Bored?

No exciting verbal exchanges and fights in wazua, yet?

Play draughts.


http://www.jocly.com/jocly/draughts/play

@YesuWangu, what were you thinking jumping like that! It must be phangi with mbegu!

Radio,

that is mbhangi (with mbhegu) with hard water.

OUCH!!!!! to thos who love swimming. happy swimming wkend

@nonstop* isnt in such cases that one quips that this statement is correct literally and figuratively?

Aawaiting you soon

C&P

creative kenyans

#KCSE 2012 *Explain why the president of Mombasa was beaten
like a burukenge
(5mrks) *Using the formulae 1 lipgloss=200ksh,calculate

how long Ruth Matete 5 million prize of TPF5 will last?
(3mrks) *Giving reasons explain why luhya's cant be
emloyed at Kenchic? (10mrks) *You buy 25mb and upload a picture of Kalekye
Mumo,whats the probability of getting a bellow
2.0mb message 4rm safaricom.(5mrks) *Jane Mwende is paid 5000ksh to tilt her mouth for
1hour...calculate how much Kiraitu is paid.(20mrks) *Calculate the skirt lenght Mutula wanted for high
skul gals...putting in mind the phrase 'Si
unaona'(5mrks) kiswahili
*Fafanua kitendawili cha waziri mkuu Raila
Odinga:Uchaguzi ni wa farasi wawili..hao wengine ni
punda. *Come baby come....Elezea muktadha wa dondoo hii.
(2mrks) *Ukirejelea nyimbo ya p-unit 'U guy' elezea venye
neno 'Nyemelearing' limetumika. *Toa kibwagizo ukitumia nyimbo Maswali ya Polisi-
DNA kama shairi lako. Chemistry.
*Titrate 250ml of blue moon and 205ml of Kibao
Vodka.How many moles of ARV are there in the
solution? *Calculate the concentration of sugar in 'Utamu wa
Yesu' *If Jeff Koinange bench is always 'smoking hot'
Calculate the number of geust it will take b4 it burns
completely. *Calculate the amount of chemical compound in
terms of plastic found in Nicki Minaj body. *Give the scientific name of the bird found in twitter
Logo and explain why it cant fly. *Show how the following are related.
1.Gidi Gidi
2.Maji Maji
3.Miguna Miguna. *Classify the rocks used by Gor fans and waititu.
1.Volcanic
2.Sedimentary. *A luhya is boiling water.Calculate the probability of
him cooking Ugali,making tea or Taking a shower.

* thieved *

A bus going to NYERI from NAIROBI.
A girl's phone rings she picks it and says "Honey,.am on my way to Mombasa for the burial, ill call u whn i get there."
Another guy's phone rings,and the guy says "Sweetheart im on my way to Maseno University for the Masters Degree form. Please send me credit for the Trip."
Then another passenger's phone rings,and she says "Daddy,I'm on my way to Wilson Airport for the interview, i'll call u later."
This Old Man(who was listening) sitting at the back gets so provoked...He shouts..."DRIVER, STOP!...,WHERE EXACTLY IS THIS BUS GOING???! NKT OLD MAN!

Something to offend everyone (C/P) (should be funnier in America)


What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever. .

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in year 9.
Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.


What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine?'

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Pepper spray will do that to you .

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What's the difference between an Australian zoo and a English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... 'a recipe..'

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... Word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...'

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

Overheard actual conversation in a matatu
Conductor: Lipa fare madam
Madam :( Produces a ksh.1, 000 note)
Conductor: Eish hauna pesa ndogo fare ni mbao tu?
Madam: Sina pesa ndogo mimi ni mwalimu