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Just for laughs...corner
kingfisher
#801 Posted : Friday, August 19, 2011 5:27:06 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 4/9/2008
Posts: 2,824
When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
jasonhill
#802 Posted : Saturday, August 20, 2011 3:59:55 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 1/22/2011
Posts: 322
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
nostoppingthis wrote:
jasonhill wrote:
Absolutely HILLarious!

Now let me give you my version, which, I must admit, isn't so funny:

A Kikuyu man and a Muhindi man are sitting next to each other on a long flight from London to Nairobi.

The Muhindi man leans over to the Kikuyu and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Kikuyu just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The Muhindi man persists and explains that the game is real easy and is a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, you pay me $5."

Again, the Kikuyu politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Muhindi man, now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, you pay me $100!"

Without a word, Mike reaches into his wallet, hands the Muhindi $100, and turns away to continue with his sleep!

CONsulting... a Beautiful name for a CON.


really, you had to edit and put 'kikuyu'. it was quite different when I first read it and had no tribe


It had Kikuyu in it when I got it from the original post; I didn't change that part.

But for that matter, it could be any tribe or race, so long as the person lives in or does business in East Africa, it applies.

Best,

Hill
mwakamoja
#803 Posted : Sunday, August 21, 2011 11:43:31 AM
Rank: Hello

Joined: 7/13/2011
Posts: 9
During a symposium organised by sexologists in Nairobi, a visiting professor was asked to give a talk on "SEX".

When his turn came, he stood, walked to the
podium, and adjusted the microphone to fit his height.

he then said:


"Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me greeeeeat pleasure...Thank you"


Then he turned back and sat back down.
majay
#804 Posted : Tuesday, August 23, 2011 4:06:41 PM
Rank: New-farer

Joined: 5/28/2011
Posts: 98
leona wrote:
This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Kisumu. Her name was Atieno . She was hit by a truck.

She used to work at a fish stall. She had a boy friend named Odhis. Both of them were true ly in love. They always used to talk on the phone. You could never see her without her cell phone. In fact she changed her SIM card from Safcom to Zain, so both of them c ould be on the same network, and save on cost.

She used to spend half the day talking to Odhis. Atieno's family knew about their relationship. Odhis is still very close with Atieno's family. (just imagine their love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends. "If I pass away please burry me with my cellphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people couldnt carry her body, a lot of them tried to do so but still couldn' t. Every one had tried the result was still the same.They just could not lift her. Eventually, they called a person who knew one of their neighbours, who could speak with the souls of the dead.

He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here." Then her friends told him about her intentions to be buried with her phone. He then opened the casket and place d her phone and sim card inside. After that they tried to carry the body... It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily.

All of us were shocked. Atieno's parents did not inform Odhis of her passing.

After 2 weeks Odhis called Atis's mom.....

...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Don't tell Atis that I'm coming home today, I wan t to surprise her." Her mother replied..... "You come home first, I need to tell you something very important."

After he came, they told him the truth. He thought they were playing a trick . He was laughing and said "don't try to fool me - tell Atis to come out, i have a gift for her. And please stop this nonsense".

Then they showed him the original death certificate. They gave him proof . ( Odhis started to sweat) He said... "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me. Suddenly, Odhis 's phone rang.. "see this is from Atis, see this...." he showed the phone to the family. all of them told him to answer , he switched to speaker mode.

All of them heard his conversation. .....

Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.

It was the actual voice of Atis & there was no way others could use her sim card since it was nailed inside the casket . They were so shocked and asked for the person who could speak to soul of the dead.

He tried for 5 hours. Then he discovered one thing which really shocked them...



ZAIN has the best coverage.

Wherever you go, the network follows!!!



Don't be pissed at me I am also looking for the idiot who sent me this mail...Laughing out loudly

Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
all about Kenya in 2011
bwenyenye
#805 Posted : Tuesday, August 23, 2011 4:36:00 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,805
BREAKING NEWS- Arsenal matches will now be screened LIVE on CARTOON NETWORK until they get serious...

Source SMS
I Think Therefore I Am
hoodrat
#806 Posted : Tuesday, August 23, 2011 4:54:00 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 4/27/2010
Posts: 262
A husband and wife are in bed asleep.The wife is dreaming and suddenly yells,"Quick,my husband is home!"....Her husband then quickly wakes up and jumps out through the window....
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today!
Djinn
#807 Posted : Tuesday, August 23, 2011 6:39:38 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/13/2008
Posts: 1,565
bwenyenye wrote:
BREAKING NEWS- Arsenal matches will now be screened LIVE on CARTOON NETWORK until they get serious...

Source SMS

Laughing out loudly
StatMeister
#808 Posted : Thursday, August 25, 2011 7:55:08 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/23/2010
Posts: 868
Location: La Islas Galápagos
hoodrat wrote:
A husband and wife are in bed asleep.The wife is dreaming and suddenly yells,"Quick,my husband is home!"....Her husband then quickly wakes up and jumps out through the window....



Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work
McReggae
#809 Posted : Thursday, August 25, 2011 9:17:26 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
LATEST: mulembe nite postponed until. "Pei ya sukari iruti jini"
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
StatMeister
#810 Posted : Thursday, August 25, 2011 10:27:50 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/23/2010
Posts: 868
Location: La Islas Galápagos
C&P

There was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy some 5-6 years old. The relationship b/w the couple was turning sour.

So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than carry on such a relationship. So they consulted a lawyer. But the big question was who would have the kid. In the hearing in the court, it was decided that this choice should be left on the kid.

So the judge asked "Son would you like to stay with your mummy?" Kid said,"No, mummy beats me"

So the judge asked "Then, would you like to stay with your papa then?" Kid said, "No, papa beats me"

Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not able to decide what to do... after pondering for some time he smiled with the ideas he had in his mind about the child......

And he gave the judgment that the kid would stay with......any guesses????????





ARSENAL - THEY NEVER BEAT ANYBODY!!
A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work
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