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Just for laughs...corner
Impunity
#1481 Posted : Monday, November 26, 2012 11:22:10 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 18,834
Location: Masada
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

chemos
#1482 Posted : Tuesday, November 27, 2012 9:50:37 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/28/2006
Posts: 1,773
chemos
#1483 Posted : Tuesday, November 27, 2012 3:55:07 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/28/2006
Posts: 1,773
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly



nostoppingthis
#1484 Posted : Tuesday, November 27, 2012 4:05:14 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 8/24/2009
Posts: 5,890
Location: Nairobi
Hehehehehe @Chemos!!!
ChessMaster
#1485 Posted : Wednesday, November 28, 2012 4:34:46 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/23/2009
Posts: 1,626
A preacher went into his church and he was praying to God. While he was praying, he asked God, "How long is 10 million years to you?" God replied, "1 second." The next day the preacher asked God, "God, how much is 10 million dollars to you?" And God replied, "A penny." Then finally the next day the preacher asked God, "God, can I have one of your pennies?" And God replied, "Just wait a sec."
Uncertainty is certain.Let go
ChessMaster
#1486 Posted : Wednesday, November 28, 2012 4:49:08 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/23/2009
Posts: 1,626
Funniest Interview you will ever see
Uncertainty is certain.Let go
xyzee
#1487 Posted : Wednesday, November 28, 2012 4:49:46 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 1/9/2009
Posts: 1,253
C&P

5 children are born soon after the release of gospel hit songs Furi Furi (Jimi Gait), Sari Sari (DK), Mbona (Daddy Owen), Sitolia (Willy Paul/GM) and Mpango wa Kando (Gloria Muliro), the parents decided to name the chilren after these songs

5 years later....... At a play ground

"Furi furi umeona Sari sari?"......"Hapana"
"na Mbona Sitolia analia?.." "Si amechapwa na mpango wa kando..."

ChessMaster
#1488 Posted : Wednesday, November 28, 2012 5:12:13 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/23/2009
Posts: 1,626
Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others" he is told by the doorman.
Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So the doorman leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. "See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!"
"Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!"
"And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!"
"Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss physics!"
"And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!"
"That Wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!"
Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. "I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80."
Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where do you think interest rates are headed?"
Uncertainty is certain.Let go
brav
#1489 Posted : Thursday, November 29, 2012 8:23:15 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 734
Had to C&P this from facebook:

Dagitari Wanjohi Kigogoine posts this:
Quick sale.

TOY NZE.
YOM: 2004.
Reg: KBM
Mileage: Low small.
Accidents: Has never, even once.
Legs: New. Not retread. Only spare is Kaguru sirry.
Owner: Is like a Persons. (Drives carefully but parks it like a man)
The car does not know any front of bar and has never been converted into a bedroom. In short, it has never drank beer since it was born)

Asking: 810k but can take 770k.

Inbox for more sweeter details. Only serious buyers. Jokers will go to Satan. Askers can post comments, you will not be asked..

Good day.

Comments follow:
Kelly Mbugguss: colour?

Jonnie Jonty: colour...??

Dagitari Wanjohi Kigogoine: Color: Silver

Maina Wamuyu hahaha Dagitari niatuika broker,hope ni 1500 cc?

Trevor Maina ni yako?

Nganga Kinyanjui can b climbed by how many goers

Jonnie Jonty silvermetalic ama niile silver ya pale globe

Trevor Maina nitafutie fielder

David Kiarie how is nyonyos#dashboard?

Mose Wa Bloti Any other extras? Does it suck much or its well looked?

Dagitari Wanjohi Kigogoine Mose Wa Bloti it drinks like a trapper waiting for someone to come and buy it beer. Very small unless you put V-power.

Munene Ruth we karí gani, u r selling my car bila kuniambia.

Mose Wa Bloti That's a good drinker, and the legs r for Jango (chrome) or for kambas (ile rim ya blaka)?

Pinchez DE Gunners kai watuikire broker, b careful coz uta+broker mpaka watu

Dedan Njagi how many people can climb it and how much cc's is the Engine?

Muruli Muhande Does it need lubrication or its naturally wet? Does the exhaust pipe make noise?

Jose Choops how many passengers can it take

Wamunyururu Kiengei wee wafombe why cnt we make a deal n i will payin you small small cz i too is a short farmer u av to feel for me mercy,eeh.

Nganga Kinyanjui does it hav a song,if yes, r the speakers r removing to remove ¿

Nganga Kinyanjui does it hav a song,if yes, r the speakers r removing to remove ¿

Nganga Kinyanjui does it hav a song,if yes, r the speakers r removing to remove ¿

Joj Gwaro nitafutie mushugi iyo nko nayo ata ntakupatia uongezee soko yako

Munyiri Karanja is it clean.

Ben A Gichuri Teetotaller if I buy, will she remove thurari for me?


Peter Kamau Muraguri Is it a diesel drinker.

Joj Gwaro Ben I think she will remove u instead!

Ellen Kanoni pliz its a toy.810/770 kwani wewe ni mlevi

Wanjiru Muriu Does it hav to b scared everytime i want to go?

Martin Kevuti Cc is of how many?

Noni Njogu Ati silver?r u sure ur not selling silver gaita?????

Lovingson Kamau Does it have good Shokonshobas?
And does it run fast like lack of importance?

Koskei Africana How many peoples can climb it`s kwa nyeni (boot)

Einstein D' Bravo does it drink like milked friesian or like tucows of ikamba~ini?

Alex Ka Wambùi Wanjiru Muriu, you made my day , tamaka wí múgúrúki ;)

Daniel 'Baggio' Gituku Does it pour water with kwa nyeni when u step on fat*

Daniel 'Baggio' Gituku Dagitare you should date Wanjiku Muriu, i refuse to know.

Alex Ka Wambùi Is it manual or it is for disabled? (No pun intended)

Mose Wa Bloti U will go to satan, @ Wanjiru.

Amos Podolski Kamau has it ever carried a person of out! because of nooks?

Mathew Thanju Has any person of out been climmbed in that car ikiwa kwa jam cos u Wanjohi u r used of climmbing pple hata kwa choo?

Wanjiru Muriu @ Mose, ur enjo gaburieri? @ baggio: dagitare is nt having a persons? @ alex, glad to do that smile

Sean Thondu i buyed another which we had to scare it b4 we romove for work how is the stone for starting


14 hours ago via mobile · Like
Steve Ngash Nze G very clean ni ya (kufa nayo ! ) meaning till death u never dispose.

Rabat Kan Kam Hahahaa.to me this is silver Ngaita and Wanjohis deal to market SILVER.

Ngugi G Brian Haha' is it cash or Loan' where do we 'view' it frm ad iz thea road/engine check up!



Reginah Mungai all of you ^^^^^^^ will go to satan, wanjohi is dead serious

Tebes
#1490 Posted : Thursday, November 29, 2012 10:21:46 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 2,017
"Never regret, if its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience."
Tebes
#1491 Posted : Thursday, November 29, 2012 10:43:35 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 2,017
"Never regret, if its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience."
Mastermind
#1492 Posted : Friday, November 30, 2012 8:36:42 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 1/25/2012
Posts: 1,322
Location: Langley
Names

Habari yako Mr.Nyaga ( ostrich)

poa sana

Mr Mbogo (buffalo)

umeona

Njau ( calf)

apana nimeona

Ngari (leopard) akitoka kwa akina

Njogu(elephant) ambaye ameoa dadake Muruthi (lion) rafiki yake King'ang'i (crocodile) na

Ngige(beetle)... Ntwiga (Giraffe) amekusalimia.
If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
marshalliah
#1493 Posted : Friday, November 30, 2012 8:56:24 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/10/2009
Posts: 52
rock
#1494 Posted : Sunday, December 09, 2012 4:29:55 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 2/25/2009
Posts: 972
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.

Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
dunkang
#1495 Posted : Sunday, December 09, 2012 4:47:15 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/2/2011
Posts: 4,050
Location: S01°12' E036°53'
just stole this from a tweet:-

My dad annoyed my mom calling her "Mother of 7" until the day she called him "Father of 4".
"the world is what you make of it, if you're going to sit and sulk, you're F'd" - Author Unknown
Ngong
#1496 Posted : Sunday, December 09, 2012 8:28:42 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/17/2012
Posts: 983
Location: Ngong Forest
C & P from a US blog for Afghan


ivanani B. in Afghanistan writes:

good morning sir
this is shivanani from india i want to do job in your company please give one opportunity
i'm looking for computer hardware & networking
side if any vacancy please contact me
think you sir

Posted on Wed Sep 29, 2010

Anastacia K.M. in Afghanistan writes:

Iwould like to work in afganistan.

Posted on Tue Sep 28, 2010

Angaar in Pennsylvania writes:

hi i like to in kabul only logistics i hard work i did interpeter job the usmc in farah and suth helman i was so happy in my job i was walking ewray day 25 km i speek pashto farsi urdu and english thank you good luck ewray one

Posted on Mon Sep 27, 2010

Prabaharan in India writes:

i want any jop

Posted on Mon Sep 27, 2010

Santhosh R. in the United Arab Emirates writes:

i wanna job at eraq or afghan. i am ready to do any job ,i ahve 2 years experience of data rntry operator.

Posted on Sun Sep 26, 2010

Lia in Georgia writes:

i would like to fined the job in afganistan or othe bases of us

Posted on Sat Sep 25, 2010

Muammad W.K. in Pakistan writes:

I would like to work in afghanistan
In this world there are a few good people and a few bad ones,a majority of us can be either depending on motivation!
ZZE123
#1497 Posted : Thursday, December 13, 2012 6:22:31 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 6/21/2008
Posts: 1,703


Find the Cat
The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem
bkismat
#1498 Posted : Monday, December 17, 2012 8:48:08 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 2,266
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt...
-Mark Twain
Impunity
#1499 Posted : Monday, December 17, 2012 9:30:53 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 18,834
Location: Masada
ZZE123 wrote:


Find the Cat


Its still hiding behind the scrap.I will see it when it comes out.
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

Intelligentsia
#1500 Posted : Tuesday, December 18, 2012 11:46:38 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,067
CP
FURTHER TRAFFIC ACT AMENDMENTS:-

1. Probox overtaking a Range Rover Ksh. 500,000 or life imprisonment.
2. If your horn is hooting at a low volume Ksh. 100,000.
3. Driving under the influence of alcohol:-
a) Tusker - Ksh. 10,000
b) Pilsner, Summit, Guinness - Ksh. 30,000
c) Napoleon, Kane extra -Ksh.50,000
d) Kumi Kumi -life imprisonment.

3. Carrying a married woman with boda boda kama amekukamata kuku style - death by stoning.

4. Talking on the phone while driving -
a) Iphone - 10,000
b) Hidiot (Ideos) -50,000
c) Kabambe - unanyang'anywa gari unaachwa na simu.
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