Fellow SKerians,I'm posting this at this ungodly hour coz I'm a man deprived of sleep. We broke up with my girlfriend about 2 months ago after a serious disagreement. Problem is she had pulled the marking the territory trick i saw being discussed here a while back and successfully moved in with me without me realising it. At that time she didn't have a job so i reluctantly gave in with the assumption that she'll move out once she got stable. Well,days changed to months and soon we got used to each other mpaka I lengad that vibe for moving out. To cut a long story short after I called it off she's now refused to leave my house even though she now has a job. Question is how do I make her leave without causing drama? I'm a mild-mannered guy and would hate to be the talk of the neighbours. I think she realises that and so takes full advantage. It's gotten to a point where she comes home reeking of alcohol at wee hours of the night. I stopped drinking a while back so this really pisses me off. Any helpful and unhelpful suggestions are highly welcome...

Be the change you want to see in the world...

Move out na umwachie nyumba...

Randomly insane

You already know what to do. Am I wrong? The question is: what is holding you back?
When it quits being fun,quit. This thing does not work,it will not work. That's it,finished,end of story.
Larry Winget said: the biggest problem is not knowing the right thing but not doing it.

You're not married to her and you tolarate her mis-behaviour?
Get another house somewhere and move out with your things.
Never disclose where you're going to her. Don't contact her,don't pick her calls.
If shes finds out eventually and comes there,lock her out and call the authority to arrest her. Don't compromise. It's your life. You don't have to stoop that low as to compromise your quality of life. There're better women who can be better girlfriends & wives.

You don't need a drunkard who does not respect herself.


AKS

Si you introduce her to @kongowea. he is looking for someone.

@Kongowea..... you might need to request SK to delete your thread.... Mission accomplished right here!!! tihihihi tihihiiii

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

There is no gold medal for trying to be a sweetie while you are dying of ulcers. Coming home late and drunk is just the ultimate. Goodness what else she is coming home with.

What I find most ironic is that you are afraid of what the neighbors will think. Wake up buddy! Your lady comes home at 2AM and drunk for you to open the door for her. You are already the talk of the neighborhood pal!

Tell me you wake up to prepare her some ugali for her troubles and I'll smack you upside the head...bwana,you have to draw the line! I am saying this because I know being too nice to women (no offence ladies) can be completely misunderstood. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions for both you and them to move forward in life. Believe me,if she has any decency (left),she will thank you later in life.

Hata hivyo,let me stop inciting you at this point and say that moving out sounds like the most diplomatic thing to do. If you do own the house,rent it out and get another place. Else if its rented,dont see what the big deal is when dealing with a girlfriend. One life to live. Maximize and get rid of junk!

Do what my pal did. (I hope you're not reading this D but it made my year!)

Get an Agent to get you a house/apartment that's within the price and location you want.
Make sure you move out on a work day when you're both working,take leave without her knowledge. Don't worry about your deposit,most people never get it back anyway. And if she had nothing,leave her a few things eg sufuria,a stool,tissue,soap,a mattress if possible etc. for PR sake.

Bright and interesting people talk about ideas.
Those of average intelligence talk about things.
Stupid people talk about other people.

Take a leave. Change the padlock and go somewhere for sometimes. Avoid her calls. Come back and change houses when she is not aware.



Lakini usimuonyeshe maadharau hata kama ana kunywa pombe. Once you have lungulad her the bond becomes strong.


tap tap

Your problem is very easy to solve. First,moving might not be the best solution but you might have to result to it if all else fails. If you have stayed in that house for a while,the rent you are paying is probably lower than the current market price - maybe by as much as 30%! Also,probably the location of the house - it might not be easy to get an equivalent if you are searching in a hurry.
My suggestion. Take leave - at least two weeks - throw her stuff out of the house (hire a watchman for the night as someone suggested) change the lock and padlocks,lock the house and go for a holiday somewhere remote - or even your shagz and be sure to switch off your mobile! Also,before you leave,inform the care taker or whoever that nobody should be allowed into your house lest he gets some people to break in! Or you can get a no-joke sister or cousin to 'house sit' while you are away! Another option is to have the watchie stationed there for a week (you can even have one for day and one for evening) to make sure she does not break in. At 'kazi kwa vijana' rates,this should cost you only 5K.

@chris...what is you had a kid with her like some of us? It could be worse. You dont solve a problem by running away from it. This is a very simple case if you are a man enough. Stand your ground and tell her,forcefully,to go to hell with her shaggy little devils! Hurl her knickers out of the window and switch on the sports channel and continue with your life,man.

@just-rant

are you ranting from experience?