I wish someone had told me this a long time ago,I choose the humble submissive route and let my man do nothing for me because I didn't want to "stress" him with money talks or asking him to take me to decent food joints for our dates and he treated me like you would gum stuck under your shoe.
Sometimes he would contribute 100/= for the morning after pill and ask me to contribute the balance of 50/=
When it came to commitment he wanted a come we stay or to go to the attorney's because he said he couldn't afford a wedding or to pay any dowry.
We parted ways because apart from me working (paid attachment) a 9-5pm job and living with my parents who expected me to help out at home with dinner and chores -I had a younger brother and we had no househelp- he wanted me to go to his house daily after work and cook his dinner then clean his clothes on Saturday and visit his mother with fruits and chapati on Sunday after giving him "landing rights" the whole saturday/sunday night.
3months later he was seeing someone new and I would see them pass by our offices carrying bags of take away from expensive eateries and expensive wine.
He married her and the wedding was aired on the wedding show with glitz and glamor and he talked about how he had to give her a traditional wedding before she allowed him to marry her in church.
Its true,men judge you by the standards you set for yourself,if a man doesn't feel like he is sacrificing anything for you,be it money,time or commitment you lose value in his eyes,we value what we sacrifice for.
Time is a great teacher...unfortunately it kills all its pupils.Don't fight a battle if you gain nothing by winning.” Erwin Rommel
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I no longer used childish ways.