wali wa kupakwa, choo ulitoalo ni lile lile. rangi na uzito tu ndio tofauti.

5. Iwapo unalo shamba ekari alfu kadhaa, au uwe skwota, pindi tufapo tu, kaburi ni futi sita.

6. Hata Kivuli ya Mzungu ni Nyeusi...
Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.” ― Rashi

essyk
#1619 Posted : Tuesday, March 19, 2013 9:54:49 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
https://fbexternal-a.akamaihd.ne...630_929_b.jpg&jq=100
Laughing out loudly




Guess who photo when he was 3 years old.He is a media mogul



smh! what the heck!
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
xyzee
#1620 Posted : Tuesday, March 19, 2013 10:47:57 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 1/9/2009
Posts: 1,262
essyk wrote:
https://fbexternal-a.akamaihd.ne...630_929_b.jpg&jq=100
Laughing out loudly




Guess who photo when he was 3 years old.He is a media mogul


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Kibunjia's boys are on the way
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