Sometime’s I miss Arap Moi . He was ubiquitous, a true African ‘Big Man’; Nyayo Bus, Nyayo Milk, Nyayo Tea Zone, Nyayo House, Moi Primary, Moi Secondary, Moi University, Moi Stadium, KANU delegates conference (baba na mama), Tingisha, the rungu, the stare on the bank notes, the celibacy/divorcee/whatever it was status ( I wonder-really wonder, lakini tuwache gossip-au sio?) , KBC lunch time news cabinet re-shuffle, Project Uhuru, Nyati House, Detention without trial, dissidents, Mwakenya, Mmomonyoko wa udongo, The Moi Vuvuzelas (Oloo Aringo, GG Kariuki, JJ Kamotho)……….ad infinitum. That was another place, another time.

When I was young I thought Moi was immortal. But true to his word, he is /was ‘like a giraffe, he could see far’. That’s why he quit while he was still ahead, as soon as the fat lady sung he was off. Imagine if Moi was Laurent Gbagbo, grimly hanging on to power like a deranged lunatic, subsequently cornered like a Muthurwa market rat in a state house bunker, sweating profusely in a vest, blinking wildly like a chang’aa blindness victim. A picture speaks a thousand words. That image of Gbagbo’s capture will haunt me forever- An African ‘Big Man’ mortalised, humbled, cornered, crushed and reduced to a pile of quivering hot ugali. Moi meanwhile is peacefully enjoying his ill-gotten billions at Kabarak; ‘wenye inchi’.

A big square white peg was forcibly inserted into Africa’s black round hole during the Berlin Conference of 1884-1885. Unless we as Africans can figure out a way to remove this peg (no matter how painful the lobotomy) without the IMF, World Bank, and the so called ‘first world’ assisting or directing, we will forever be enslaved and wallow in poverty, disease, tribalism , conflict and other African curses. We got our independence in the 1950’s and 1960’s, but it was a sham, we simply changed one master for another worse breed- greedy, corrupt, charlatans, thieves , self-centered, tribal, and all those other negative things you can think of.

Which African president has left a legacy worth a smile?..... Abacha? Died mangaring Oriental chips funga’s. Moi? Sowed the seeds of poverty, corruption and impunity. Gbagbo? Nothing more to add. Amin/Obote/Okello/? Zilch. Nyerere? Ujamaa aka poverty / illiteracy. Chiluba? Grand corruption. Mugabe? Failed state. Siad Barre ? Failed state- home of pirates. Gaddafi/ Ben Ali/ Mubarak (Are they African’s?) ? Strife, war, hubris.

Suppose Africa was not partitioned, where would we be? Does a Luo in Nyanza have more in common with a Dinka in Southern Sudan and an Acholi in Uganda than a Kikuyu in Central? Suppose the Tutsi’s and Hutu’s were not partitioned into Rwanda and Burundi? Maswali mingi sana.

2012, the big hot potato, is coming soon. What have we as Kenyans learnt from our colonial past, our ‘independence’ from Britain, Kenyatta’s era, Moi’s error and Kibaki’s legitimate first term driven by the NARC euphoria and stolen second term?

What is G7? My two cents worth is that G7 = KANU re-loaded. Relax! Ngoja !- I know Kenya was once a one party state and everyone was in KANU. I mean everything negative KANU stood for that gallant Kenyans fought so long and shed blood to get rid off ; corruption, impunity, muzzling free media, nepotism, tribalism, nyayo chambers, Youth for Kenya 92’…….

What are our choices: Retro-Nyayoists? A kati-kati enthusiast? Ole Kiyiapi (Education scandal musi-sahau)? Martha (Stolen second term commando)? RAO (Molasses/flip-flopping/ Maize scandal), Saitoti (Goldenberg). Perhaps we should bite the bullet and give Kibaki another term?

The tragedy of it all is that I am a Luo, and I will support RAO in 2012, because he is Luo-our leader. Anything else is sugar-coating; reform credentials, people person, democrat……utter bollocks.

Tuwache vako- we are African, Tribal, Clannist and Juju-centric (Christianity and Islam were rammed down our throats). Let’s find a system that works for us. Perhaps turudi system ya tribal Chieftains and Kingdoms. We are trying to ape, mimic and clone Britain and USA too much. Look at the Chinese, they have found a system that works for them-wenyewe.

Au Sio?

Dude, I love your writing style