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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 6,592 Location: Nairobi
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sparkly wrote:bkismat wrote:sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you dont multiply! Lollest  Too fresh!
BBI will solve it :)
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/29/2009 Posts: 217
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Ni mukumenyithio gikuu kia mutiga-iri Osama muru wa Madeni uria uroragiirwo hitahitano-ini ya tharikiro ya mbutu na biraru cia America muthi wa mweri imwe mweri uyu. Mutigairi arari muru wa atigairi Ladeni na Halima. Ni Muthuri wa Hagara Hassan. Arari na ciana mugwanja cia anake nicio Ishmaeli, Hassan, Hudim, Peka, Swanga, Abdi na labrazak na muiritu umwe niwe Hachirikazek. Ni guka wa tucucu mirongo iri na igiri na tucukuru twingi na twaganu muno makiria. Family na arata nimaracemania gwake mucii gitaru kia Islamabad ya gatagati Itura ria Kabul oo muthenya kwambiriria thinacara ya hwai-ini. Mahoya magakorwo muthigiti-ini wa Kweza, ithuiro ria itura ria Islamabad, gitaru kia Kabul muthi wa jumatano mweri ithatu uyu wa gatano na kurumirirwo ni mathiko oro muthenya ucio thaa inyanya hirigiti-ini cia irima nene cia Kabul. Mucukani aromuiga handu hega hatauraga. Thii na uhoro mutiga-iri Osama, uromama kwega mwaki-ini wa icua-ini na ugie na kigiriko gitathiraga.. ...hold me in your arms, like that Spanish guitar… all night long!!!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/14/2009 Posts: 2,057
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Intelligentsia wrote:I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse ,,,,,the purse indeed,,,,,, If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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SAFARICOM Dear customer,you have an outstanding okoa jahazi balance amounting to kshs 50.00. Please pay this balance as soon as possible,failure to which utahama!! Tutakupeleka Yu au Airtel punda wewe,nkt!! Bob collymore si wenu kumbafu!! Unadhani safaricom ni ya nyanya yako burukenge wewe?Ulikopa ...na huna pesa za kulipa?Uza simu ununue credit,shenzi nyang'au utahama wewe!!safaricom the better option ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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The latest ATM in Kisumo town communicates in Dholuo! U put ur card n it says "WACHANE"? U press key 4 cash, it says "IDWARO MINYONGE ADI"? If u press the wrong key twice it says "OMERA WIYI RACH!" U ask 4 more cash it says "OMERA IRINGO NEKO" as u leave it says "DHI MABER RAURANI" ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/1/2009 Posts: 2,436
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McReggae wrote:SAFARICOM Dear customer,you have an outstanding okoa jahazi balance amounting to kshs 50.00. Please pay this balance as soon as possible,failure to which utahama!!
Tutakupeleka Yu au Airtel punda wewe,nkt!! Bob collymore si wenu
kumbafu!! Unadhani safaricom ni ya nyanya yako burukenge wewe?Ulikopa ...na huna pesa za kulipa?Uza simu ununue credit,shenzi nyang'au utahama wewe!!safaricom the better option I dread the day they will invent talking ATMs, esp. when it scans the guys in the queue and announces loudly, TUSIZOEANE, MC REGGAE, INTEL NA VINII HAMNA PESA, THAT'S IT, HAMNA! BECAUSE OF WHY BASI MNA QUEUE?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 4/9/2008 Posts: 2,824
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CP In Ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?" "Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test." 'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance. "That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?" "No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it." "All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?" "No, on the contrary....." "So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?" The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?" "No, not really." "Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?" The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was f***ing his wife!! When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/24/2009 Posts: 200
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 6,592 Location: Nairobi
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Hon. Njenga KarumeA blast from the past that will make your Friday
BBI will solve it :)
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/4/2008 Posts: 1,703
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"marijuana" isn't such a bad word...its kyuk for "they knew each other" Example of application in a statement; " marikutana, marijuana, makafedana !!! Think Positive Test Negative
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 7/3/2007 Posts: 1,634
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An Irish priest was transferred to Ballina Catholic Church Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Ballina parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a Donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. Not knowing who else to call, he promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this: ''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?" "And the best of the day ter yer good self. This is Father O'Malley at St. Francis Xavier Catholic Church. There's a Donkey lying dead right in der middle of me front lawn " Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!" There was dead silence on the line for a long moment and then Father O'Malley replied: "Ah, 'to be sure, that is true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin." "The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth." (Niels Bohr)
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Rank: Chief Joined: 8/24/2009 Posts: 5,909 Location: Nairobi
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C&P
Jimmy Gathu at Muliro Gardens with a calculator::::
Kumlipia rent=0
Kumpeleka lodging=0
Kumpeleka dinner=0.
CONCLUSION: Boss, si wewe ni genius!!
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Rank: Chief Joined: 8/24/2009 Posts: 5,909 Location: Nairobi
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C&P
Joey Greco: Investigation day 15:the suspect is seen entering his house with a female companion.
Confrontation: we follow the suspect and the companion to the house, our client locks the bedroom door, the suspect tries to escape by jumping from the balcony,unfortunately...he dint make it........Joey Greco
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Rank: Elder Joined: 4/9/2008 Posts: 2,824
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very nice.. http://www.youtube.com/w...e=player_embedded#at=235When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 6,592 Location: Nairobi
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nostoppingthis wrote:C&P
Joey Greco: Investigation day 15:the suspect is seen entering his house with a female companion.
Confrontation: we follow the suspect and the companion to the house, our client locks the bedroom door, the suspect tries to escape by jumping from the balcony,unfortunately...he dint make it........Joey Greco Didn't get the joke. Is there a joke here?
BBI will solve it :)
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Rank: Member Joined: 1/22/2011 Posts: 193 Location: nairobi
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Sam mvuta bangi karejea kwake usiku akamkuta mkewe kalala na chupi yenye kimkanda tu kwa nyuma (thong) jamaa akaanza kucheka mpaka mkewe akaamka akamuuliza unacheka nini? akamjibu, ndio mara yangu ya kwanza kuona matako yamevaa sandals
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Rank: Elder Joined: 4/9/2008 Posts: 2,824
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Rank: Elder Joined: 4/9/2008 Posts: 2,824
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Querry wrote:Sam mvuta bangi karejea kwake usiku akamkuta mkewe kalala na chupi yenye kimkanda tu kwa nyuma (thong) jamaa akaanza kucheka mpaka mkewe akaamka akamuuliza unacheka nini? akamjibu, ndio mara yangu ya kwanza kuona matako yamevaa sandals wololololooooooo ata ile bangi ya sonko ni afadhari When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/14/2009 Posts: 2,057
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Mbele ya watumishi wa Mungu,mume bila woga akafungua zipu nakuitoa,kisha akaanza kuiingiza kwa mkewe taratibu huku watu wamepigwa na butwaa,akaendelea kuingiza,huku mke akitabasamu kwa furaha,akisikilizia uingiaji wake,waumini walizidi kushangaa,basi ilipoingia na kukaa vizuri kwa mkewe waumini walipiga vigelegele kwa furaha.Sasa watabasamu nini?NI PETE!!!wehwehh.. ulidhani ni wat? If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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methalis made in kenya:umoja ni estate,utengano ni set bac,mbio za marathon huishia kwa balcony,cha mlevi huliwa na mututho,asiyekubali kushindwa atakuwa prime minista,ukistaajabu ya musa hujaskia ya onyancha,mpiga ngumi ukuta ni sonko,mgema akisifiwa mututho huingilia kati,kidole kimoja ni jina ya chrch ya hellon,asiyefunzwa na mamaye hufunzwa na google search,leo ni leo asemaye kesho ni fan wa arsenali.. ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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