Wamaina, are you MTAKAVITU?

Yeah, very late

By the way Happy New year Guka wa bijuti (what the heck does bijuti mean?) Ngai akurathime!!!

C & P

After 2 Years Of Selfless Service, A Man Realized That He Has Not Been Promoted, No Transfer, No Salary Increase No Commendation And That The Company Is Not Doing Any Thing About It. So He Decided To Walk Up To His HR Manager One Morning And After Exchanging Greetings, He Told His HR Manager His Observation. The Boss Looked At Him, Laughed And Asked Him To Sit Down Saying. My Friend, You Have Not Worked Here For Even One Day.

The Man Was Surprised To Hear This, But The Manager Went On To Explain.

Manager:- How Many Days Are There In A Year?
Man:- 365 Days And Some Times 366

Manager:- How Many Hours Make Up A Day?
Man:- 24 Hours

Manager:- How Long Do You Work In A Day?
Man:- 8am To 4pm. I.E. 8 Hours A Day.

Manager:- So, What Fraction Of The Day Do You Work In Hours?
Man:- (He Did Some Arithmetic And Said 8/24 Hours I.E. 1/3(One Third)

Manager:- That Is Nice Of You! What Is One-Third Of 366 Days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 In Days)

Manager:- Do You Come To Work On Weekends?
Man:- No Sir

Manager:- How Many Days Are There In A Year That Are Weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays And 52 Sundays Equals To 104 Days

Manager:- Thanks For That.. If You Remove 104 Days From 122 Days,
How Many Days Do You Now Have?
Man:- 18 Days.

Manager:- OK! I Do Give You 2 Weeks Sick Leave Every Year.
Now Remove That14 Days From The 18 Days Left.
How Many Days Do You Have Remaining?
Man:- 4 Days

Manager:- Do You Work On New Year Day?
Man:- No Sir!

Manager:- Do You Come To Work On Workers Day?
Man:- No Sir!

Manager:- So How Many Days Are Left?
Man:- 2 Days Sir!

Manager:- Do You Come To Work On The (National Holiday )?
Man:- No Sir!

Manager:- So How Many Days Are Left?
Man:- 1 Day Sir!

Manager:- Do You Work On Christmas Day?
Man:- No Sir!

Manager:- So How Many Days Are Left?
Man:- None Sir!

Manager:- So, What Are You Claiming?
Man:- I Have Understood, Sir.
I Did Not Realise That I Was Stealing Company Money All These Days.

Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!

Have A Nice Day.

HR = HIGH RISK

Imagine a world without Luos???????
SAD...............
VERY SAD.................
READ ON .....................................

Doctor : What happened to your arm?

Oludhe : I broke it.

Doctor : Where and How did that happen?

Oludhe : Okey. It was a normal Saturday afternoon. I was on the second floor balcony of that my house in Karen, not the one in Lavington sip...

Doctor : Is that where you broke your arm,the balcony?

Oludhe : No! no ... I was sipping that my scotch whisky slowly... you know my son recently came from the UK and he brought me some blue label. Anyway... as I continued sipping, I realised that the sun's rays were not getting directly to me, as the satellite dish was blocking them. Before I could instruct the domestic engineer to automatically turn away the dish, my butler James came up the balcony and informed me that there was this call on my social cellular phone . I reminded him to always bring the cellular up instead of calling me. As I hurried down the marble escalator ...

Doctor : I guess that is when you...

Oludhe : No, as I was going down I noticed the garage door was open and a car alarm was on. I stopped to check and indeed the new model Prado was missing. I knew Mama Akinyi my beautiful second wife had taken it. Akinyi is our second daughter, now in Boston USA and is named after my late grand mother, who passed away in 1972 after a sort illness. I have always warned Mama Akinyi never to use the 4 by 4 on weekends, because of the recent spate of car-jackings. I always advise her to either use the Mercedes 230E or the BMW 325I which are not very attractive for thugs. That reminds me, I will have to tell my secretary to call "car-track " first thing on Monday – Yawa! I need to update my mobility inventory with them.So as I was saying....

Doctor : (With some laughter) Yes Mr Oluthe, car theft incidences are rising and it is becoming a dangerous place. But how did you break your arm?

Oludhe : Yes I was coming to that. On my way to pick the cell tel I heard a hissing sound. I stopped to check where it was coming from. Ahh, it was from the bathroom.. Mama Akinyi, for some reason, had left the Jacuzzi on. Luckily the temp and speed were at the minimum. I usually recommend such speed and temp so that we do not overload the UPS support system , especially when our son's home theatre system is on .

Doctor : Mr Olu...

Oludhe : Just wait... So I when I picked up the phone, I said Hello, Hello...Hello, but nothing. I became upset because I think the caller from state house had disconnected, I cant understand why he didn't leave a message after the beep.All my un-answered calls including the car mobiles are automatically redirected to a CAMS system. Doc, a CAMS is a "Central Answering Machine System ". Anyway, on my way back I did not notice the protruding wire from the satellite dish. I had on many occasions told MultiChoice to send in a qualified techni...

Doctor : ...is that where you tripped?

Oludhe : No, as I was avoiding the wire, I tripped on the Multichoice 250 channel decoder and fell on the 200 year old classical family piano..........

Doctor : Thank you. Such an expensive trip will cost you only 850.

Oludhe: hands over the money excitedly...)

Doctor : Not Kenya shillings, Dollars!

Oludhe : Aii....yawa.....then I shall write you a cheque drawn from my
overseas account with Fast Boston Bank Massachussets....you can not go
wrong on that one omera.

Pass it on and let a Luo be happy.
Forwarded stuff