@Amir look for the dog first

C & P

Raila, Kibaki, Ngilu and Martha Karua are traveling in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap!

The train comes out of the tunnel. Ngilu and Raila are sitting there looking perplexed. Kibaki is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Ngilu is thinking: "These men are all crazy after martha karua". Kibaki must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Martha Karua is thinking: "Kibaki must have moved to kiss me,and kissed Ngilu instead and got slapped."

Kibaki is thinking: "Damn it, Raila must have tried to kiss Martha Karua, she thought it was me and slapped me."

Raila is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Kibaki again"

> Once upon a time there was a 5th standard class of students
> going on.
>
> Lady Teacher asked this question to the class....
> There are 50 birds on a tree.
> if I shoot one then how many will be remaining on the
> tree???
> Every child replied ' there will be 49 birds
> remaining'
> except for one boy who raised his hand to answer.
> The teacher wanted to know if the boy had a different
> answer.
> The boy said that there wont be any bird because all the
> other birds
> will fly away, sensing the danger.
> She said although the answer is wrong but 'I LIKE THE
> WAY YOU THINK'.
> A few days later, the same boy met the teacher in a market
> and said
> 'Mam, today I would also like to ask you a question ?
> '
> 'See, there are three ladies eating ice cream at
> icecream parlour,
> One of them is licking the icecream,
> One of them is sucking the icecream,
> and the last one is biting the icecream,
> can you tell me, which one of them is married??? '
> It was a shock of a lifetime for the teacher.
> She perspired like anything infront of a 9 year old kid.
> Anyhow she replied ' The one who is sucking'.
> The boy replied ' No mam, the answer is wrong'
> The teacher was astonished as she asked 'why ??? '
> The boy said ' the answer is the one who is wearing the
> wedding ring'
> but ' I LIKE THE WAY YOU THIN

"Dear God, this winter please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies in Daddy's Cell phone, & build shelter to the homeless men who sleep with mum when dad is at work Amen."

Please explain...Especially the pegs.

Anyway its funny;

long live madondo!

c & p

Baked Beans

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released ALL the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!"

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.
He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage!!!

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeped through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[quote=centerbolt]C&P


this is one of the best things i've ever read. Man, have you lost your centerbolt?

@intelligent utalipa fine yakufanya ribs ziume

that just made my day