A Kikuyu guy goes into a bar in Mombasa. Njeri, the Kikuyu barmaid takes his order and notices his Kikuyu accent. Over the course of the night they talk quite a bit. At the end of the night he asks her if she wants to have sex with him. Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her 20k for the deed. Njeri is hustling and because she is short of funds she agrees. The next night the guy turns up again and after showing her plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if she will sleep with him again for 20k. She figures in for a penny in for a pound - and it was fantastic the night before - so she agrees. This goes on for 5 nights. On the sixth night the guy comes into the bar. But this night he orders a beer and just goes and sits in the corner. Njeri is disappointed and thinks that maybe she should pay him more attention. She goes over and sits next to him. She asks him where he is from and he tells her Nakuru. "So am I" she says. "What suburb in Nakuru?" "Section 58" he says. "That's amazing" she says, "so am I - what street?" "Oginga Avenue" he says." "This is unbelievable" she says, "where?" He says "behind the Catholic church" and she is astonished. "You are not going to believe this" she says, "I'm from there, we must be neighbours and my parents still live there!" "I know" he says "your father gave me 100k to give to you!" He who drinks Kikuyu - thinks Kikuyu!

They must be french

When Alshabaab are wedding,This is how they do the vows: "me, Yusuf Abubakar,I tek u Amina 2 b ma lovely wedded wyf,in shooting, bombing, in grenades & even bullets,till kenyan army do us apart."then the kadhi says "u may now shoot de bride

~ lol. That really cracked me up.

...Tension; is when ua wife is pregnant Terror: is when ua galfrend is pregnant Horror; is when they are both pregnant... And Tragedy is when you are NOT responsible for either of both!