!

-You buy innerwears at Muthurwa market & on fbk you write "Love Victoria secrets"
#God is watching you.
-You are a married woman with 2 kidsand on fbk you always claim to be single
#God is watching.
You are 21yrs old & you are dating a man of 54 yrs old,your update says"Can't wait to see my baby." is that ur baby or u...r daddy!?!??
#God is Watching
You are heading ocha and stranded at machakos country bus and you update " flight delayed "
#God is watching you
You are drinking KEG & K.C you updateeti Johny Walker on the rocks
#God is watching you.
You are in the house watching inspekta Mwala and you update that you are watching 'The Avengers' at the iMax 20th century cinema. #God is watching you.
Unalima shamba and you update you had a tiresome day in the office
#God is watching you.

A Girl realized that she had grown hair in between her legs. She got
worried and ask her mother about it. Her mother calmly said "that part
where hair has grown is called Monkey and be proud that your monkey
has grown hair" ..... the girl smiled.
At dinner, she told her elder sister "my monkey has grown hair". Her sister
smiled and said "that's nothing , mine is already eating bananas"

Mother fainted..............

Jameni......

noma, the pple fro butere mumias, chida ya matumichi...

C&P
"little Johnny... Little Johnny is returning home from the store swinging a loaf of bread in one hand. His other hand in his pants pocket. Off in the distance, Father Joseph sees little Johnny and considers, "This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to little Johnny." Father Joseph approaches little Johnny and says, "I see that you have the Staff of Life in one hand." "Yep," replies little Johnny. "And I have a loaf of bread in the other!""

you lost your sanity

In a petrol station:

"Don't smoke here, your life maybe worthless but petrol is very expensive, please waste your worthless life somewhere else"

C & P

2012-2013 Budget Summary -Kwa budget ya ma sufferer:

Kwa budget ya ma sufferer:

1. Wasee wa vitz wanadai gava
introduce petrol ya sachets.
2. Wapunguze bei ya Mutura na
Mahindi choma.Kwani wanatumia Gas
kuchoma Mahindi?
3. Siku za mwizi ziongezwe zikue
ka 68 ju kumekauka.
4. bei ya iPhone ireduce ju mtu
alishabite hio apple.
5. tissue paper itolewe the second
sheet. inakuwanga ya nini by the way?
KBC ionyeshe game za Euros. Ni DSTV
tutalipia ama ni rent?
6. Ile light inakuanga at the end of the tunnel izimwe ku save energy.
7. Blue band na SuperLoaf washikane
tuuziwe mkate ikiwa
already imepakwa BB
8. Iyo shamba enye iko between a
rock and a hard place, ma youth
wapewe tupande maindi
9. Turudishiwe hiyo Bob iko kwa jina ya
Collymore Ipigane na Dollar.
10. Miguna Miguna anyang'anywe
jina moja wapatie wenyewe hawana
majina kama Nameless .
11. Gava ifungue
Mr.Broke.Hatuwezi bei ya Mr.Price
12.kama fegi ni 7 bob ambia
shopkeeper aivute mpaka ifike ya
5 bob akuuzie
13.Taxation on weaves and other
fake hair should go up to curb the
killing of poor horses.
14. If you spend more than 30K on a
chic umelipa deposit ya dowry. Make
sure you show her parents
the receipts.
15. PK irudi 4bob
16. Brookside Dairies should offer a
Cheap 100ml pack of milk called
BrokeSide
17. Elections zifanywe kwa FB na
Twitter ndio ikuwe cheap. Balance
wapatie masufferer wajisort.
** Jun 14 Thu 18:46 **
Amor: *Open letter to the Minister of Finance* By Ìgwé Sonko Sk Dear Minister of finance Hon. Njeru Githae,

Hii cost of living imepanda sana bana. So as you read the budget, kama inawezekana, naomba serikali ipunguze bei ya samaki. Samaki zimekuwa expensive sana. Kwani zina swim kwa petroli? Nkt! Pia, badala ya avocado kukam na mbegu ikuwe inakam na mayai ndani instead. Donught pia ni problem. Tafadhali punguzeni size ya hiyo shimo. Ama hata mtoe kabisa juu hata si tamu. And lastly, naomba pia coca cola wakuwe wanajaza soda mpaka hapo kwa kifuniko.

Sincerely,
Sk the common mwananichi