@Moibutu; After jobs,the second greatest threat to a marriage is secrets!

Don't keep anything from your wife...remember,she is on your side and when she disagrees,it is not because she wants to finish you; no! It is because she wants to improve you!!

Behind the gardens...Behind the wall...Under the tree (Including: Red...Dark Blue...Yellow)

@mukiha...right there you sound like a very 'domesticated' man.Kudos to your wife,amekukaza sawa sawa.

@mukiha

In theory,that is how life with your better half is supposed to be. You replace I with WE. What is it in practice? Please tell us.

I work away from my family and i only see the every after two weeks. I just wish i would have more time with them and i have contemplated just leaving the damn job looking for something else to do.

Have a young boy a girl and it always breaks my heart when i have to leave them and travel back to work place.

You never know what you go until it is taken away from you.



Your Moment-by-Moment Choices Create the Big Picture

@wairegi;
I feel you my brother...I too have a son and a daughter,and I can't imagine having to work away out of town. Yes,one can say 'hiyo pesa ikae!!'

Pole sana. Pray and something will work out.

Behind the gardens...Behind the wall...Under the tree (Including: Red...Dark Blue...Yellow)

@mukiha

Congrats for making it. Been in this thing for 15 yrs and still trying. That why i ask every morning what about she intends to complain about for the day. Whatever it is,there is no further incentive to ask it again as iam already aware of it.

I have heard of that being 'ONE' story many times. Will give it a try when I marry my second wife next year.

@all,
Thanks for all your comments. Was held up in meeting and have just come back.
As for mariage I have always involved madam in all decisions. I was working in Kericho and after the PEV I had to ask for a transfer back to NBI. Before then,I really used to miss them. Travelling every weekend which to me was never enough. I had never admired any other woman,leave alone falling into 'temptations'
All along my wife and I have been seriously discussing on all issues and drawing conclusions together.
Since last year,she has really been making me feel uncomfortable while in my house. Always looking for some silly nonsense to fuss about. Now I think I am fed up.
But I don't want it to go to extremes. I have talked to her told her to be accomndative but ..aah..can't understand.
Yes,I thought I am the problem..I have engaged her to tell me where I go wrong..she could not mention even one...now i thought I should handle her differently..she is a teacher..primary school..aaai..men,its more than can be written here.

@mukiha,thanks for your pastoral advise..remember its not attitude. I am telling you the reality. It was never like this before..things have changed to the worse..we used to have a nice fellowship..I mean..

tash

@kish.

I feel you.I feel you so well.I know from experience that women more often than not try change their dudes to be what their 'ideal' guy should be.A wife will always be insecure especially if you are the quite type and seeming to mind your own business without much fuss.She'd want to control your life and micromanage your affairs to a level where it can be bothersome.So the best way to handle the whole situation is to be a man.Remind her that you married her and not the other way round.The old men of yester years used to marry two,three wifes and each respected one another.The man remained the overall 'jamba' and life was good.Its upon the man to be incharge of his family by exerting your authority and being at the top of things.Have a clear way (strategy)of handling family matters.Don't be swayed by your wifes whinning and yelling.You can be taking her to expensive hotels daily and she won't get enough.She's being a woman.Thats her and she can't change and don't think she started now .she was like that before you married.Do you know that majority of our ladies would don't stop you from smoothering them with goodies even if you are shyloking to do so.Wait until you say you are broke.Utakipata.Bro put up and be a man this is your show.You the lead acter.Do not quit.Real men run their marriages they don't quit.


pink

@pinkpanther,
You have put it so well.
I think that is what I have been waiting for. It sounds to be the solution.
I got to do it this weekend...will advise you on the results.
This thing of being an obedient,loyal joe does not work at all. We cant be like that! These ladies take advantage...I must take her back to her original position...a wife..not a master..
By the way,am I not the Head of the Family? I will stand up and be a MAN!

tash

May be I should change the topic. Maybe not.
All this time,when I stood firm and commanded,she listened and changed. She only began the whole mess another day. Infact this week. I realised she has started ferrying some food items we buy at the end of the month to her brother. Oflate I have been seeing her brother's wife at home and when I am around,there is total silence..
So I questioned all these..the watchie told me the guy has been visiting there also and leaves everyday with some full paperbags..Then I started seeing the point..That of late I have been buying alot of items and even when we have shopped according to the budget. ..after a while..oooh this has kwishad..when kids ask for something...oooh ask your dad to give us money..friends,this became too much.
I was very tired yesterday and decided I should go home earlier than usual..So as I was resting,she brought up the topic which ended very badly. I had to go away..for a drink..in a far away pub....in SouthB.. all the way from Roysambu..where we shifted to recently.
In SouthB I found a former collegemate...a lady...she used to be very quiet and I never knew she drinks..after recognizing each other..men..we started..I enjoyed every bit of her company...danced...drunk and drunk..went to her house in the neigbourhoods.....did it all..still enjoying everything..It was soooo sooo wonderful...I left in the morning still with alot of hangovers...went home and the sight of my wife made me feel sooooo guilty...
Friends....its that guilt which is killing me now...How do I overcome it? What should I do to recollect the already poured water?
I am at a loss...I dont know what to tell my wife who was chasing me away from home indirectly.....
This is my first time in our 8yrs of marriage..that I have broken the faithfulness to her.... I actually need to go back to those days of being faithful to her.. I also want us to have a better life in my family..
Thinking I should ask for transfer from NBi to outside town where I can only be seeing them on weekends like before..
Please give me your advise..

tash