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Elections humour....
aemathenge
#201 Posted : Tuesday, March 12, 2013 12:21:55 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
Guka tigana natuo. Tũra shiarirwo oro rîîîîu Kînyatta akua.
dunkang
#202 Posted : Tuesday, March 12, 2013 8:18:01 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/2/2011
Posts: 4,824
Location: -1.2107, 36.8831
#stolen from Meagan Michelle facebook account

I know many of you still have that indelible ink that IEBC
used to tag you during the elections. Well, if you want to
remove it, here is how:
1. Dip the finger in 5ml kerosene for five minutes.
2. Wipe the finger and let it dry for fifteen minutes.
3. Apply some turpentine on the finger using cotton wool
or a piece of cloth. Concentrate on the part with ink. Do
this for 5 minutes.
4. After that, pour 10ml of surgical spirit in a container
and dip the finger in it for 10 minutes.
5. Dry the finger using a clean cloth. Now it is fully
prepped for surgery.
6. Use a sterilized scalpel to cut off that part of the finger.
Do this quickly to prevent major blood loss.
7. Use a sterilized needle and thread to seal the wound.
Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.” ― Rashi

keraka
#203 Posted : Tuesday, March 12, 2013 8:55:30 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 637
Location: Nairobi
quicksand wrote:
Njung'e wrote:
quicksand wrote:
Njung'e wrote:
C&P

"Uthamaki ni witu.Thamaki ni ciao!"


Tactless and unsavoury. Show some class.


Go tell it to whoever wrote it.Idiot!


You copied it here, you are culpable. Have you taken leave of your senses? Those who paste lewd links or pictures get usered by the admin (when she deems fit to work), even when they did not author the original content.
If you want to be treated like an adult, first you must behave like one. Get your head out of tribal bigotry, it is a disease.


I have repetitively written in this forum that i highly doubt this tribal bigot is our very own guka of Yore and nobody seems to care.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Motomoto
#204 Posted : Tuesday, March 12, 2013 9:39:26 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 11/18/2010
Posts: 503
Location: Kenya
C&P
> *1. Mutura: is a Kenyan delicacy resembling sausages, it is also what > people in Nyeri call the education minister*
>
> *2. To you, Mascara may be make up but to a Luhya it's cigarettes.*
>
> *3. Marijuana is a drug but to the Kikuyus it also means they knew each > other.*
>
> *4. The Hobbit is a movie but to the Kambas it is a chewing gum.*
>
> *5. Ukali means bitter or harshness but to a Luhya it's food.*
>
> *6. Federer is a tennis player but to Kikuyus it also means a flag.*
>
> *7. L is a letter in the alphabet but to Kambas it is also the place > where sinners will go.*
>
> *8. Choice is not only an option but to the Kisiis it's a girl's name.*
>
> *9. Bull is the male species of a cow but to a Kalenjin it's also a place > where people like Dunford swim.*
>
> *10. Sack is a bag type used for luggage but our Luo friends unmistakably > enigmaticaly with utmost flamboyance know it's a sea mammal with ssarp > teeth.*
>
> *11. Hyundai is a car and it's what happens when you take poison in > Ukambani.*
>
> *12. Sota in sheng means to be broke but to the Luhya it's a beverage** > (soda)**.*
>
> *13. Yana is a tyre brand but **t**o the Kamabas it means yesterday.*
>
> *14. Do this is english but to Kikuyus it means many motorbikes *
>
> *15. Paper is writing material but to Kisiis it means to carry [beba]*
>
> *16. Parrot to Luhyas is not only a bird, but a thing that we will use at > the March 4th General Election.*
>
> *17. Chuka is a town in Meru county but to the Nyeri people it means to > "alight"!* ****
aemathenge
#205 Posted : Tuesday, March 12, 2013 11:44:20 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
keraka wrote:
I have repetitively written in this forum that i highly doubt this tribal bigot is our very own guka of Yore and nobody seems to care.

I have no doubted who he is. Never doubted for a moment.

Double standards, hypocrisy and neo-tribal bigotry in what Guka would call ndoti komu generation so eloquently displayed on this thread is the sad reality.

Brilliant thread Washiku. Cool job here.
Foreman
#206 Posted : Tuesday, March 12, 2013 1:02:29 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 11/18/2010
Posts: 194
Location: Kenya
RIP Guka of wazua.
aemathenge
#207 Posted : Tuesday, March 12, 2013 1:57:57 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
Foreman wrote:
RIP Guka of wazua.

Guka wa Vijoti survived the Muingeretha Colonialist. Muingeretha packed from thititi hauthi and left Jomo.

Jomo stayed and stayed and then the Mugumo tree fell. He went and left Guka driving Old Omnigog Mathindethi trucks without power steering pulling trailers all over Kenia.

M thiro One came and lead the Nation in being number one in everything and fuataing Nyayo miaka nenda miaka rundi. He made Guka do funny thing over at Naivasha's Hunduma ya Vijana wa Taifa. Nyayo went and left Guka hapa hapa.

Father of Jimmy is going to Ng'arua and is leaving Guka nursing the side effects of too many mutula and karuvu.

Husband of Margaret will leave him here laughing with his tucukurwe and telling them gwata ndai and the poor kids will whisper to one another Guks ame lost.

RIP, Naaaah. Can't do.
aemathenge
#208 Posted : Tuesday, March 12, 2013 2:00:53 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
Guka, can you imagine there is a Citizen of the Virtual Republic of Wazua whose handle is, wait for it.....

Ki-nyama.

Ma ya Ngai.
simonkabz
#209 Posted : Tuesday, March 12, 2013 2:13:14 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,776
Location: Cameroon
aemathenge wrote:
Guka, can you imagine there is a Citizen of the Virtual Republic of Wazua whose handle is, wait for it.....

Ki-nyama.

Ma ya Ngai.


Wewe wacha kutetea haka kajamaa. Kako na upuzi sana siku hizi.
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
Njung'e
#210 Posted : Tuesday, March 12, 2013 3:21:23 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
simonkabz wrote:
aemathenge wrote:
Guka, can you imagine there is a Citizen of the Virtual Republic of Wazua whose handle is, wait for it.....

Ki-nyama.

Ma ya Ngai.


Wewe wacha kutetea haka kajamaa. Kako na upuzi sana siku hizi.


Ulishindwa na rejected votes mimi ndio utaweza?
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
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