What's up with these brothers of the deceased giving widows a hard time? Some of these retrogressive practices should be put to rest.

http://www.nation.co.ke/.../-/10ric6y/-/index.html

NKTEEEEEEEEEST.

Primitive energy at its best!!

Dependants





*yawn*

Reeeeaaaaally? Ojode's mom was not his sole responsibility... kwani these brothers who are writing, they cant take care of their mother if Ojode is not there? What if Ojode died a poor man? Saitoti had a mother and other dependants too and we aren't hearing all this nonsense... In any case, when the body was taken for burial, didn't some of those extended family members start drama and said they do not recognise her? how now have they started recognising she was his wife? They arent even considering that he might have had loans and debts that needed clearing before anything else can be shared to anyone? Ama hiyo ni mzigo ya mama na watoto wake?

This sort of "dependency syndrome" is not healthy for any society.... Even when you are being helped, you need know that it is a 'favour'.... its not a right... the only people who have a right are the nuclear family and possibly, being Africans, the parents.... Anybody else, funga mshipi utafute yako.

Underneath all the noise and personal indiginations expressed here there is actually nothing wrong with what they have done. Contrary to what some might think here Ojode's widow is not the sole beneficiary of his estate. The mother if she was his dependant would be one. So would be any other child he might have had out of wedlock. And so would be the 'known' son.The proceeds of a deceased estate ought to be shared among all his dependants. Who those dependants are and their respective shares can only be established by probate.

On the payment of insurance covers that would of course depend on the terms, which we mostly have no clue.

For some reason, I was interested in McDoba's view on this issue and he has spoken.

what you said down there I agree with fully. You meet your mother the first time you come into this world, even before. But I highly doubt that the widow would completely neglect her mother in law. Besides the mother is mother to many so its more like contributing to the welfare of the elderly mother. What is the contribution of the other fully grown men who also call her mother?

In the proposal form for insurance, one usually indicates the dependants and even the percetage of the estate to be given to each should one die- this is like a will. Unless there are other kids, hii maneno ingine ni utamaduni duni - na ndio inarudisha watu nyuma.

Why can't people learn to respect the dead. If a man decides to marry a woman and stay with her, why should relatives force her out to go wherever when the man dies. Why didn't they convince the man (if they could) to send her away when he was still alive?

So as Mcreggae has put it, it is going to get dirty- my version of dirty is when grown men focus their primitive energy on fighting a widow when they should spend that energy doing something for themselves and their children. Just like in cases where fully grown men with beards wake up and go to the nearest 'maduka' to drink tea and mandazi, buy newspapers and discuss the politics (usually around one individual and what he thinks of everything) while their wives toil in the shamba and at the market and when its evening, they go home expecting to be served with kichwa ya samaki, meat stew or githeri with meat. Mind you when they are drinking the tea and mandazi, their wives and kids make do with sugarless uji for breakfast and kunde ugali for lunch. And when such men die, some other men cling around the homestead after the burial hovering around any wealth left behind and if not they would be dicussing on who should be allowed to hit on the widow's candy.

Mama Ojode deserves upkeep and care from the late Ojode’s household - that is not in debate!

We can estimate her monthly budgetary requirements to be around 50K or thereabouts given that she resides in the Countryside - barring emergencies and incidental costs such as medical bills etc.
Assuming this to be the case the kitty for her upkeep would need to be contributed to by all her Children shared equitably.

Taking it that she has 5 Children, the late Ojode’s wife obligation would be to avail Ksh 15K Monthly or thereabouts.

She may choose to give more (expected but not mandatory), though this is depended on various factors, not least how she is treated by her in-laws.

Mama Ojode should be advised not to let her other Children mislead her into antagonisng her departed Sons Wife along with Andy, her Grandson!

However, just as she deserves upkeep from Ojodes household, so does she have certain obligations towards them, chief among them recognition and not directing hostilities their way.

Wazuans both Male and Female; - How would you like your matter to be handled if, God forbid, you were to find yourself in Ojode’s situation!

unfortunately the drama has just started!! what i never understand is why a grown man/woman should start demanding part of his dead brothers/sisters estate why didn't they demand it while he was still alive.

heed the wise words of @marty and write a will

Asi!!! These politicians and shooting blanks!!!