A Pastor rears chicken in Church
premises,one evening a Cock
went missing.

In Church the next day, Pastor
asked - "who has a cock?" All the
men stood up.

He said - "No,I mean who has
seen a cock?" All the women got
up,

Pastor - "No,No,I meant who has
seen a cock that isn't theirs?"

Half of the women got up,

He said "Oh Lord for goodness sake I
mean, Who has seen my cock?"

All the Choir girls got....

Pastor fainted!

@livie, hii imeshida...Oooh....u r almost becoming a veteran!

Just saw this on facebook, and stole it PAP
Copy n Paste

Dear Janet Mbugua….

I have attempted to suppress my feelings since Monday 9PM but that effort has been subjected to futility. Yawaa I comprehend that just like lilian muli, u r also matrimonially abducted & as such, I should mutilate any hopes of pursuing your affection. Nevertheless my corneas still detect and appreciate that both of u oozes aesthetics in gigantic proportions, both of you not only radiate but also advertise beauty via minimal effort. Yawaaa indeed it is correct that birds of the same feather locomate in unison.

On that day, Monday 21st January 2013, 2100Hrs The regalia u embedded on ur body laminated your anatomy in a cohesive and jealous manner. It stalked your physique, tracing every contour that is depicted in your fauna. Manners has barred me from oozing positive appreciation towards ur mammary glands in public domain, but your hips will not be accosted similar amnesty. Woman, yawaa flesh has resided in your pelvic areas in an inciting manner; the bulging of ur hips at the periphery of ur posterior ial mass is unanimously seductive, its mere sight alerts the organs that inhabits my loins. i emit appreciation towards the plateau existing in ur front abdominals as ur stomach does not custod overlapping intestines (tyres). Yawaaa u were chiseled yawaaa!!!

Despite the fact that u are vertically endowed thereby raising ur center of gravity hence making u vulnerable to falling…irony has sided with you by condemning my heart to be the one to succumb to gravitational pull. I have fallen. yawaa Because of you, I just imported a plasma 67” 3D spectrum colour television from Australia that is charged with the onus of airing only news that is being relinquished by the tongue that is tethered in close proximity to ur alluring face.

Yours sincerely
Opiyo.

Via my 567,000 shillings laptop (950GB)
…….near My jaccuzi, in my 4th other dwelling in runda, Narobi.

C&P

Chizi alikuwa anatembea, kwenda Mathari Hosp.
akaona kitu kama kinyesi.
Akainama akagusa na kidole kisha akalamba akasema
"waa, ni mavi kweli! THANK GOD SIKUKANYAGA!!!''

hahahahaaaaa.....still laughing

another C&P

1. Marijuana is a drug but to Kikuyus, it also means 'They know each other'
2. The Hobbit is a movie but to the Kambas, it is a chewing gum
3. Federer is a tennis player but to Kikuyus, it also means Flag
4. Yana is a tyre brand but to Kambas its Yesterday.
5.Ukali means Harshness but to Luhyas is food {ugali}
6. Sota is being broke but to the Luhyas its a beverage
7. Do this is english but to kiuks it means many motobike {duth is}
8. Mascara is a make up but to Luhyas is cigarettes.
9. Paper is a writting material but to Kisiis its to carry {beba}
10. Parrot to Luhyas is not only a bird,but a thing that we will use on march 4th election {ballot}
11. Chuka may be a place in meru but in Nyeri it also means 'to alight'
12. Joyce is not only a female name to Kalenjins its an option {choise}

Hakuna haja ya kukanyaga mavi.

LMAO!
HOW WOMEN REACT .
Manzi: baby leo office kazi imekua mingi, imagine tumeongezewa over time ya 4 hrs. Leo ntafika home 12.am
Chali: aah you are serious ama you are just kidding?
Manzi: Aki ni ukweli.
Chali: sawa wacha ntatafta cab nkukujie.
Manzi:haina haja juu nta dropiwa apo home na yule workmate wangu.
Chali: Wah apo ni ngumu,but I trust
you..silali na watch movie nikiku
ngoja.
. . . . .
CHALI: baby leo office kazi imekua mingi, imagine tumeongezewa over time ya 4 hrs. Leo ntafika home 12.am
Manzi: ati whaaat?? Ati over time? My
fooot,
Si uwache kutafta reasons, saa hii
juu umelipwa end month, huku
huwezi patikana.
kazi ni kwenda tu klabu ukakule pesa
zako na malaya wako.
Enda ukajienjoy na hao malaya wako, ata ukitaka kulala uko lala, but hizo nguo zako uwaachie juu
sitazifua.
{Anaanza kulia}, kama nimekuchosha
sema, be a man face me uniambie, hakuna ­ haja ya madharau. .
Na ukae ukijua kwetu sikufukuzwa, unifanyie tu vile unataka, but God
anaona,.ni treat hivyo but kila kitu kina
mwisho. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this has made my evening!!!!