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Just for laughs...corner
2012
#841 Posted : Tuesday, September 13, 2011 9:59:44 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 6,592
Location: Nairobi

BBI will solve it
:)
wakagori
#842 Posted : Wednesday, September 14, 2011 3:52:15 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 7/12/2010
Posts: 201
kingfisher wrote:
I DONT KNOW WHAT THE WORLD HAS COME TO,
I WAS IN CHURCH THE OTHER DAY AND THIS LADY IN FRONT OF ME REMOVED A
CIGARETTE AND STARTED SMOKING..............

I DROPPED MY BEER, WALKED OUT OF THE CHURCH.



Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
mdudu
#843 Posted : Wednesday, September 14, 2011 4:25:54 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 7/16/2010
Posts: 158
Location: world
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14913053
Dutch woman 'called boyfriend 65,000 times'

A Dutch woman who called a man 65,000 times in the past year - an average of 178 calls a day - is due in court later to face charges of stalking.

The man told police he had been bombarded with calls, texts and emails from the woman.

Lawyers say the 42-year-old woman claimed to be in relationship with the man and denied that her actions were excessive.

The 62-year-old man denies that they were in a relationship.

The police raided the woman's home in Rotterdam and seized a number of mobile phones and several computers.

The BBC's Anna Holligan in The Hague says a judge at a preliminary hearing granted the woman bail on the condition that she leave the man alone.

But just a couple of hours after being released, she allegedly called him again, says our correspondent.

She has been kept in custody ever since, and is due to appear before a judge in The Hague later.
radio
#844 Posted : Friday, September 16, 2011 10:06:33 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/9/2009
Posts: 2,003
vinii
#845 Posted : Monday, September 19, 2011 3:24:50 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/14/2009
Posts: 2,057
A Greek and an Italian were drinking coffee one day discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon".
Arching his eyebrows the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics." The Italian, nodding in agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."

--
If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
vinii
#846 Posted : Tuesday, September 20, 2011 4:12:16 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/14/2009
Posts: 2,057
Man kneeling by bed, Wife says, what are you praying for?
Husband says: Guidance.
Wife says, Pray for stiffness, I'll guide the thing myself. Hehehehehehe!!!
If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
hello
#847 Posted : Tuesday, September 20, 2011 5:04:12 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 6/11/2008
Posts: 257
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and

turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order.

"That will be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and

pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and

the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again.

"The usual asks the waitress?"

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato

and a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and

places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.

"Excuse me, sir.

How do you manage to always come up with the exact change

in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and

found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered

me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,

I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money

would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a

million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want

for as long as you live!"

"That's right…Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce,

the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick

with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."



WELL HELLO !!!!!




I want to be a millionaire.
hello
#848 Posted : Tuesday, September 20, 2011 5:10:44 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 6/11/2008
Posts: 257
2012 wrote:


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Applause Applause Applause
I want to be a millionaire.
emmndi
#849 Posted : Tuesday, September 20, 2011 6:15:48 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 5/31/2011
Posts: 54
hello
#850 Posted : Wednesday, September 21, 2011 4:13:27 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 6/11/2008
Posts: 257
Make your choice now;

A man dies & goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell
for each country and decides he'll pick the least painful to spend his
eternity. He goes to the German hell & asks, 'What do they do here?' He is
told 'first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay
you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and
whips you for the rest of the day. The man does not like the sound of that
at all so he moves on. He checks out the USA 's hell as well as the Russian
hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the German
hell.

Then he comes to the Kenyan hell and finds that there is a long queue of
people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, 'What do they do here?' He is
told 'first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, and then they
lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Kenyan devil comes in
& whips you for the rest of the day.'

But that is exactly the same as all the other hells, why are there so many
people waiting to get in?' asks the man.


A concerned fellow calls him aside and says, 'Because there is never any
Electricity so the electric chair doesn't work. The nails were paid for
but were never supplied by the contractor, so the bed is comfortable to
sleep on……And the Kenyan devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in,
Signs his time sheet and goes away to do his other business!!'
I want to be a millionaire.
McReggae
#851 Posted : Wednesday, September 28, 2011 2:39:19 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Nigerian man called his mom from the USA.
Man: Mom, I have AIDS.
Mother: Don't come back home woo, my son woo abeg abegwoo.
Man: Why mom?
Mother: If you come back home-oh, then your wife will be infected. From your wife to your broda, from your broda to our maid woo, from our maid woo
to your fadda, from your fadda to my sistoo, from my sistoo to her husbaaand-oh, from him to me, from me to the gardener, from the gardener to your sistoo. And if your sistoo got AIDs, then the whole village will be infected-ooh! Ewoo-oh, my Son-woo!!
So in the name of GOD-ooh...PLEASE SAVE OUR VILLAGEwoo, DON'T COME BACK HOME-oo abeg abegwoo
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
nostoppingthis
#852 Posted : Thursday, September 29, 2011 12:55:01 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 8/24/2009
Posts: 5,909
Location: Nairobi
A boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper Was down, and his fly wide open. His secretary walked up to him and said, "Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your Garage door?" This was not a phrase that her boss understood, so he went into his Office looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his zipper was not zipped up. He zipped it up and remembering what his secretary had told him, Finally understood. He then intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee From his secretary. When he reached her desk, he said, "When you saw the Garage door open did you see my HUMMER parked in there?" The secretary smiled for a moment and said, No, Boss I didn't. All I saw was a Starlet with 2 flat tires." She got fired!
mwenza
#853 Posted : Thursday, September 29, 2011 2:59:15 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 4/22/2009
Posts: 2,863
Ujinga ni fan wa asenali kuwa member wa Winners Chapel.
IF YOU EXPECT ME TO POST ANYTHING POSITIVE ABOUT ASENO, YOU MAY AS WELL SIT ON A PIN
bwenyenye
#854 Posted : Thursday, September 29, 2011 3:35:03 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,805
seen on a motorbike in town..

Kenya...hakuna matata
....................

au stima na maji...


( it was in the Kenyan flag colours)
I Think Therefore I Am
mwakamoja
#855 Posted : Saturday, October 01, 2011 5:43:29 PM
Rank: Hello


Joined: 7/13/2011
Posts: 9
Betty went to a supermarket last week. She parked next to a car with a woman resting on the driver’s seat, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Betty came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head but this time, her eyes open.
The woman looked very strange, so Betty tapped on the window and asked "Are you okay? The woman answered "I've been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains in." Betty didn't know what to do; so she ran into the supermarket where supermarket officials called the paramedics.
They had to break into the car because the door was locked. When they got in, they found that the woman had bread dough on the back of her head and in her hands.
A biscuit canister had exploded, apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit her in the head. When she reached back to find what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She passed out from fright at first, but then she had to hold her "brains" in as she hoped for assistance![/
color][color=olive]
vibrodampers
#856 Posted : Tuesday, October 04, 2011 11:33:20 AM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 7/13/2011
Posts: 13
C & P


AFRICA TECHNOLOGY

5000 years of technology

After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read:
"US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephones 1000 years earlier than the Russians."

One week later, the Kenyan press reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 500m, kenyan scientists have found absolutely nothing. The government has concluded that 5000 years ago,their ancestors were already using mobile phones due to cable theft problems."
dossy7
#857 Posted : Wednesday, October 05, 2011 2:55:53 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 1,491
Location: Nairobi

Today i read a very sad article about the dangers of alcohol
so i have decided to quit reading!
Kenya ni yetu sisi sote
bkismat
#858 Posted : Wednesday, October 05, 2011 4:00:04 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 2,375
The Kenyan Shilling and the Zimbabwean Dollar are now friends.Like.Comment
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt...
-Mark Twain
Rahatupu
#859 Posted : Wednesday, October 05, 2011 4:22:52 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 1,982
Location: matano manne
Ujinga ni ma fans wa Arsenal kula Milo ati ndio wawe champions!!!Pray Pray
bkismat
#860 Posted : Thursday, October 06, 2011 8:38:51 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 2,375
C&P
Dear Math

I'm sick and tired of finding your "x".
Just accept the fact that she is gone.

MOVE ON DUDE
.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt...
-Mark Twain
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