This one from a forward I have received is a cracker! It would be interesting to hear what funny things you have heard tots say.

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'


MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said,'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties.. Mine say five to six.'


STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'


BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration,her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder,the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'


SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said,'It makes my teeth cough.'


DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'


CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried When his Mom asked what was troubling him,he replied,'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?' MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them,he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly,rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked,'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned,James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'


The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget ... This particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began,with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you,we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice,'Mom,what is butt dust?'

@Mpenzi;

Some more here,





A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer 'Dear Harold'.
At this,dad interrupted and said,'Wait a minute,How come you
called God,'Harold'? The little boy looked up and said,'That's
what they call Him in chruch,You know the prayer we say,
'Our Father,who art in Heaven,Harold be Thy name.'




During the minister's prayer one Sunday,there was a loud whistle
from one of the back pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She pinched
him into silence,and after church,asked: 'Gary,whatever made
you do such a thing?' Gary answered soberly: 'I asked God to teach
me to whistle... And He just then did!'



One night Mike's parents overheard this prayer. 'Now I lay me
down to rest,and hope to pass tomorrow's test,if I should die
before I wake,that's one less test I have to take.'



A little boy's prayer. 'Dear God,please take care of my daddy,
mommy,sister,brother,my doggy and me. Oh,please take care of
yourself,God. If anything happens to you,we're gonna be in a big mess.'



A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: 'So your mother says
your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does
she say?' The little boy replied,'Thank God he's in bed!'



A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table,she turned to her
six-year-old daughter and said,'Would you like to say the blessing?'
I wouldn't know what to say,' the little girl replied. 'Just say what
you hear Mommy say,'the mother said. The little girl bowed her head
and said 'Dear Lord,why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'



Johny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while
he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and
then said a prayer. 'Fine,said the pleased mother. 'If you ask
God to help you not misbehave,He will help you.' 'Oh,I didn't ask
Him to help me not misbehave,' said Johnny.
'I asked Him to help you put up with me.'


A little boy was overheard praying: 'Lord,if You can't make me a
better boy,don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am!'

Old man about town....

@jaribu
That one is deadly....lol

If you are still excited from yesterday's achievements,then today you have not achieved anything.

@ Njunge n Jaribu i like those ones...

it reminds me of the comedy 'war at home'
mom n dad approach their 14 year old son mike after finding a condom wrapper in his pocket,terrified they ask mike to feel free to talk to them about sex...

mike: mom n dad,u said i can talk to u about anything right? i have a few issues that's been bugging me...


what is the best position for sex?
dad,have u ever had a homosexual experience?
U guys have sex right? do u fantasize about other people while at it?
Mom whats a G spot n where is it?

mike satisfied with the discomfort he has just caused.... takes a long sigh of relief n says ..... well that will keep them from trying to talk to me about sex ever again........

Its just me whatever choice you make in life make sure that you can live with it.

@wangu
he he he i hope you didnt check for your age right there at your desk

Rotflmao....!!....You guys are nuts..!!

Old man about town....