My conclusion from many posts here,It looks like couples living apart may be likely to remain in love for a long time.Living under one roof can be a hell on earth these days .Isn't it so?

God Is God. All the time.

@Wairegi.Just be happy with the status quo. from the look of things from others experience it looks like you get missed just because you are far away.

Mkizoeana madharau dogodogo zinaanza.

Kwanza if you have to leave that job,make sure that you have another one immediately or atleast come alternative income.





God Is God. All the time.

@Mkristo,I tend to agree with you. My parents lived apart for most of their lives coz they were working in different towns,they always looked happy when we were together. Now in retirement they are having issues I think I experienced like five years ago in my marriage,with all due respects.

I will praise thee,O Lord my God,with all my heart: And I will glorify thy name forever more. Psalms 86:12

Me feels it better to be together than to stay apart.When you are together you get the opportunity to understand one another.You deal with matters quickly and first hand.The madharau kidogo kidogo are bound to be there whenever two or three human beings are staying together.Its what spices the relationship.You cannot avoid staying with your family at ndio wife asikutharau.The monotony may clip in but that can be balanced by who well you balance things.Going out,doing it diferently,comin late sometimes and pitaing with the door,smarking the kid sometimes even when he has done nothing wrong,at least wajue u r incharge.

pink

@all

Its not as bad guys but has its challenges. I left for Middle East after 5 yrs of marriage and i must say it has been rewarding. It depends on our diffrent situations. I manage to see my kids and chief of staff every 6 to 8 weeks and talk to my kind twice every day,at 6.30am before they go to school and in the evening. I know what homework they have on daily basis,it comes at acost but its worthy it. I have been to do things I was not able to do it my 10 plus years of working in Nairobi. Everybody appreciates my contribution,my kids are happy and confident,I spend every available minute with them whenever I am in Nairobi for example I drop my daughters to school and pick them up on daily basis for as long as I am in the country. I have talked to them and keep reminding them that I am doing what I am doing to secure their future. I have had challenges with my chief of staff but whenever this happens we dont postpone till I come home,we deal with them squarely,for me I say it as it is and life goes on. I dont plan to be away forever but once I have secured reasonable financial freedom,I will hop on the next flight home.

One thing i really cherish is getting home in the evening,and receiving that kids cheer of dad,sharing a sofa and having them climb all over me or just sit each on the side,and most of all,helping the boy through his homework and seeing his determination.

I don't know whether i can live away from that.

Life is too short.

My colleague is still recovering from the shock when his son called him uncle - he was posted to the TZ office about 3 years ago,I think married people should live together to build up the family. Obviously there are times when seperation is inevitable - it should not be extended.

living together follows the stages of group dynamics forming,storming etc so it is just pushing th forming a bit and delaying the storming which will eventually come. its better to deal with it early

my 2 cent


Nice

@ Mkristo and all

I agree,you guys are spot on. I dont plan to be out here for long although even long is relative,I would love to be back. However,there are many Kenyans who work and stay with their families but they dont spare anytime for the wife/kids etc. I have friends who never see their kids for a whole week yet they stay under the same roof.

@luttz & wedz and all

Thanks.

By the way I think as I air my views I am also telling myself the same,and not probably patronizingly saying to you. I am as much a victim of today’s busy world like everyone else and often times I find myself not giving enough to my family as I aught to.

On May 1,we got our 2nd born (son). Our first born,a son also,came before paternity leave was law. When second one came,I had a chance to take the leave and believe you me,I was kinda lost the first few days. As in,didn’t know much what to do. Other times when we take the normal leave we are busy doing other things,either chasing this and that deal,seeking some investment opportunity and much more. Leave therefore becomes time for business rather than rest hence you plan for it and even know exactly what you are up to when you take it. As for paternity,there was not much business cos it came suddenly and did not give me the time to plan for it.

But what is good about it is the fact that for the first time I was able to spend nearly 95% of the time at home with my wife and the two boys. We bonded like never before. Our marriage too was refreshed and it all was quite rewarding.

From that experience I am learning to spend more time with my family as well as take care of other businesses.




say it as it is

My hubby was working in Sudan. During one of his visits,our son called him mum while they were queing at the till in Uchumi. He wanted a sweet and he repeatedly called 'mum' and insisted that he be bought the sweet. Hubby was soo embarassed and he resolved to come back home. He felt he will make the money and loose the kids. Now he is back.