You dont ask your mother in law to pick her daughter if the same daughter was not involved in pushing you to the wall.
The writing must have written just before he hang himself.

.....4hrs of commotion!!

Neighbour story is a difficult one. Should you go and check? Should you not go? Will he turn on me? What should I do? And many such dilemmas...

The reality is that quarrels will always be there. Just like in the jungle, dominance, submission, compromise, mistakes etc, and people react differently.

My best advice will be:
1. "Bibi na bwana waki*ombana nyumbani, wacha wenyewe mpaka waelewane"
2. If your wife has done a mistake, talk and try to resolve.
- First between the two of you,
- next close family members,
- next parents
- finally step (3) below...
3. If the dispute is non-reconcilable and you can't forgive her, then take her back to her mother. If she's kichwa ngumu, 'washana' naye, pack your important personal belongings and leave the house for her, make sure you can support the children edu, food, clothing, housing and go start new life!

I do not agree. You should never involve other family members in your manenos they'll always be bias and that would be the beginning of the end of the marriage. Either get a cleric or an independent counselor but always remember that God put in you all the power you'll need to resolve anything if you put ego aside.

Agreed. This has totally dissipated from our society. We are moving slowly to the I am an island character exhibited in the west. That notion of it takes a village is quickly and surely dying. These are the times I say some cultures should be maintained.
Yaaani can you imagine what was in that guys head? 1,2....5. Eish by the third toi you should be hapana, something is not adding up. TRAGIC!

Most Humans....and Kenyans...have an habit of watching everything from afar and make noise when its too late and something irreversible has been done. So many times have things like pushing, insults, mob justice, reckless driving etc ended in a bad way when it takes simple acts to stop these ills happening around us.

it takes just one moment of insanity and something unthinkable happens.

I think where there's a real threat to kill then it's already gone too far and the spouse should leave without a second thought. Family and friends can't help only a shrink hopefully.

I agree with @2012 coz even after you resolve your issues and are all lovey dovey, they will always remember that your spouse is the one who did.....

But someone does need to know when there is a threat to your life to avoid deaths like for that journalist girl in Umoja.

As for interfering in neighbour's quarrel with his/her spouse, if they die and you know you heard and did nothing, won't your conscience hold it against you? I'd rather err on the side of of interfering...

These things dont just happen.There is always lava boiling beneath before the major explosion. Tell tell signs, which we women love to ignore in the name of 'being there for kids/money/good life/fear of being ostracized by the society and fear of status change.

This is Africa.It's not easy for a woman with 5 kids to just walk out.We haven't reached that level.The same people begging her to step will be the first to condemn her.We discriminate too much, so women prefer to hold till death than be condemned.

On the bolded? you didn't just say that.
An abusive man killing himself or walking out is good riddance.(sorry for sounding crude but those poor kids faces haunt me).
I believe it would have been a great relief for the woman had he walked out earlier rather than stay and kill.
Tell me.Which is better? Struggling with 5 kids eating sukuma in peace, or eating bacon in between fights and threats?
You are likely to end up in mathare if you choose the latter.

What could be worse in this life than having 5 of your kids killed by the man you called hubby?
I doubt she will overcome this.I know I cannot.
Those memories would drive me mad.
Will you think about Philip or John or Peter or who?5 kids whose lives you have nurtured since suckling days?
You can clearly remember them calling you mummy their words,laughter,tears etc?
And thinking that you could not save them in time of need?
I can't begin to imagine what that woman is going through right this minute.
I pray that God comforts her.