Got involved in a wedding committee where the lady was not working and the jama had to foot their part of the contribution for the wedding. One of the issues agreed upon was for the lady to hire a wedding gown - shock on us when she withdrew funds that had been raised and bought a gown at Ksh 45K!

She even insisted on an evening party at a city hotel where we were being charged 1,500 per person. Confirmed a number of her friends were to turn up - which they didn't and we had to settle a bill of 30k for the no-shows.

This was before my wedding and it taught us quite a lesson - we saved for it and did not demand contributions from friends though they gave what they could. But the greatest contibution was the logistical support offered which ensured everything flowed smoothly. After the wedding we were able to host all our friends to a party at our cost. For those friends I participate and contribute during their weddings.

@jahman....
wedding is for the families involved and their closest friends, end of story. All those other reasons being advanced here for setting con-committees are all vague and will remain that way for ever. Nothing can ever ever change that.

So if i am your close family member / friend you can put me in your committee for logistics and MAYBE a little financial assistance. And it should be about KUPANGA harusi, not KUCHANGIA harusi. Kuchangia harusi kazi yenu na familia zenu.

There is too much abuse of this whole thing.. imagine now a guy suggesting "if all here just get 10% of people on your phone contacts contribute we shall be able to meet this budget deficit" How now do you even think of that? Kama wewe na mpenzi wako na familia zenu hamna pesa ya kufanya hiyo harusi hapana sumbua watu bure.

King, najua wewe hapana panga hii kitu......now that you are my close friend, I wonder how I forgot to tax you during mine....

This blogger has 'beef' with weddings...but for a different reason http://jeffseventhorizon.wordpress.com/ :)

I once attended one such commitee where the budget was 550K and when I asked the devil's question of how much the couple was going to contribute, I was met with unspoken fury. Pressed, they said their contribution was 70K. I never returned to the subsequent meetings and waited for the wedding day where I brought my gift of a rather highly priced duvet as my gift. I didn't have any problem buying the gift but wouldn't have contributed any amount of money to this monkey-business-wedding-commitee.

I need to mention that this wedding eventually took place at a cost of Kshs. 195,000 (minus the costs of cars, which were donated by friends. In fact since I arrived at the girls home the night before, I also offered my car's back seat to carry some of those small kids that carry flowesr and what have you. The couple increased their cash contribution to 150k. It wasn't a glossy wedding, but it was by all means decent, well attended (the church was full) and the happiness was real. 2 and three quarter years later, the wife shows avery sign of happiness. Don't know so much about the guy but I bet he is too.

What people miss is that a marriage is not the wedding.

McReggae, even if you insist, these "bloodhounding" committees are morally inapproporaite and socially unacceptable and this will still remain true even if they continue to exist in the year 2030.

heheheheh, i dont know if it is the BEEF that is big or his WORDS . good read though

Who is supporting thievery?

Are you totally against committees for fundraising? If not then tuko pamoja.

I'm not married and not even close to. I do not think I will do a big wedding but that does not mean I will not attend my friends' committees.

Most guys do this: they set a budget which they know they can meet at least 2/3. e.g buy shares. They will then ask the comm to cotribute hoping that the help they get from friends will help them save on their cash and use that cash for another project.

Never seen that as immoral, it's a societal merry-go-round, as I said earlier. Leo kwangu kesho kwako.

It is absurd to set a wedding you clearly can't afford 2/3 of the cost. It is also unfair to set targets for members ati 10k. In fact, I always set ceilings for my friends depending on closeness and do not adjust it regardless of the coaxing that happens in the meetings.

For many men, the wedding day (and other unnecessary stresses like dowry)is a thing we would love to avoid but you do it for your sweetheart and family.

Yep, all one needs to do is set a maximum beyond which they won't contribute. Say you want to give 2000 bob. Do not give more than this even if the wedding is for 800k. The couple will sort themselves out on the bal.

Lolest! Lolest! Lolest!

Dearest Lolest!

You want to get married because of a wedding?

Sigh......

My two pence on why weddings are unnecessarily expensive.

Men live beyond their means to impress women. Women live beyond their means to impress other women.

You agree with your fiance that your wedding will cost 300K. And she is good with it. Then she meets her friends and tells them that she is about to get married....boy, your chic comes home and shrieks every time you mention a 500K wedding. She wants a 1M wedding..( Someone posted on another thread 'when two women talk, the devil sita aside and listens and learns..)