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mine is mine,yours is ours
Rank: Elder Joined: 11/19/2008 Posts: 1,267
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I have just wondered why women tend to disrespect their men when they become more empowered financially.I have seen a woman who was once jobless,well provided and respected by her man starts madharau ndogo ndogo when she got a job,why does this happen? Sk ladies do you /did you do the same to your man? Do not judge me by my name.I'm a super star****** Isaiah 65:17-Look! I am creating new heavens and a new earth, and no one will even think about the old ones anymore
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/8/2007 Posts: 885
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cuts both ways dude. i have also seen men who were jobless,had nothing. but the woman stood by him,some women even help their men get educated,start businesses,got them jobs.... and eventually he was empowered financially. then he starts madharau ndogo ndogo. i think what would be interesting would be to see the stats on this. are there more men who were sorted out by their women,than women who were sorted out by their men?? it would be very close....and i tend to lean towards more men being sorted out....
come slowly....
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/12/2008 Posts: 74
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Hell No!!!.
When i started dating my guy i was earning far much better than him na tuliheshimiana sana. Assisted one another accordingly,when i lost my job he assisted me zaidi,guess that's how it works suppose ningemshow madharash kungekuwa mhadhara!
For me to live is Jesus Christ,to die is gain
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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I'm not woman,but yes,yours are for both of you,and hers is hers.
I can tell you what happens.
First of all,it's your primary role as a man to provide for your woman,whether she works or not.
Provide for her maintenance and needs e.g. housing,clothing,food,physical needs etc.
Secondly,it's your other primary role to be head of your house.
You are responsible for her and everything in your family.
She's responsible you and your household.
If she works,you can ask her to help financially where she can.
But give her the pride of using her money to do her stuff e.g. hair,fancy clothing etc
Lastly and key,make sure you satisfy her emotionally and physically.
When you succeed in these two areas,the woman can do anything. I mean anything!
If you come short in this,then why would you expect respect from her?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/27/2008 Posts: 3,760
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so alphadoti this viagra thing should be vigorously pursued?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 8/1/2008 Posts: 1,432 Location: Marsabit
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@Alphadoti Very well said...but sadly men just never seem to get it! @Fundaah I dont think it's really a matter of a woman suddenly having more cash than the guy,but just how much respect they both had for each other even before that. I know lots of women who earn more than their men but still the respect is intact. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.. Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
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Rank: Member Joined: 6/3/2006 Posts: 553
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@ leona,you meant to say 'Some men' right? The thicker the thigh the sweeter the pie. The thicker the thigh the sweeter the pie.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 8/1/2008 Posts: 1,432 Location: Marsabit
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@Generali Ooops...i guess i meant 'most men'......and of course the 'most' doesnt include the likes of you and Alphadoti... Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.. Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/27/2008 Posts: 4,114
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Why is there so much hostility between men and women.....each always complaining about the habits of the other? And worst of all,making unjustifiable generalisations,e.g.,Fundaa above and leona below This hostility will lead you astray....you will become suspicious of your spouse and will consequently have a very bad life. No two people are alike. Look at your partner,figure out what they are like....decide whether or you can live with it....then either stay or move out. No need to complain to all and sundry. Some men are very good some are very bad,but most are OK Some women are very bad,some are very good,but most are OK Society is obsessed with negatives,thus we tend to generalise on the bad examples Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/18/2008 Posts: 3,434 Location: Kerugoya
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@Mukiha, Well spoken. Live hard,die hard.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 8/1/2008 Posts: 1,432 Location: Marsabit
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@Mukiha Does supporting Alphas' post make me hostile & negative towards men??I think you didn't get my point and am not hostile towards men,i have no reason to..... Anyway,I had supported Alphadotis' arguement coz it makes a lot of sense to me and what he pointed out is every womans dream of how a man should treat and respect her. PS: When i said 'most'' i might have meant 55% or 60% or whatever percentage thus meaning not all men... Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.. Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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@Alpha
Are you married? I am hawking my younger sis.... she could be lucky to be married to you.....
Some deals are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 8/1/2008 Posts: 1,432 Location: Marsabit
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@Wendz Hahaaa! we must collude to net this Alpha for your siz...lets cross our fingers aseme yuko 'singo' sana. Such dudes are very hard to come by..... Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.. Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/7/2007 Posts: 11,935 Location: Nairobi
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@Alpha,Wendz/Leona, You mean we bribe our way into their pockets??......Wakae na hiyo pesa yao...!!!...am taking over the kitchen from her starting today ..........Atakula 'paraffin' mpaka agurume kama gari'.....Na wewe Alpha...wewe...!!...........Tunachunguza mambo yako....-:) Guka wa bijuti... Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
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Rank: Member Joined: 9/24/2008 Posts: 235
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In my opinion...it could go both ways.... I know of a couple married for 16years now...wife has always earned more than the dude. she had a better job since...and had more financial clout than the jamaa..to date they are still together...if she had chosen...she would have packed and left way back... Second case was this woman whose husband lost this very lucrative job...wife started reffering to him as good for nothing,mother inlaw et al got involved they said he is just wasting the woman...the lady packed her bags left the country she now lives somewhere in the US... I think it could go either way...at the same time I could be wrong...am no expert... maybe Dr Hart has done more analysis on this subject. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves,and good fortune to others
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/23/2008 Posts: 3,017
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@ Alphadoti Your assertions are too simplistic. When you say provide for her,does this mean if you and wifey are earning 50K each,then you should spend all your money to support the family while she spends hers on her hair and nails? Marriage is about supporting each other equitably,the partner with more money bears the heavier burden,and the one with more mental strength bears more emotional burden. I guess if you can't win with facts,you can always pen bile-laced,xenophobic rants to distract everyone. "The purpose of bureaucracy is to compensate for incompetence and lack of discipline." James Collins
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/11/2007 Posts: 1,680 Location: nairobi
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candidate number 2.. .. alpha that was soo sweet imagine am thinking like dahh who needs them anyway......... any chance..or its sisters 1st.. make the BIG switch.. puts me as candidate number 1..single and ready to be $%@
muthomi mugi aiikagia maitho kabere...
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/27/2008 Posts: 4,114
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Outside interference - from any quarters,be they friends relatives and so on - can be the greatest threat to a marriage. Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 8/1/2008 Posts: 1,432 Location: Marsabit
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@Njung'e Weeeee wacha siasa! Ata ukimpatia paraffin huwesmek! Alpha amesema yote Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.. Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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@Mlefu
You lost it kitambo.... huwesmek.... Wacha Alpha aongee.... am already shopping around for a nice venue.... wedding might even be this weekend... we are moving that fast....
@leona
this Alpha dude was on another thread... i think he is muslim and you know,they are allowed to marry 4 wives... aaai... my little sis hawesmek with him... what do you think?
Some deals are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
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