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Political satire/comedy
Tutu
#21 Posted : Thursday, April 09, 2009 1:30:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 11/12/2008
Posts: 74
Enyewe this is hillarious!!!!

PLO i can't remember ot he was referring to exactly ...''you can't react to a mosquito bite by hitting it with a hammer'

@ Bwenyenye ati craziness lol!


For me to live is Jesus Christ,to die is gain
chi20
#22 Posted : Thursday, April 09, 2009 1:33:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/24/2008
Posts: 223
when moi as prezzo hosted Maggy Thatcher (UK PM then) at statehouse,Thatcher was impressed by the maasai traditional dancers and commented '. . . . . . this is fantastic',moi replied,true,its 'cocolastic',implying coke soda which he was sipping then

mwana wa kahii . . . . . .
McReggae
#23 Posted : Thursday, April 09, 2009 1:37:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Idi Amin when the Queen visited Uganda and the meeting room was hot!!!!

'Can you open the windows so that the temperature can come in because the queen is on heat'



Make money.....then you will enjoy all the fine things in life!!!
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
adept
#24 Posted : Thursday, April 09, 2009 1:47:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 12/8/2008
Posts: 359
Francis Atwoli - This guy is a real all-round comedian. Hand-waving,table-banging,bling bling all over... Did you watch him on the news yesterday... I swear if you were close,you could have gotten some serious injury...
mutuemilio
#25 Posted : Thursday, April 09, 2009 1:52:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 2/21/2008
Posts: 26
hahahahaha.........fufufufufu...hehehehe........You cannot rape a woman who is already too willing.

Kiraitu Murungi,few years ago.
Njunge
#26 Posted : Thursday, April 09, 2009 1:54:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
My former high school HM.....Dude is driving along a highway with his wife and encounters a student who had sneaked to town.The student ducks into a wheatfarm.......The following morning on parade....Loudly.....

...'And when he saw me,he ran into the bush with my wife'


Guka wa bijuti...
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
danny6
#27 Posted : Thursday, April 09, 2009 2:00:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 12/4/2007
Posts: 313
'Rioting is a Kenyan thing. If they didn't do it,they'd be Tanzanian.' - Dr. Mavura,from Tanzania

'I knew him (Mwai Kibaki) when we were young boys and he was brilliant. You could tell by the way he took care of his father's sheep.' - Kenyan voter Daniel Gitu,aged 70

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

'When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door,that we do not see the ones which open for us'.
Wendz
#28 Posted : Thursday, April 09, 2009 2:46:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
@Impunity


hahaha... you have reminded me that one.... ati 'kwani hiyo ndio kazi yako peke yake?'

Some deals are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
Mr.Tea
#29 Posted : Thursday, April 09, 2009 3:35:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 12/4/2008
Posts: 341
Location: Nairobi
I'm told of this chemistry teacher in a certain high school who suffered from the MTI syndrome. So he finds students seated in the lawn then goes why are are you sitting on the world,aren't there enough chairs around? Another time he is taking the students on a tour by bus and on sensing that the bus was moving rather slowly he turns to the driver Hey bwana dereva,step on the fat we are late.

Patience Pays in Guaranteed Checks
Patience Pays In Guaranteed Checks.
simonkabz
#30 Posted : Thursday, April 09, 2009 7:52:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,776
Location: Cameroon
Bumula MPig Silvester Bifwoli Wakoli just kills me. 'ukicha pumula hakuna parapara! Sisi tunashangaa kama pumula iko kenya ama ukanda!!'

Truest proverb: Mwenda pole hajikwai
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
Mainat
#31 Posted : Thursday, April 09, 2009 9:00:00 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/21/2006
Posts: 1,590
Anyang Nyong'o-'ODM has been denied its conjugal rights by PNU'

www.mjengakenya.blogspot.com
Sehemu ndio nyumba
mukwano
#32 Posted : Thursday, April 09, 2009 10:46:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 11/15/2006
Posts: 44
reddikulass as kiraitu in 2004!!
'yes we said you will have a new conshtitushon in 100 days but hakuna mahali tulisema those days will be consecutive!!'
harrydre
#33 Posted : Friday, April 10, 2009 12:04:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/10/2008
Posts: 9,131
Location: Kanjo
'...what we shall not have,(pointing @ journalists and looking left and right) is preachers in the streets with their loud voices,we will not have touts shouting everything beyond 30 meters...'

Hon Michuki on Noise pollution.

Don`t let failure go to your heart and don`t let success go to your head
i.am.back!!!!
jerry
#34 Posted : Friday, April 10, 2009 2:55:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 9/29/2006
Posts: 2,570
Who said it? Hujui sisi! Sisi na shetani ni 'giitu moya'. Combine with 'I better die than resign' and you can imagine what HOUSE you get!

Ecs 11.2 Give portions to seven,yes to eight,for you do not know what disaster may come upon the land.
The opposite of courage is not cowardice, it's conformity.
harrydre
#35 Posted : Friday, April 10, 2009 2:50:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/10/2008
Posts: 9,131
Location: Kanjo
na hiyo ni maendeleo

Don`t let failure go to your heart and don`t let success go to your head
i.am.back!!!!
harrydre
#36 Posted : Friday, April 10, 2009 3:03:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/10/2008
Posts: 9,131
Location: Kanjo
sasa unalilia raia ukufanyie nini?...michuki

Don`t let failure go to your heart and don`t let success go to your head
i.am.back!!!!
cxz
#37 Posted : Friday, April 10, 2009 5:39:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 2/5/2007
Posts: 126
If people want me to prove to them that i have no homosexual inclinations,i will test all their wives and girlfriends - adrian nastase

'A stone is heavy,and the sand weighty; but a fool’s wrath is heavier than them both.' (Proverbs 27:3).
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