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mine is mine,yours is ours
Fundaah
#1 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 8:25:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/19/2008
Posts: 1,267
I have just wondered why women tend to disrespect their men when they become more empowered financially.I have seen a woman who was once jobless,well provided and respected by her man starts madharau ndogo ndogo when she got a job,why does this happen? Sk ladies do you /did you do the same to your man?

Do not judge me by my name.I'm a super star******
Isaiah 65:17-Look! I am creating new heavens and a new earth, and no one will even think about the old ones anymore
PONDI
#2 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 8:41:00 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 5/8/2007
Posts: 885
cuts both ways dude. i have also seen men who were jobless,had nothing. but the woman stood by him,some women even help their men get educated,start businesses,got them jobs.... and eventually he was empowered financially. then he starts madharau ndogo ndogo. i think what would be interesting would be to see the stats on this. are there more men who were sorted out by their women,than women who were sorted out by their men?? it would be very close....and i tend to lean towards more men being sorted out....

come slowly....
Tutu
#3 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 8:44:00 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 11/12/2008
Posts: 74
Hell No!!!.

When i started dating my guy i was earning far much better than him na tuliheshimiana sana. Assisted one another accordingly,when i lost my job he assisted me zaidi,guess that's how it works suppose ningemshow madharash kungekuwa mhadhara!


For me to live is Jesus Christ,to die is gain
AlphDoti
#4 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 9:02:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
I'm not woman,but yes,yours are for both of you,and hers is hers.

I can tell you what happens.



First of all,it's your primary role as a man to provide for your woman,whether she works or not.

Provide for her maintenance and needs e.g. housing,clothing,food,physical needs etc.

Secondly,it's your other primary role to be head of your house.

You are responsible for her and everything in your family.

She's responsible you and your household.

If she works,you can ask her to help financially where she can.

But give her the pride of using her money to do her stuff e.g. hair,fancy clothing etc



Lastly and key,make sure you satisfy her emotionally and physically.

When you succeed in these two areas,the woman can do anything. I mean anything!

If you come short in this,then why would you expect respect from her?
Gordon Gekko
#5 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 9:33:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/27/2008
Posts: 3,760
so alphadoti this viagra thing should be vigorously pursued?
leona
#6 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 9:48:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 8/1/2008
Posts: 1,432
Location: Marsabit
@Alphadoti

Very well said...but sadly men just never seem to get it!

@Fundaah

I dont think it's really a matter of a woman suddenly having more cash than the guy,but just how much respect they both had for each other even before that. I know lots of women who earn more than their men but still the respect is intact.


Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't..
Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
The General
#7 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 9:51:00 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 6/3/2006
Posts: 553
@ leona,you meant to say 'Some men' right?

The thicker the thigh the sweeter the pie.
The thicker the thigh the sweeter the pie.
leona
#8 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 10:07:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 8/1/2008
Posts: 1,432
Location: Marsabit
@Generali

Ooops...i guess i meant 'most men'......and of course the 'most' doesnt include the likes of you and Alphadoti...

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't..
Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
mukiha
#9 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 10:21:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/27/2008
Posts: 4,114
Why is there so much hostility between men and women.....each always complaining about the habits of the other? And worst of all,making unjustifiable generalisations,e.g.,Fundaa above and leona below

This hostility will lead you astray....you will become suspicious of your spouse and will consequently have a very bad life.

No two people are alike. Look at your partner,figure out what they are like....decide whether or you can live with it....then either stay or move out. No need to complain to all and sundry.

Some men are very good some are very bad,but most are OK

Some women are very bad,some are very good,but most are OK

Society is obsessed with negatives,thus we tend to generalise on the bad examples
Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
aemathenge
#10 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 11:08:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
@Mukiha,
Well spoken.

Live hard,die hard.
leona
#11 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 11:09:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 8/1/2008
Posts: 1,432
Location: Marsabit
@Mukiha

Does supporting Alphas' post make me hostile & negative towards men??I think you didn't get my point and am not hostile towards men,i have no reason to.....

Anyway,I had supported Alphadotis' arguement coz it makes a lot of sense to me and what he pointed out is every womans dream of how a man should treat and respect her.

PS: When i said 'most'' i might have meant 55% or 60% or whatever percentage thus meaning not all men...




Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't..
Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
Wendz
#12 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 11:38:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
@Alpha

Are you married? I am hawking my younger sis.... she could be lucky to be married to you.....

Some deals are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
leona
#13 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 11:55:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 8/1/2008
Posts: 1,432
Location: Marsabit
@Wendz

Hahaaa! we must collude to net this Alpha for your siz...lets cross our fingers aseme yuko 'singo' sana. Such dudes are very hard to come by.....

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't..
Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
Njunge
#14 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 12:06:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
@Alpha,Wendz/Leona,

You mean we bribe our way into their pockets??......Wakae na hiyo pesa yao...!!!...am taking over the kitchen from her starting today ..........Atakula 'paraffin' mpaka agurume kama gari'.....Na wewe Alpha...wewe...!!...........Tunachunguza mambo yako....-:)



Guka wa bijuti...
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
reddevil
#15 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 12:17:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 9/24/2008
Posts: 235
In my opinion...it could go both ways....

I know of a couple married for 16years now...wife has always earned more than the

dude. she had a better job since...and had more financial clout than the jamaa..to

date they are still together...if she had chosen...she would have packed and left way

back...

Second case was this woman whose husband lost this very lucrative job...wife started

reffering to him as good for nothing,mother inlaw et al got involved they said he is just

wasting the woman...the lady packed her bags left the country she now lives

somewhere in the US...

I think it could go either way...at the same time I could be wrong...am no expert...

maybe Dr Hart has done more analysis on this subject.

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves,and good fortune to others
Obi 1 Kanobi
#16 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 12:19:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/23/2008
Posts: 3,017
@ Alphadoti

Your assertions are too simplistic. When you say provide for her,does this mean if you and wifey are earning 50K each,then you should spend all your money to support the family while she spends hers on her hair and nails?

Marriage is about supporting each other equitably,the partner with more money bears the heavier burden,and the one with more mental strength bears more emotional burden.


I guess if you can't win with facts,you can always pen bile-laced,xenophobic rants to distract everyone.
"The purpose of bureaucracy is to compensate for incompetence and lack of discipline." James Collins
mlefu
#17 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 12:23:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/11/2007
Posts: 1,680
Location: nairobi
candidate number 2.. .. alpha that was soo sweet imagine am thinking like dahh who needs them anyway......... any chance..or its sisters 1st.. make the BIG switch.. puts me as candidate number 1..single and ready to be $%@

muthomi mugi aiikagia maitho kabere...
mukiha
#18 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 12:24:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/27/2008
Posts: 4,114
Outside interference - from any quarters,be they friends relatives and so on - can be the greatest threat to a marriage.
Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
leona
#19 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 12:26:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 8/1/2008
Posts: 1,432
Location: Marsabit
@Njung'e

Weeeee wacha siasa! Ata ukimpatia paraffin huwesmek! Alpha amesema yotesmile

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't..
Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
Wendz
#20 Posted : Thursday, March 26, 2009 1:14:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
@Mlefu

You lost it kitambo.... huwesmek.... Wacha Alpha aongee.... am already shopping around for a nice venue.... wedding might even be this weekend... we are moving that fast....

@leona

this Alpha dude was on another thread... i think he is muslim and you know,they are allowed to marry 4 wives... aaai... my little sis hawesmek with him... what do you think?

Some deals are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
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