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Weddings: The newest form of exploitation
Rank: Member Joined: 7/31/2009 Posts: 743
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...then a few years down the line they divorce or separate..nkt
Problems can get out of proportion, and not only in the wee small hours. Don't let the problems eclipse the Master. Let the Master eclipse the problems.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 6,592 Location: Nairobi
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Mainat wrote:The last straw was the honeymoon to Zanzibar where none of the members have ever been. Ha ha ha, I'd invite myself into that honeymoon.
BBI will solve it :)
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 1/16/2007 Posts: 1,320
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/28/2006 Posts: 1,799
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Kratos wrote:The problem we face nowadays emanates by "keeping up with the macharias", where we strive to outdo each other in terms of how big and colourful the wedding should be. It doesn't matter if you don't have the resources, we think its our right to have friends contribute generously towards the wedding. These committees are nothing but fundraisers. I was invited to sit in a committee a few years back and to my utter amazement, the couple had already chosen all the they needed and just wanted help with the cash, from the songs to be played on the day right down to the vehicles they wanted. I never went back for the meetings.  I thot kina macharia hawana hizo stingo.. what irkes me most is the wedding gowns which cost an arm and a foot and only worn mara moja... Ive always wondered if its right for committee members to also participate in airport landings etal since they have contributed for the union anyway.. from paying dowry, wedding, honeymoon, maternity bill etc.. NKT... afadhali come we stay na maisha iendelee..
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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Rank: Elder Joined: 9/23/2009 Posts: 8,083 Location: Enk are Nyirobi
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1. Lady insists on a wedding but does not even have a job. 2. A fellow (colleague)works as a messenger, earns about 10K pm, skips lunch but has a 200k wedding budget, which he expects us to raise... Sending SMSes day and night. WTF... the dude has never seen that kind of money in his account. I got wedding fatigued after attending committees, being treasurer , chairing etc. My motto is if you want me at your wedding, invite me. I will come to eat, with an appropriate gift but don't ask me for money. ITS YOUR CEREMONY NOT MINE. Life is short. Live passionately.
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Rank: Member Joined: 9/29/2010 Posts: 216 Location: Kenia
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I find wedding contributions perfectly in order if they are voluntary. I did the same some years ago, and many of my friends openly told me that they wont contribute. Some brought me gifts at the wedding! We are still very good friends, no hard feelings
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,452
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/25/2007 Posts: 58
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/26/2010 Posts: 125
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I was so shocked when I was invited for a goat - eating party. I couldn't understand why I was asked to pledge! That is not a party( at least by the way I understand it ). Am very careful these days
Why should sme1 spend 600k on a wedding when they face daily challenges of life. If you wait for fare to go down by 10 bob, struggle to pay rent, not paying for sme insurance (education insurance for your kids is very important ), don't own property ( land or a house etc. ) and you are planning such a wedding..........you are LOST!
Problem is ..... thats what some ladies want. This shows on TV are dangerous. They want their weddings to also appear on TV looking glamourous. No wonder some dudes look distraught. And the problem is, 2 years down the line the marriage will be non-existent.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 7/22/2008 Posts: 1,139
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This is absolutely true. The super cons are ur friends. I have been conned severally by friends and those village mates who look for your contacts even from your parents back in the village. The most painful is of a lady friend who invited me coz we were drinking buddies,I felt touched and gave 10k to their useless goat eating even when I ate only one piece of meat (cant remember whether it was from actual goat or a maasai zebu) and the rest was muchere na mukimo. After their weeding,the stupid couples separated 18 days later ...yes 18 days later. My 10k was gone and a duvets gift which had cost me 7k. Ata leo hiyo 17k inaniuma even if it sounds small to some. I will personally never do a wedding and if Mrs Spear want one,my church (Roman Catholic) allows 4 pax ie couplee and witnesses which can be done one early morning.Alternatively, AG yuko but I will never get stressed by things that dont add value in my life. "You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it". Malcolm X
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/17/2009 Posts: 2,038 Location: GA
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GREENCARD winners is another lot that should be avoided you changia the guy escort him to the airport 3 years down the line when he comes back utashangaa .when it comes to major life decisions involving close friends the best thing is to keep off even if they invoke the jealousy word otherwise you may live to regret
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/13/2010 Posts: 869 Location: Nairobi
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I think if you agree to be on the committee, do not complain. You agreed. I only sit on committees of my friends and i always insist that rings, wedding gown/suit and the honeymoon should at their expense. If we cannot agree at that initial stage of the meetings I opt out. Unless i am the maid of honour or on the line up (and in that case i am a very good friend), i would leave if i find it exploitative. I share my views with them on the budget. For example if i feel there is too much being put on deco, i say! Or Venue! Lastly, what i budget to give at the beginning is what i give, whether or not we met the budget. A wedding can happen on a 50-100k budget. I have seen it happen. ....above all, to stand.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 6/8/2010 Posts: 1,729
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Reminds me of a guy i met at Club Betty's one evening watching chelsea -arsenal game, even before the game started he was tipsy as we discussed what we expect from the game. I had audacity of asking why he started drinking so early even before Drogba tested Jens on the posts. The guy told me he went for a birthday party for a friends kid and decided to buy a Fire Engine toy as gift, when he reached the place to enter you buy a white handkerchief at 250kshs, then when he gave the gift he was told that the truck needs fuel, he gave 500ksh but was told that fuel to go to the field but not to return so he parted with a K. After that he got an imaginary call excused himself and made it to betty's in time, interestingly the guy he left at the party called him to say that the guys are requesting for the spare tire for the truck, the guy just cut off the phone wrote a message to his dude and said meet me at betty's when you are through and switched off the phone Life is an endless adventure
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,452
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freiks wrote:Reminds me of a guy i met at Club Betty's one evening watching chelsea -arsenal game, even before the game started he was tipsy as we discussed what we expect from the game. I had audacity of asking why he started drinking so early even before Drogba tested Jens on the posts. The guy told me he went for a birthday party for a friends kid and decided to buy a Fire Engine toy as gift, when he reached the place to enter you buy a white handkerchief at 250kshs, then when he gave the gift he was told that the truck needs fuel, he gave 500ksh but was told that fuel to go to the field but not to return so he parted with a K. After that he got an imaginary call excused himself and made it to betty's in time, interestingly the guy he left at the party called him to say that the guys are requesting for the spare tire for the truck, the guy just cut off the phone wrote a message to his dude and said meet me at betty's when you are through and switched off the phone Some of this "parties" are pure fund raisers. Someone is broke (or realizes shares are selling at a bargain - LOL) and decides to throw a birthday "party" for junior!!! Then there are those "kuzindikisha" gimmicks. First the guy waits until everyone changas as much as possible then they start "kuzindikisha" business. "Spendthrift ametoa elfu tatu. Nani atamzindikisha? @BurningSpear zindikisha rafiki yako na elfu mbili (never mind @BurningSpear has already parted with 5k - 10k). Na yeye @Burningspear atazindikishwa na @McReggae na elfu moja...." Brary Gasket!!! Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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Ms Mkenya wrote:I think if you agree to be on the committee, do not complain. You agreed.
I only sit on committees of my friends and i always insist that rings, wedding gown/suit and the honeymoon should at their expense. If we cannot agree at that initial stage of the meetings I opt out.
Unless i am the maid of honour or on the line up (and in that case i am a very good friend), i would leave if i find it exploitative. I share my views with them on the budget. For example if i feel there is too much being put on deco, i say! Or Venue!
Lastly, what i budget to give at the beginning is what i give, whether or not we met the budget. A wedding can happen on a 50-100k budget. I have seen it happen. That should be standard way of looking at it!! ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/19/2010 Posts: 1,308 Location: nairobi metropolitan
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Mainat wrote:The last straw was the honeymoon to Zanzibar where none of the members have ever been. @ mainat, hio ni kali. I hold the view that people should learn to live within their means. Nimefanya hesabu, and the figures are amazing and i have decided from today i will only contribute sparingly if it is absolutely necessary. Democracy does not belong to the dead
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/19/2007 Posts: 2,047
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Rank: User Joined: 8/29/2011 Posts: 1,045 Location: Mtaani
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Teacher,"X = Y & Y = Z it means X = Z,Can yu give examples?" Student,"Sir,I lov yu & yu lov yo daughter,it means I lov yo daughter" Oh!
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Rank: User Joined: 8/29/2011 Posts: 1,045 Location: Mtaani
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By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks his father is wrong.
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