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Married Bachelor,,,,working away from home?
Rank: Member Joined: 6/30/2008 Posts: 63
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I have noted that there are quite a number of Married Bachelors - men who are working away from Home. I am one Married bachelor,and I am tired of this. Fridays are like a prison break - just too much in a hurry to see wifey and kids. And very early Monday morning,Hit the Road. Its too tiring,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,where are you all married bachelors!!!! been in this trap before? How did u cope? Ladies,any experience?
the world has enough for everyone
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2007 Posts: 8,776 Location: Cameroon
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Been there dan that. I got wrecked,love life completely ruined partly by the distance and a narrow minded totally irrational woman. If that lady in ua lyf is cool with it,u r luckiest. I used 2 get exactly the same feeling. Can silence be misquoted? TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/28/2006 Posts: 1,799
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u guys r giving me jitters...im just bout to embark on that path and its been nagging my mind for the last 2 months.. My problem is you are going into the unknown.....your better half might be ok with it at first but i believe it has alot of loopholes....... Personallly iv bn contemplating quiting and hustling my own biz jst to be with my young family all the time or get another job but have too many commitments... this is a really good discussion... Guys whove been there done that pls give ur inputs..... Hope they are better than @simonkabz experience..
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Rank: Member Joined: 2/5/2008 Posts: 3
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Am already there and its bad,,,bad,.......terrible!!!!!
No amount of money should make you leave your young family alone. It doesnt matter whether your woman is ok or not. But simply just dont take that path.
Dont say you were never warned!!.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/28/2006 Posts: 1,799
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manguiria..... Please substantiate...
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 10/6/2007 Posts: 1,177 Location: Nairobi - Kenya
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never happened to me... i am lucky... but i dread it.... it is very tempting life and can bring about unpleasant experiences... it calls for commitment and sacrifices... but it is men who does it... it pays for those who are never taken astray... When you run so fast to get somewhere,you miss the fun of getting there... Life is not a race,so take it slowly.... When you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/31/2008 Posts: 116
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I lived away from my family for one year. Used to visit home after every two weeks,almost 10 hours drive. Really suffered as I tried to please my family and employer at the same time. At one time,it affected my work. I made a decision to come back on a pay-cut. But its worth the sacrifice since I had a young family.
@Fuchu,I really understand your case,why cant you relocate your family to your area of work? you need to balance family and career. But I always put my family first before anything else.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/28/2006 Posts: 1,799
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seriously there is no one who has anything positive to say about this... Wendz?
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Rank: Member Joined: 2/3/2009 Posts: 112
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i think the positive side is that
You develop faster than one who stays with the wife. Kisii 's normally leave their wives at home. But then unapata wanawake wao wameleta development sana. Akina ngwono (luos) will stay with their wives in Nai,they totally forget home.All the house wives do is kusengenyana na kupigana kwa plot.
Sleeping like a little baby
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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@chemos
You asked for my opinion. I have experienced it two ways. In my childhood,at some point,my dad worked away from home and came home every two weeks. As a kid,i dint find anything wrong with it because whenever he came,we could play with him,he brought us goodies and all. As for my mom,no idea how she took it or how she managed but yes,she helped him alot with developments and of course she was a no-nonsense type so there was no discussion on discipline!
In my second experience,been there,done that and came out with enough injuries you would think a loaded 10-wheeler ran over me! BUT,i still believe that it is possible for it to work. The fact that i had a nasty experience does not mean you will go through the same too. No. You are unique,you are different,your situation is different. But all in all,you can leave your family if you will manage to visit frequently,make time for your family,you have an understand wife/husband,you can manage to keep the communication from whereever you will be,and you do not intend to be away for EVER! I mean,for a long time. Lets face it,sometimes for some reasons,circumstances force us to be away from our families - that fact alone can not break the family. its how you communicate,trust,respect,and commit to each other. Dont we see so many families falling apart yet they live under the same roof?
But @chemos,trust me,I would do it all over again! Life is a risk,whether you take it or not,it still is a risk.
@Simonkabz
Pole sana boss. Enjoy your every bit of life whether single,married or married bachelor. Live your life at present,forget your past and look forward to an exciting future..... After all,thats all you got,your life.
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
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Rank: Member Joined: 6/26/2008 Posts: 365
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@Wendz,I feel you. Had the same kind of experience from childhood. In adulthood,one year of separation felt like 20 years,we could not connect and felt like strangers when we met,so since I was the one suffering,I resigned from my job which I dearly loved,packed my belongings and joined him. Phew,I can say the sacrifice is well worth it. I will praise thee,O Lord my God,with all my heart: And I will glorify thy name forever more. Psalms 86:12 If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love - Maya Angelou
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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@ jacy
'we could not connect and felt like strangers when we met'
You couldnt have put it any better!!
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
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Rank: User Joined: 6/27/2008 Posts: 709 Location: Velayat-e Faryab
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@Fuchu Men,now you are talking. Was married to a Spanish lady who used to travel from one corner of the globe to the other due to the nature of her work. Used to travel with her once in a while but after our first born,she started staying away for months. Men,now I have to fend for myself and a four yr boy. I will never encourage one to marry and work far and away from home within the first ten years. However,after ten years,its okay to agree you go to your shags while she works in Nai so that you can develop where both of you will spend your sunset years. However,if she is the one to go to shags first,ensure she has plenty at hand to take care of,I.e.,keep the kids coming,grade cows,invite relatives etc Pole Wendz before unishambulie. @Wendz You can leave your family for work but in most cases,when the family is young,husband and wife should live in the same house on a daily basis mpaka when you start boring each other,one can go start working in Mombasa and the marriage will always feel fresh when you come home after two weeks. @Skodhe Hii nini ‘kusengenyana na kupagana kwa plot’ Maybe you meant Kugawana kwa plot. Don’t mind me old boy. They walk among us,and they reproduce. Go overdrive in purchasing the goods when there's blood on the streets, expecially if the blood is your own
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 10/6/2007 Posts: 1,177 Location: Nairobi - Kenya
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marital life is full of ups & downs... you can live away from your family not because you got jobs at different places (which you don't want to let go) but coz you cannot make ends meet,e.g you live in nrb and your job cannot cater for your family's needs so you take them to your rural home and continue hustling in the town... as for fuchu he is lucky he is having it hard coz he got job away from where the spouse is working from...this means at the end of the day they will still got two sources of bread winning...(and that can console their living apart) depending on their priorities they will deliberate their way forward... When you run so fast to get somewhere,you miss the fun of getting there... Life is not a race,so take it slowly.... When you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 10/6/2007 Posts: 1,177 Location: Nairobi - Kenya
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@ surealligator na wewe ni mnoma...! are you still married or...? When you run so fast to get somewhere,you miss the fun of getting there... Life is not a race,so take it slowly.... When you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend
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Rank: Member Joined: 12/8/2008 Posts: 359
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Tried it one time but as already stated here,conversations start to get awkward. IMHO,separation is to be resisted at all costs. We are all human and at some point,something's gotta give. Even the Bible warns against wives and husbands nyimaing each other for too long lest they give daimonos a window of opportunity. Me thinks this is even more critical for younger couples.
@Jacy26 - That was a bold but very wise move.
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 234
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as someone said sometimes circumstances can force.....
now what about long distance relationship.......am just involving myself .......and i dont know wht to expect......
any advice.........bearing in mind you need to know each other better.......any experience?
Bother not about yesterday's mistake,try to correct it today and avoid it tomorrow.
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Rank: Member Joined: 3/17/2008 Posts: 567 Location: Nairobi
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I once heard Caro Mutoko say that if a wife is one who cleans the house,washes the dishes,warms your food and prepares your bath,she also wants a wife.  Want to be a millionaire.... plant a million cabbages and sell them at a bob...
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Rank: Member Joined: 3/23/2007 Posts: 127
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yes you can...but communicate before hand... i've been married for 10 yrs and it was clear from the beginning that my job involved lots of travel... lately i can only travel home 2-3 times a year... & yeah the strain is getting to me... lakini investments sio mbaya
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/29/2008 Posts: 170
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@ pablo... lol thats a good one....
it can go either way,situations ni nyingi,zingine zashika na zingine hazishiki....... picture this....a friend of mine and all her sibblings (they are 6 in total) were born in july,coz the dad used to work for nyayo tea zone of them days and he could only get his leave in november... the employer couldnt allow any visitors and he wasnt allowed to leave the work place any other time so he had to wait for november..... july is like xmas for them but u can imagine what the parents went through waiting for each other for a whole year.......
Its just me whatever choice you make in life make sure that you can live with it.
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Married Bachelor,,,,working away from home?
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