C&P

BANKING ETIQUETTE



A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a damn checking account."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"


"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account right now!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank."

So saying, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her situation. They both return and the manager asks the old geezer, "What seems to be the problem here?"

"There's no damn problem," the man says, "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"

"I see," says the manager, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"

c & P
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

Masai alitongoza dem kwa club.
Wakati wanatiana dem akawa
anaonesha maufundi kwa kumweka
chini Masai na kumkatikia.

... Masai kuona
vile akamuuliza dem;
Masai:Hifi nani ametongosa mwensie?
Dem:wewe!
Masai:nani nalipia gesti?
Dem:wewe!
Masai:nani natoa ela?
Dem:wewe!
Masai:Sasa mbona wewe natomba mimi?

A drunk falls down from 2nd floor. A dozen people rush towards him to offer help and one chap asks him "Boss, what happened?" The drunk stutters back "Sijui, hata mimi nimefika tu hapa saa hii"

McGregor: Can i have some acetylsalicyclic acid,please?

PHARMACIST: Do you mean aspirin?

McGregor: Thats it! I always forget the word.

Naona unafikiria Xmas tena.Ushawahi fanya hesabu ya hiyo siku?Hebu fikiria;kutravel hapa na pale,thao nne,kushiba ovyo thao saba,kubuy nguo mpya tenga mbili,kwenda out na mabeste thao nne.Boss,una doh!Usisahau kujiharibia sleep.Achana na mpango wa xmas.Pika sukuma wiki.Epuka hasara!

@jah man...

How do you ask for actal??? I know you buy that so often!

C&P

It is the month of december 2011, in Nyeri, Central Kenya. It is raining, and the town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in

debt, and everybody lives on credit. Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

• He enters the only hotel, lays 3 notes of KES. 1000/= on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

• The hotel proprietor takes the KES. 3000/= and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

• The butcher takes the KES. 3000/=, and runs to pay his debt to the pig farmer.

• The pig farmer takes the KES. 3000/=, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of feed and fuel.


• The supplier of the feed and fuel takes the KES. 3000/= and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave

her "services" on credit.

• The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the KES. 3000/= to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented

when she brought her clients there.

• The hotel proprietor then lays the KES. 3000/=back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his KES. 3000/=, after saying that he did not like any

of the rooms, and leaves

Nyeri town. No one earned anything, however, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly how the world is doing business and barely surviving today!

what do u call that arsenal fan that refused to resume his duties at the PM office? miGOONER miGOONER

But i thought that is the way the world should be LIVING. Mmmh?