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Just for laughs...corner
Rank: Elder Joined: 10/1/2009 Posts: 2,436
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marex wrote:Cecily Mbarire told the husband:Peleka sh 100k kwa Pillow
akapeleka kwa PLO Latest, ksh 100K is officially now a Mbarire
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 7/22/2011 Posts: 46
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Intelligentsia wrote:marex wrote:Cecily Mbarire told the husband:Peleka sh 100k kwa Pillow
akapeleka kwa PLO Latest, ksh 100K is officially now a Mbarire ...an the act of trying to 'honga' someone is kumbarire!! ...
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/24/2007 Posts: 1,805
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Further to our movement of Arsenal games to CARTOON NETWORK. The Management has now directed that the same will now be moved to CHANNEL O as they now qualify as pure hillarious entertainment. We look forward to serving you better. I Think Therefore I Am
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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UJINGA ni Arsenal kuchapwa bao NANE,mwezi wa NANE,tarehe ishirini na NANE.mayowe... ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 8/12/2011 Posts: 97
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I've heard somewhere that there is a new curriculum in schools worldwide.
The new internationally recognized method of counting is:
1, Arsenal, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, Man U, 9, 10
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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Ruto: "Dude, this guy just called you short." Arap Sang: "Hell no! Lift me up so I can punch him in the face." I wonder if Sang has a Jumbo Junior account: "The BIG savings account for LITTLE people!" It is very wrong to wear a pair of Sangs to the office. Don't worry Sang, life is short... Ekaterina: Mr Sang, I will warn you that you must be standing when addressing the court. Sang': Madam President, I am standing., ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/23/2010 Posts: 868 Location: La Islas Galápagos
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/27/2008 Posts: 4,114
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In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?" The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on its head!" Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/12/2011 Posts: 177 Location: Jersey Island
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A tourist in Migingo asked a boat guy "omondi Do you know Biology, Psychology, Geography, Geology and Criminology?"Omondi said NO .The tourist then said: What the hell you know on the face of this earth? You will die of illiteracy!!After a while, the boat started sinking, Omosh asked the tourist:Do you know Swimology and Escapology from Crocodilogy?The tourist said NO!Omondi replied:Well you will Drownology and Crocodilogy will eat your A**ology, you will Dieology because of your Badmouthology.....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/4/2007 Posts: 656
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IF CARS WERE LIKE COMPUTERS... 1) If you get an erection while driving, a pop-up would appear on the windscreen with the message, "New hardware detected!" 2) A car would take forever to start. It would first list ALL the things it has in the engine, bring the manufactu...rer's logo then tell you, "Car Starting. Please wait". After starting, you then have to wait for the signals to load, the brakes, the driver's seat and other items before you use it. 3) When a vehicle suddenly gets in your way and you suddenly slam the brakes, the vehicle would ask, "Are You Sure You Want To Apply Brakes?" 4) The car would sometimes start and then you realize things are in the wrong places. The boot is in the front, the steering wheel is in the bonnet and the driver's seat is on the roof. 5) When someone crosses the road without looking, trying to hoot suddenly results in hanging of the car horn program. So you hit him, and when the police come and you say your horn hung, the horn starts working and blares aloud for each of the times you had pressed before. 6) Cars would get viruses that suddenly hide the speedometer and brakes. 7) Whenever anyone on the passenger seat tries to change the strereo, the car would say, "Access denied. You dont have the required rights to change the station" 8) Just when you are doing ninety on the highway, the car functions would suddenly stop responding. 9) You would drive home very well one day, switch off the car, then in the morning when you try to start it, it tells you that it cannot locate the steering wheel. 10) If you give a hooker a lift and you touch her while you are driving, the following message would appear, "This driver has perfomed an illegal operation and will be shut down!" The steering wheel would then disappear ... ... The way I am
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/4/2007 Posts: 656
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A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting. "You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear." At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man's anus, and then licks it. He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of them. After a couple of minutes silence, they follow suit. "The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of observation: I stuck my middle finger into the corpse's anus, but I licked my index." The way I am
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/4/2007 Posts: 656
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A guy is on a date with this girl, so he takes her to his house. When they get up there, she says, ”I have to be honest with you, I’m a prostitute .” The guy thinks about this for a short time and says it’s okay. He agrees to pay her $25 and they get down to business. After they finish, the guy says, ”I have to be honest with you now. I’m a cab driver and it’ll cost you $25 for me to drive you back into town.” The way I am
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Rank: Chief Joined: 8/24/2009 Posts: 5,909 Location: Nairobi
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Ujinga ni Government kudhania tutaanzisha Kenyans4Teachers.....
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Rank: Chief Joined: 3/24/2010 Posts: 6,779 Location: Black Africa
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nostoppingthis wrote:Ujinga ni Government kudhania tutaanzisha Kenyans4Teachers.....  GOD BLESS YOUR LIFE
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/27/2008 Posts: 4,114
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An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.A gentleman approached her and said, 'Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?' 'Yes, I know,' said the lady. 'I need both my hands to hold onto this hat.' 'But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and everything is exposed!' said the gentleman in earnest.The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, 'Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!' Talk about Priorities.... Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/23/2010 Posts: 868 Location: La Islas Galápagos
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/28/2006 Posts: 1,799
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Ujinga ni: Kufikiria Himalayas ni salamu za mapoko
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Rank: Elder Joined: 4/9/2008 Posts: 2,824
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I DONT KNOW WHAT THE WORLD HAS COME TO, I WAS IN CHURCH THE OTHER DAY AND THIS LADY IN FRONT OF ME REMOVED A CIGARETTE AND STARTED SMOKING.............. I DROPPED MY BEER, WALKED OUT OF THE CHURCH. When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
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