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What constitutes a bad marriage?
albertross
#21 Posted : Tuesday, August 04, 2009 10:52:00 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 9/20/2007
Posts: 98
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage,there would have to be perfect people for that to be.
Thing is,a marriage is destroyed when we look down on our partners,refuse to climb down from our entrenched domestic positions.................there are so many reasons.
Suffice to say,go into marriage with an open mind and learn,I have been married for ten years and I can tell you I am still learning and this is a lifetime task.

Thinking is free...............so THINK!!
McReggae
#22 Posted : Tuesday, August 04, 2009 10:57:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
albertross,you finally here,been long.....really wanted to get to know your response somewhere on Biz section on car higher business thread!!!!!

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
kiterunner
#23 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 1:57:18 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 7/9/2011
Posts: 730
Location: Nairobi
.
our goals are best achieved indirectly
Dia
#24 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 2:06:15 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 3/30/2010
Posts: 176
kiterunner wrote:
.


Someone is on a roll to revive old threads without adding any value to the discussion. nkt!Shame on you
pariah
#25 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 2:17:16 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 11/24/2011
Posts: 833
Dia wrote:
kiterunner wrote:
.


Someone is on a roll to revive old threads without adding any value to the discussion. nkt!Shame on you



this could be the motivation

Lolest! wrote:
600Posts for veteran, 1200 posts for elder.

AlphDoti
#26 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 2:26:47 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
albertross wrote:
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage,there would have to be perfect people for that to be.
Thing is,a marriage is destroyed when we look down on our partners,refuse to climb down from our entrenched domestic positions.................there are so many reasons.
Suffice to say,go into marriage with an open mind and learn,I have been married for ten years and I can tell you I am still learning and this is a lifetime task.

Thinking is free...............so THINK!!


Where did @albertross go? Remember when we mistook him for @guka in Mbuzi season 1?
2012
#27 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 2:47:05 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 6,592
Location: Nairobi
I think most marriages stop working because the expectations on the other partner and not yourself are set too high. This will never work. Even in your business or employment, you have to set expectations on your self higher than those of your customers or employer otherwise even that relationship will not work well either.
The other thing especially for men is we marry a lady expecting to change her while we remain the same instead of marrying them because their strength is in who they are. I'm married and was guilty of this one.

BBI will solve it
:)
chiaroscuro
#28 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 2:56:35 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 2/2/2012
Posts: 1,134
Location: Nairobi
My philosophy: your marriage is doomed if you focus on what you can get from your spouse rather than what you can give. It is all about giving and not getting.
Djinn
#29 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 3:46:23 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/13/2008
Posts: 1,565
Impunity wrote:
Stop listening to stage managed nonsense on our FMs and you will be a happy man/woman.


The Hague...or Local Triburnal ama TJRC.



Applause Applause Applause Applause

Real rubbish...not sure if anyone tuned in on Monday when they were harping on about the chopper crash....a dead in the water topic. I no longer listen to Classic FM (after doing so for abt 5-6 years). I now listen to the kids chattering in the car...

Totally useless media and radio we have today...
Abunuasi
#30 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 3:50:05 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 8/25/2010
Posts: 97
Location: Kenya
We are a product of what we feed ourselves with. If you consume poison, don’t expect positive effects of that poison in your body. Maina et al are under a mission, superficially to attract as many listeners as possible through lies coupled with sex tales and exaltation. A critical analysis however reveals a more dangerous mission and this is to kill marriages and ideal families. This is a weapon from hell. Before you jump at me I have reasons for my statement
1. Why is it that majority and sometimes everyone that calls speaks ill of marriages?
2. Is Maina a marriage/family counselor to address family matters? How can someone who has never married tell you about marriage? Reliable sources tell of who he is and what he believes in as far as marriages are concerned.......

Marriages have their share of challenges but this is one of the best things that can happen to a man or woman so long as they have the right attitude, understanding and readiness. Marriages will be sweet when we grow up and stop loving our spouses emotionally and love them by choice. The choice you made to get that one out of the whole humanity should be translated to choice to love them all through.
I am speaking from a practically, been married for years and given a choice I will marry and remarry the very wife I got married to those years.
Dear ones let not your hearts be deceived, don’t incline your ears to sex intoxicating theories brewed in ungodly alters. Marriage was ordained by God and whoever has a contrary opinion belongs to the other master knowingly or unknowingly.
Let’s cherish and fight for our families. Our forefathers as much as they were not enlightened as we are stood for family values and principles and we are a product of that. Why do we behave more darkened than they were?
heavenly body
#31 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 4:00:26 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 7/31/2007
Posts: 146
A trail of thought ignited by Abunuasi's rather long post -

Question to married members:

If you could turn back the hand of time, would you marry the same person you are married to today?
Robinhood
#32 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 4:14:04 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/11/2008
Posts: 2,306
Impunity wrote:
Stop listening to stage managed nonsense on our FMs and you will be a happy man/woman.


The Hague...or Local Triburnal ama TJRC.


Are the letters to Pastor Kitoto in the Monday Daily Nation also staged? Same issues seems to rule. Just asking...
Great men are not always wise, neither do the aged understand judgement...
Dia
#33 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 5:03:09 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 3/30/2010
Posts: 176
[quote=Abunuasi]We are a product of what we feed ourselves with. If you consume poison, don’t expect positive effects of that poison in your body. - Garbage in garbage out.

Marriages have their share of challenges but this is one of the best things that can happen to a man or woman so long as they have the right attitude, understanding and readiness. Marriages will be sweet when we grow up and stop loving our spouses emotionally and love them by choice. The choice you made to get that one out of the whole humanity should be translated to choice to love them all through. - A truer word has not been spoken.

Applause Applause Applause
Dia
#34 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 5:05:03 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 3/30/2010
Posts: 176
heavenly body wrote:
A trail of thought ignited by Abunuasi's rather long post -

Question to married members:

If you could turn back the hand of time, would you marry the same person you are married to today?


Goes both ways, would my spouse marry me now if they knew what they now know?
AlphDoti
#35 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 5:52:19 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
Trust is the number one ingredient. The moment you make your marriage a community thing, you are in the right track to failure.

@chiaroscuro it is not realistic to say you can only focus on what I can give to my partner.
It's partnership, where you both have expectations: I know what my wife expects from me, and there are some things I expect from her.
And wife should know that husband is different from other men. And husband should know wife's different from other women.
For example: I expect to find a meal when I get home in the evening. Why? Because we've discussed our duties. But that does not mean I can never cook. Of course I do cook sometimes, out of my own choice, not through a duty roaster. I also changed diapers sometimes, when I felt I wanted to. And she knows this.

@Abunuasi spot-on!

@heavenlybody This is the same tricks the FM guys use. You're not helping here.
Some people here will choose the same person again.
Some will not because of genuine reasons. But it does not mean they will say marriage is bad thing.

Exactly what @Dia has said should be used in marriage: consciouslly apply the right attitude, understanding and readiness.
tycho
#36 Posted : Thursday, June 14, 2012 6:25:32 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
When each party in the game thinks that there are some insoluble problems facing them, and that conversation is a waste of time, then its a bad marriage.
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