C&P
The Bet

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right)! The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets." The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady than said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 A.M. as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his
balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he
was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 A.M., the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet $25,000
says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the beta gain and the old
lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. “Well, okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell’s the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00A.M. today, I'd have the Bank of Canada’s president’s balls in my
hand."

Discussing politics with this KPA lady, I ask her who her prefered presidential candidate is, she answers, 'Uhulu', I ask why Uhulu, she says, 'he is lich so he cant be involved in colluption'. Then she asks what I think about Uhuru, I tell her that his supporters need speech theLapy!

i found this interesting !:

When your up, your friends know who you are. When you're down, you know who your friends are!!

1.F***ing once a week is good for your health but its harmful if done every day.
2.F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind & body.
3.F***ing refreshes you.
4.After F***ing dont eat too much go for more liquids.
5.Try to do f***ing in bed cause it can save your valuable energy.
6. F***ing can even reduce your cholestrol level.
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FASTING is good for your health
God bless your Dirty mind

Julie Gichuru FB status: Going to South Africa, yaaay!! (Jacob Zuma likes this)

C&P

a prostitute died of AIDS ...Her grandmother went to pack up her clothes ..saw a G-string n went like;

**HII UKIMWI NI MBAYA... INAKULA MPAKA SURUALI**

Ways to annoy others...

• In a meeting, If you have a glass, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

• Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

• Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

• Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

• Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

• Follow a few paces behind someone, humming a silly tune.

• Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

• Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

• Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

• Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

• Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

• Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

• Holla random numbers while someone is counting.

• Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

• Staple papers in the middle of the page.

• Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.


• Honk and wave to strangers.


• Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

• Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

• Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

• ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

• dont use any punctuation either


• Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

• Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

• Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their salad.


• Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

• Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

• Ask people what gender they are.

• Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains and keep doing that daily.


• Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

• Leave your Christmas decor up until September.

• Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

• Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

• Wear a LOT of cheap cologne.

• Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

• Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.


• Never break eye contact.


• Invite lots of people to other people's parties.