[quote=Angelica _ann]

we are doing 17 years this year august. i come from a very strong tukutendereza family background so leaving is not an option![/quote]

So you have two options because I don't think you're a murderer:
1) Make it work
2) Live the rest of your life in misery

Isn't the answer simple?

repeat

@mchanga, just follow your heart. What works at my house might not work at yours. And don't bother consulting the best couple. Their job was to panga guys on wedding day.

Now, a cousin of mine once told me you need to slap your wife when she is newly married to establish the pecking order early enough. I thought he was a primitive male chauvinist. Until I found myself inadvertently following that advice. Unbelievably, after the drama of being reported to my parents, her parents and the pastor, the rules of engagement in my house became crystal clear. Would i advise anyone to follow my cousin's style? No! The drama was too much. Plus what would happen if she returned the slap? Its a slippery road that one?

[quote=FRM2011]@mchanga, just follow your heart. What works at my house might not work at yours. And don't bother consulting the best couple. Their job was to panga guys on wedding day.

Now, a cousin of mine once told me you need to slap your wife when she is newly married to establish the pecking order early enough. I thought he was a primitive male chauvinist. Until I found myself inadvertently following that advice. Unbelievably, after the drama of being reported to my parents, her parents and the pastor, the rules of engagement in my house became crystal clear. Would i advise anyone to follow my cousin's style? No! The drama was too much. Plus what would happen if she returned the slap? Its a slippery road that one? [/quote]
@FRM2011 it's true what you've sad. It works. But only real men who are confident about themselves can do it. This hasto be done at the begining of the marriage and not later!

Just treat her well from the start. And observe her until one day she makes one, first, stupid mistake e.g. coming home late without latting you know, past "acceptable" time.
That's when you unleash a quick and sharp slap. No more. She will cry like crazy that whole night. Don't talk.
Next day in the morning, just go for your usual business. On your way back from work later in the day, buy her a very simple, sweet gift. Give it to her. Tell her you overeacted and apologize. Tell her you were so upset by what she did yesterday. And that you don't want that to happen again. And you won't repeat it again. Hug her and leave it at that...

Treat her like a queen after that and you'll be a happily married man!!!

Are things this bad