Woooooi i work up this morning to find a letter on my desk
Dear Madam,
RE:Economic Recesssion-Corporate Downsizing
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the
economy,management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40
years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as
R-A-P-E (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be R-A-P-ED can apply to management to be eligible for
the S-H-A-F-T scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who
have been R-A-P-ED and S-H-A-F-T-ED will be reviewed under the S-C-R-E-W
program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be R-A-P-ED
once,S-H-A-F-T-ED twice and S-C-R-E-W-ED as many times as management
deems appropriate.
Persons who have been R-A-P-ED can only get A-I-D-S (Additional Income for
Dependants & Spouse) or H-E-R-P-E-S (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel
Early Severance). Obviously persons who have A-I-D-S or H-E-R-P-E-S will
not be S-H-A-F-T-ED or S-C-R-E-W-ED any further by management.
Persons who are not R-A-P-ED and are staying on will receive as much
S-H-I-T (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has
always prided itself on the amount of S-H-I-T it gives employees. Should
you feel that you do not receive enough S-H-I-T,please bring to the
attention of your supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the
S-H-I-T you can handle.
sk lady